Adopt practical optimism, which is a mindset, skill set, and tool set, to help you deal with the difficult chapters in life by translating positive outlooks into positive outcomes through action. This practice requires consistent effort and work, similar to learning any new skill.
Actively process your emotions in real-time instead of suppressing them, as suppression demands more energy and can manifest as physical symptoms, while real-time processing enhances coping and prevents emotions from overwhelming you.
Regularly perform the ‘Name it, Claim it, Tame it, Reframe it’ exercise by identifying emotional triggers, locating physical sensations, self-soothing with a brief meditation envisioning solutions, and consciously reframing or accepting the situation.
Identify and name the specific antecedents or triggers of your emotions, as developing emotional granularity by putting words to your feelings and their causes is crucial for understanding and addressing underlying issues, improving your ability to recover.
Acknowledge and claim your emotions by observing where they manifest physically in your body, understanding that the body often expresses what the mind cannot through symptoms like tension, headaches, or other physical ailments.
Face ‘forbidden emotions’ like anger directly, and question the negative narratives you construct about their potential outcomes, remembering that 85% of worries never happen and you possess greater resilience than anticipated for the 15% that do.
Interrupt repetitive negative thought patterns by engaging in healthy self-soothing activities that won’t form new negative habits, such as a quick supportive phone call, a one-minute meditation, walking, or a 5-minute stretch, to regain agency and break the cycle.
Practice journaling, ideally in two 10-minute sessions, to unload your thoughts and worries, or use ‘worry journaling’ to identify recurring themes and document your coping strategies, thereby building a sense of mastery and reducing anxiety.
Actively reframe negative situations by exploring alternative perspectives, considering others’ viewpoints, or contextualizing them within your life’s broader plan, which helps you regain control and avoid feeling victimized by circumstances.
When reframing a negative situation is impossible, practice acceptance, understanding it as a position of strength rather than resignation, especially for circumstances beyond your control, as taught in Eastern philosophy.
Actively choose your perspective on life’s events, deciding whether to laugh or cry and how to narrate your story, as this choice directly impacts your experience and overall well-being.
Cultivate the ability to regulate your emotions and actively ask for help when needed, as these are fundamental skills that underpin optimism and contribute to better coping mechanisms and overall mental health.
Build self-efficacy by diligently performing the required work while fostering a strong belief in your ability to achieve your objectives, drawing confidence from personal experiences, learning from role models, receiving feedback, and understanding your own physiological responses.
Perceive personal tragedies and setbacks as opportunities for growth and increased strength, akin to the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where brokenness can lead to enhanced beauty and value beyond the original form.
Address feelings of helplessness by acknowledging them, allowing yourself time to rest and pause, validating your difficult experiences, and then reflecting on lessons learned or potential course corrections to ensure your path aligns with your desires.
Overcome feelings of being stuck by adopting flexibility in your path. ‘Write your purpose in pen, but your path in pencil,’ allowing yourself to be nimble, explore alternative routes to satisfaction, and recognize that giving up on one path isn’t always failure.
Deliberately allow for periods of ‘getting lost’ within safe boundaries, such as during travel or creative endeavors, to foster flexibility, learning, and the discovery of new possibilities beyond pre-planned itineraries.
Actively combat fatigue and burnout by intentionally scheduling rest and leisure as integral parts of your work plan, giving them the same urgency and intention as other tasks. Recognize that rest is not wasteful but essential for sustained performance.
Make sleep a priority by structuring your schedule to ensure 7-9 hours of rest. Work backward from your desired sleep duration to make decisions about commitments, ensuring adequate time for physical and mental replenishment.
Consistently engage in activities that replenish your energy, such as 15-minute naps, 1-minute meditations, or exercise, to make regular ‘deposits into your rest account’ and combat fatigue effectively.
Refrain from using unhealthy behaviors like excessive binge-watching, doom-scrolling, or substance use as a means to avoid or procrastinate negative emotions, as these only delay processing and can lead to greater suffering.
Tackle emotional processing by focusing on one aspect at a time, similar to organizing a single dresser drawer, to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of massive life changes and make the process manageable.
Accept that significant life events will transform you, and rather than attempting to revert to your former self, embrace the new you and critically assess whether your previous ‘baseline’ was truly healthy or contributed to your difficulties.
Integrate gratitude, leisure, rest, self-compassion, proactivity, and actively challenging your thinking into your daily life, recognizing these as essential elements of a comprehensive and healthy optimistic practice.