Believing that something is possible, even if others think it’s impossible, can make it easier to achieve your goals by enabling you to engage in necessary behaviors and push yourself.
Cultivate a developed social network where your core relationships are embedded within a broader group of people who are invested in supporting your connections, as a thin network is not ideal for well-being.
For heterosexual individuals, having platonic friends of the opposite gender can reduce hostile sexism (for men) and increase the likelihood of forming romantic relationships, fostering better understanding and connection.
While physical attractiveness is potent, confidence, humor, kindness, and responsiveness are also powerful and meaningful predictors of initial attraction, so cultivate these traits.
Effective seduction involves understanding another person’s perspective, anticipating their needs, and acting to help them, while always looking for clear signs of consent.
Recognize that experiences become fully real and meaningful when shared with significant others, as reality is sustained in these conversations and validates your perceptions.
If you can’t share tough, controversial, or sensitive issues with close confidants, consider who else you can confide in, as this is important for processing and understanding your reality.
Demonstrate responsibility and compassion in everyday situations, not just within your relationship, as these qualities are attractive and reveal strong moral character.
In close relationships, be open to aligning your attitudes with your partner’s, especially on issues central to them and when the relationship is important, as this fosters shared understanding and connection.
Establish and adhere to clear boundaries, even when pursuing someone, to demonstrate respect for the other person and for yourself.
Avoid leaving excessive phone messages or showing up uninvited at someone’s house after a breakup, as these actions are generally perceived as unpleasant and can be considered stalking.
Refrain from making ‘forever’ promises or vows in the early stages of a new relationship, as these are high-risk commitments that you may not be in a position to deliver over time.
When suspicious of a loved one, consult close friends or family for advice and external opinions to determine if your concerns are valid or if you’re being paranoid, as this helps in truth-seeking.
Recognize that personal beliefs about close others can be biased; at some point, you must confront reality when your beliefs are no longer sustainable, even if it’s difficult.
For teenagers, be mindful that excessive academic striving and a lack of socialization can contribute to loneliness and a decrease in dating relationships, so prioritize a balanced approach.
Consider first dates that involve interacting with others in a social setting (like a party), rather than just one-on-one ‘resume version’ dating, to observe how a potential partner interacts generally and to foster a more natural connection.
To accelerate romantic connection and intimacy, consider using ‘fast friends’ procedures like asking specific questions or engaging in prolonged eye contact, which can act as disinhibitors.
Understand that while sharing experiences makes them real, certain details (like one’s sex life with parents) might be best kept private in specific relationships, even close ones.