Develop the ability to be with your everyday thoughts, emotions, and experiences in a healthy way, which allows you to respond effectively to daily situations rather than pushing them aside or letting them control you.
Show up for your difficult emotions non-judgmentally by ending the internal ‘war’ with yourself, recognizing that there’s no right or wrong way to feel, which allows you to craft a way forward with the experience.
Label your emotions accurately and specifically, moving beyond broad terms like ‘stressed’ to identify precise feelings such as disappointment or exhaustion, as this clarity activates your readiness to understand and process the emotion effectively.
Instead of saying ‘I am sad,’ reframe it to ‘I’m noticing that I’m feeling sad’ or ‘I’m noticing that this is my [story/thought],’ which creates healthy space between you and the emotion, allowing you to own it rather than being defined by it.
Inquire about the ‘function’ of your emotions by asking ‘What the funk is this emotion signaling about my needs or my values?’ to use emotions as intended—as data to help you adapt and move forward.
Understand that your emotions contain signposts to what you care about, but they are not commands; this perspective helps you own your emotions so they don’t own you, allowing for wisdom and intention in your response.
Slow down with your difficult emotions and be curious about what they are telling you about your needs or values, while also being compassionate with yourself because ‘it’s hard to human.’
Pay attention to your difficult emotions as they often signpost things that truly matter to you, helping you discern your core values which are the ‘heartbeat of your why’ and qualities of action.
Take 10 minutes to sit down and remind yourself what’s important in your relationships, studies, or career, as this values affirmation is protective against social contagion and helps you stay connected to what matters.
Consciously choose actions every day that move you towards your values, even if uncomfortable, because ‘we stay upright as people with the lives that we want to be living by moving actively towards the things that we care about.’
Accept that ‘discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life’ and develop the ability to be with and learn from uncomfortable emotions, as they signal things you care about and are necessary for growth.
Engage in journaling by ‘writing like no one is reading’ to tell the truth about your experiences and emotions, which helps you face difficult feelings and fosters a ‘secret silent correspondence with your own heart.’
When children experience difficult emotions, hold space for them, help them label their feelings, and connect those feelings to their underlying values (e.g., friendship), which helps them develop their moral compass and character.