View your own life satisfaction and flourishing as a personal and moral responsibility, as taking care of your well-being provides the necessary bandwidth to effectively help others and contribute to the world.
Adopt the concept of “selffulness,” recognizing that taking care of yourself is intertwined with taking care of others, creating an upward spiral of mutual well-being and happiness.
Actively identify and fight against the “lies” our minds tell us about what makes us happy (e.g., needing more money or changing circumstances), focusing instead on changing behaviors and mindsets.
Actively find time for social connection, even scheduling it if necessary, as studies show happy people tend to be more social, whether through strong ties with friends and family or weak ties like talking to a barista.
Actively practice gratitude and notice delights to counteract hedonic adaptation, which causes us to get used to good things over time, thereby allowing us to continue appreciating positive aspects of life.
To cultivate new habits for happiness, use reminders (e.g., phone alerts, visual cues), engage in repetition, and eventually establish these actions as rituals or second nature.
Understand that training for happiness requires consistent, repeated effort, similar to physical training, rather than one-time actions, to achieve lasting positive effects.
To appreciate what you have and fight hedonic adaptation, imagine what life would be like without something wonderful you currently possess, which can deepen gratitude and appreciation.
Regularly write down a few things you’re grateful for to train your brain to notice positive aspects and blessings, which can improve life satisfaction and positive mood.
Go beyond internal gratitude by actively expressing it to others, as people often don’t realize your appreciation, and this act significantly boosts both their well-being and your own.
Actively savor and appreciate the “miracles” in everyday life, even seemingly trivial ones, by imagining their absence, rather than waiting for a tragic event to highlight their value.
When engaging in gratitude, go beyond just listing items; close your eyes and truly experience the emotion and meaning behind what you’re grateful for, savoring it deeply to combat hedonic adaptation.
Identify and minimize behaviors that interrupt social connection, such as using your phone during dinner or while waiting in line, to avoid missing opportunities for happiness-boosting interactions.
Recognize that small, brief social interactions, like smiling at someone in a grocery line, are easily accessible throughout the day and can significantly contribute to happiness, even if they’re not extensive engagements.
Engage in the simple act of smiling, as it positively affects your inner world and encourages others to smile, creating a cumulative emotional benefit.
Challenge the intuition that social interactions, especially with strangers, will be awkward or unwelcome, as research shows people often enjoy being talked to, and such interactions can boost your happiness.
Don’t shy away from asking for help or showing vulnerability, as the “beautiful mess effect” suggests that appearing a little needy or vulnerable can actually enhance your likability to others.
To reduce loneliness and foster deeper connections, focus on asking follow-up questions that reveal more about others’ values and experiences, going “half a step deeper” than typical small talk.
When discussing difficult topics or political differences, engage in “deep canvassing” by asking others about their experiences of feeling marginalized or not belonging, then actively listen to build connection and understanding before sharing your own perspective.
Engage in practices like meditation and yoga to cultivate mindfulness, which involves being present in the moment in a nonjudgmental way, leading to more positive emotions and contentment.
Engage in practices like “heart meditation” or loving-kindness meditation to cultivate compassion and positive feelings for others, as wishing others well is an effective way to enhance your own happiness.
Actively do nice things for other people and hold positive wishes for them, as these actions are proven to increase your own happiness.
Intentionally incorporate play into your life, engaging in activities purely for intrinsic joy, as it combines social connection, presence, and can significantly reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
Actively seek out and try new fun activities, hobbies, or classes, as engaging in novel experiences can significantly boost your happiness factor and lead to new social connections.
Continue engaging in new happiness practices even if they feel awkward initially, as consistent effort will create neural pathways, making them easier and more natural over time.
As a parent or leader, model the behaviors and emotions you wish to see in others (e.g., sharing delights at dinner), as your actions are contagious and can positively influence those around you, especially children.
When encouraging positive behaviors, especially with young people, share scientific data and evidence rather than simply telling them what to do, allowing them to find their own intrinsic motivation.
Encourage self-discovery and intrinsic motivation in others by presenting information and allowing them to decide to engage in beneficial actions, rather than forcing or rewarding them.
As a parent, openly talk through your emotions, including negative ones, and articulate your coping strategies (e.g., “Mommy is frustrated, so I’m calling my sister”), teaching children emotional vocabulary and healthy responses.
Use stories (personal, historical, or fictional) that convey important lessons and values to children, as narratives are powerful tools for learning about emotions and paths to a flourishing life.
Actively seek out or advocate for “third spaces” (places outside home and work, like community centers or parks) that encourage social interaction with diverse people, making it easier to connect in real life.
Support or implement policies to limit phone use in schools or other shared spaces, as system-wide changes reduce the fear of missing out and make it easier for individuals to engage in real-life social connection.
Encourage engaging in positive alternatives to screen time, such as sports and athletics, which provide social connection, physical health benefits, and resilience, especially for children and teenagers.
Intentionally seek out and notice small, delightful things in your day (e.g., a warm coffee cup, a child’s laughter) to shift your brain’s focus away from its natural negativity bias and improve your mood.