Coach yourself through problems by using your own name or the pronoun ‘you’ (e.g., ‘Laurie, you got this’). This switches your perspective, creates psychological distance, and helps you cope more effectively with stress, reducing anxiety and improving performance.
Talk to yourself with the same kindness and care you would show a good friend, especially when making mistakes. This approach reduces stress and anxiety, making it easier to process and learn from errors, ultimately leading to better performance and stronger relationships.
To practice self-compassion, pause long enough to notice and acknowledge your difficult emotions, pain, or distress. This mindfulness allows you to be aware of what you’re feeling and ask what you need in the moment.
When experiencing pain or making mistakes, remind yourself that these struggles are normal and something everybody goes through. This recognition helps combat feelings of isolation and provides a buffer against being overwhelmed by difficulties.
Actively show warmth, encouragement, and friendliness towards yourself, desiring to help yourself be well. This can involve using compassionate self-talk (imagining what a kind friend would say) or physical touch like a self-hug.
When facing frustrating or boring tasks, pretend you are a superhero and use your superhero name to coach yourself (e.g., ‘Come on, Super Laurie, you can do this’). This strategy can significantly boost perseverance and determination, helping you stick with tasks longer.
When preparing for a challenging moment, take a couple of deep breaths before using positive self-talk like ‘You got this.’ This combination helps manage anxiety and prepares you to perform.
Actively demonstrate self-compassionate self-talk and behavior in front of children and others. This modeling helps young people learn to be kinder to themselves earlier in life and encourages others to adopt similar internal dialogues.
In stressful situations, especially when dealing with others, catch your breath and slow your heartbeat before reacting. This allows you to send a different, calmer signal instead of mirroring the distress you might be feeling.
Instead of trying to silence your harsh, self-critical inner voice (chatter), learn to understand and harness it. This approach allows you to use self-talk effectively rather than letting negative thought loops impair your performance and well-being.
Be more intentional about setting boundaries and saying ’no’ to commitments or demands that contribute to overwhelm, as people are often not good at this. This helps manage stress and allows you to show up as your best self.