Engage in empathy by connecting, sharing stories, and actively listening to those with different views to find common ground and potentially be more persuasive, as believing in empathy’s utility makes it effective.
Actively listen in conversations rather than presuming what others think, as our expectations of difficult interactions are often worse than reality and we may be wrong about others’ beliefs or their beliefs about us.
Explicitly practice monotasking by removing distractions like your phone from the room to fully engage in the present moment, as divided attention detracts from positive experiences and memories.
Take time to linger and appreciate low-key, enjoyable experiences, especially when major opportunities are limited, as feeling like you have fewer ‘cool’ things to do can increase savoring of smaller pleasures.
Take deep breaths, look around, and pay attention to the details of what you’re seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, and smelling to get back into your senses and reduce the feeling of being hectic.
Limit taking too many pictures, especially for sharing later, as studies show that documenting events can reliably reduce memory and the quality of the experience itself.
Commit to a ‘phone cleanse’ for a few days as a gift to loved ones, especially if they are annoyed by your phone use, as this can break habits of constant checking and provide valuable undivided attention.
Leverage the desire to help other people by framing personal behavioral changes (e.g., getting off your phone) as a gift or service to them, which can be a powerful nudge to achieve healthier actions.
Proactively schedule and commit to social connections, even subtle ones like traditional shopping trips or work parties, to ensure they happen and prevent missing out on vital social interaction.
Foster relaxed social connection in virtual settings by engaging in a shared activity, like volunteering or a book club, which provides a reason to gather without the pressure of constant conversation.
Allow yourself to be informal during virtual calls, such as cooking or walking around the kitchen, to create a more relaxed atmosphere, allow others to see your real life, and facilitate natural conversations.
When using video calls, either go super casual (like doing other tasks) or introduce high levels of structure, such as an organized game with specific questions, to mitigate the challenges of fluid conversation and potential interruptions.
Reduce bandwidth requirements by prioritizing audio-only calls or minimizing video, as the sense of connection with another person primarily comes from hearing their voice and words, not seeing their physical presence.
Seek out one-on-one deep and meaningful conversations, especially via audio, as people often underestimate how much they will enjoy and benefit from these intimate discussions.
When needing to limit social gatherings (e.g., due to health orders), use a random selection method like drawing names from a hat to choose attendees, which avoids implying social exclusion and acknowledges the difficulty of choices.
When discussing difficult safety decisions like social distancing, frame them as a way to protect other people (e.g., ‘I don’t want you to be sick’) rather than protecting oneself, as this increases willingness to comply.
When making tough safety decisions, emphasize the long-term benefit and the desire to protect loved ones, framing it as an act of care for ‘future us’ to help others understand and accept the temporary sacrifice.
For cherished traditions, especially with children, identify and recreate the necessary core features of the experience to maintain familiarity and a sense of normalcy, even if other aspects are different.
Adapt traditions using available technology, such as Netflix watch parties for movie nights, to maintain a sense of continuity and shared experience during times when in-person gatherings are not possible.
Recreate family traditions by taking on new roles, such as cooking a family recipe yourself, which can create new meaning and maintain connection even if the original person isn’t present.
Allow yourself to mourn the loss of traditions and acknowledge the struggles you’re going through, as it’s okay to not feel okay, and this self-compassion is part of coping.
Practice self-compassion by imagining others suffering in the same way, recognizing that your struggles are part of a common human experience, which can take the ’edge off’ feelings of isolation.
Leverage the ‘happiness reset’ from challenging times by finding greater joy in simpler, less impressive pleasures and experiences, as it becomes easier to derive satisfaction from them.
If you’re not feeling well during stressful times, practice self-acceptance, acknowledging that it’s a common experience and a valid way to treat yourself well.
If a social interaction goes poorly, practice compassion towards others by taking ownership of your part, apologizing for any wrongs, and expressing a desire to improve future interactions to aid recovery.
Complain intentionally and explicitly about losses or frustrations first to get it out of the way, acknowledging the sucky times, and then consciously decide to move on and focus on what’s next.
Use natural ‘fresh start’ moments like the New Year to reset your mindset and move on from negative experiences or habits, viewing it as an opportunity for a clean slate.