Commit to starting the anger regulation process as soon as you feel the first twinge of frustration, before it escalates into full-blown rage, because once emotions are big, they are much harder to control.
Notice if the emotion you’re dealing with is truly anger alone, or if it’s masking other negative feelings like fear, overwhelm, or sadness, as addressing the underlying emotion is key to effective regulation.
Pay attention to early physical warning signs of anger, such as a tight jaw or raised shoulders, to somatically recognize when something is going on and address it before it gets into a full-blown rage fit.
Use the A-HEN acronym (Anger from Hurt, Expectations Not Met, Needs Not Met) to understand what specifically is causing your anger, which helps in parsing out the underlying emotion and identifying patterns of response.
If your rage is masking grief or sadness, find a way to tend to that sadness, such as crying and mourning, as expressing these underlying emotions can help control extreme anger.
Harness virtues like compassion by trying to feel the sorrow of others, as this psychological check-and-balance can transform brutality into humanity and help regulate intense passions.
Challenge cultural narratives that restrict emotional expression, especially for men, by allowing a wide range of emotions like sadness or hurt to be expressed, validated, and understood, rather than masking them with anger.
Consider prioritizing “eulogy virtues” – the qualities people will remember you for after death – over “resume virtues” like skills, as focusing on legacy and virtue can contribute to greater happiness.
Check out a free version of the “Concepts of the Hero in Greek Civilization” course on Harvard’s edX platform to learn more about Greek heroes and their insights.