Actively control how you represent the world to yourself by framing things as either within or outside your control, as this mindset can be self-fulfilling and reduce the impact of external factors like others’ disapproval.
Regularly challenge every belief and assumption you hold, as per the Socratic method, to gain deeper understanding and avoid being too radical for your peers.
Strive to spend as much time as possible engaging in activities that are good, virtuous, and pleasurable, by cultivating a character that takes pleasure in virtue, leading to lasting spiritual flourishing (eudaimonia).
To achieve practical wisdom and become the person you want to be, consistently practice the virtues you wish to cultivate, as this self-education project builds the desired soul and makes virtuous activities pleasurable.
To cultivate virtues like justice, temperance, or bravery, engage in actions consistent with those virtues, as this practice makes them natural and reinforces the desired behavior.
To achieve deep happiness (eudaimonia), live a moral life by doing nice things for others, fostering strong connections, and engaging in work that provides meaning.
Cultivate virtues by finding the moderate path between two extremes (e.g., bravery between cowardice and recklessness), taking small, incremental steps towards the desired virtue without being overwhelmed.
Practice abstaining from pleasures in small steps to develop temperance, as this habituation makes it easier to continue abstaining and reinforces the virtuous behavior.
Recognize that you have multiple internal parts pulling you in different directions; for flourishing, ensure your passions and desires (the ‘horses’) are controlled and pulling you in your desired direction.
The most effective way to achieve self-control is to proactively design your environment and situations so that you are not even tempted, minimizing the need to expend willpower.
To control the ‘appetite horse’ (physical desires), prioritize avoiding temptations altogether; if avoidance isn’t possible, divert your attention from them, and only as a last resort, rely on willpower.
Physically remove or block access to temptations, such as putting your phone away, turning off Wi-Fi, or not keeping tempting foods in the house, to reduce the need for willpower.
Use pre-commitment strategies to avoid temptation, such as blocking access to tempting stimuli (like blocking ears) or physically restraining yourself from undesirable actions (like tying oneself to a mast).
Make desired actions easier and more automatic by setting up environmental cues, such as placing workout shoes or a gratitude journal where they are visible and accessible.
Control the ‘spirit horse’ (desire for honor, social interaction) by cultivating habits that make desired behaviors natural and pleasurable, as this part of oneself is trainable through argument and explanation.
To train your ‘spirit horse,’ engage in virtuous activities (like gratitude journaling) consistently until they become pleasurable and naturally propel you towards your goals.
Seek out and cultivate friendships based on mutual appreciation of deep values, where friends support and reinforce each other’s commitment to virtuous activities, helping you remain committed to personal growth.
To stick to new virtuous or happiness-enhancing habits (e.g., exercise, meditation), find social support by engaging in these activities with a friend who can reinforce your commitment.
Schedule ‘strength dates’ with a friend to jointly pursue and enhance a specific virtue or strength, as this communal activity can give a nice boost to your well-being.
Create consistent family routines, such as a regular dinner time, to foster connection and make desired social interactions feel natural and automatic rather than a conscious decision.