← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Holiday Survival Guide II: Perfect Gifts and Fighting Fatigue (with Rainn Wilson)

Dec 15, 2025 31m 14s 26 insights
<p>What stresses you out over the festive season? Happiness Lab listeners sent in their holiday woes so Dr Laurie and guest Rainn Wilson (The Office star and host of <a href="https://www.soulboom.com/">Soul Boom</a>) could weigh in with some science-backed advice.&nbsp;</p> <p>In the second part of our Holiday Survival Guide, Dr Laurie and Rainn discuss what makes the perfect gift, how to slow down to enjoy the festivities, and why your smart phone should join the elf on a shelf.&nbsp;</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Self-Care First

Prioritize your own self-care, rest, and ask for help, like putting on your own oxygen mask first, so you can effectively be there for others.

2. Address Workaholism’s Root Causes

Address the underlying psychological roots, such as trauma or deprivation mentality, that drive workaholism, as this is a long-term process requiring significant self-reflection.

3. Queue Holiday Woes for Later

Use holiday frustrations and pain points as signals for deeper issues that can be addressed in the new year, rather than trying to solve everything immediately during the busy season.

4. Subtract for Happier Holidays

Actively remove tasks, events, or obligations from your holiday plate to reduce stress and increase joy, rather than constantly trying to add more.

5. Notice Overwhelm as a Signal

Pay attention to feelings of overwhelm as a signal to take a break, reduce commitments, or remove tasks from your plate, similar to a car’s warning light.

6. Cultivate Universal Spiritual Qualities

Cultivate spiritual meaning and joy during holidays by focusing on universal qualities like love, humility, service to others, and compassion, which enhance connection and happiness.

7. Separate Spirituality from Religion

Separate the concept of spirituality from religious practice or faith to avoid triggering past religious trauma and to explore a broader sense of meaning.

8. Shift to Gratitude Mindset

Shift your mindset to gratitude during overwhelming holiday gatherings by consciously focusing on what you are thankful for, such as health, togetherness, or past kindnesses.

9. Implement Table Gratitude Ritual

Introduce a gratitude ritual at the dinner table, asking everyone to share one thing they are grateful for, to foster connection, open hearts, and shift focus away from stress or division.

10. Share Gratitude Verbally

Share your gratitude with others, preferably in person or over the phone, as this amplifies the positive effect compared to just internal reflection or text.

11. Seed Gratitude for Positive Spirals

Initiate gratitude early in holiday gatherings to create a virtuous cycle, boosting others’ ability to notice positive aspects and encouraging a collective shift towards joy.

12. Find Awe in Nature

Cultivate awe and wonder by observing nature, such as hummingbirds, trees, the moon, or stars, to find unity and reduce feelings of division or overwhelm.

13. Take Short Nature Walks

Take short walks in nature, even during busy holiday periods or cold weather, to slow down and experience moments of awe and wonder.

14. Give Presence, Not Just Presents

Prioritize giving your presence, fun experiences, and engaging in deep conversations over material gifts, as these foster better feelings and connection.

15. Invent Creative, Low-Cost Rituals

Create alternative, low-cost holiday rituals, like Zoom games, handmade gifts, or poems, to focus on togetherness and connection rather than expensive material items.

16. Gift Framed Photographs

Give framed photographs as gifts, as people rarely print their digital photos, and it’s a thoughtful, inexpensive way to share memories.

17. Prioritize Finances, Cancel if Necessary

If holiday travel or commitments strain your finances, it’s acceptable to cancel to prioritize your financial well-being.

18. Practice Self-Compassion for Gifts

Practice self-compassion when gifts don’t land well, remembering that everyone gives ‘crappy gifts’ sometimes and the thought behind it counts.

19. Delete Email App from Phone

Delete your email app from your phone to reduce the compulsion to constantly check and respond, allowing you to slow down and manage emails at designated times from your computer.

20. Practice “Phone on a Shelf”

Implement the ‘phone on a shelf’ strategy by placing your phone out of your pocket and immediate reach to create friction, reducing interaction and encouraging more present engagement with others.

21. Implement a “Phone Basket”

Create a ‘phone basket’ for family gatherings, asking everyone to place their phones in it, to foster greater connection and mental health by reducing distractions. Communicate this idea beforehand.

22. Plan Dedicated Work Days

Plan specific work days during the holidays to manage tasks and avoid constant work-related interruptions, ensuring dedicated time off.

23. Embrace Re-Gifting

Embrace re-gifting items you’ve received but don’t need, as it’s a practical way to give gifts and reduce waste.

24. Track Re-Gifted Items

If re-gifting, keep a note of who gave you an item to avoid accidentally re-gifting it back to the original giver and potential embarrassment.

25. Develop Grief Rituals

Develop small, personal rituals to connect with loved ones who have passed, especially during nostalgic holiday periods, to process grief.

26. Prioritize Thanks in Thanksgiving

Focus on gratitude and connection during Thanksgiving meals by truly enjoying eating together and connecting over the table, as this is incredibly powerful.