← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Build The Life You Want from Oprah's Super Soul

Dec 15, 2023 54m 28s 18 insights
<p>Enjoy this episode of another show you might like: the Build the Life You Want <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oprahs-super-soul/id1264843400">Super Soul Podcast</a>. Oprah and Arthur Brooks offer listeners a better understanding of the science behind happiness and why Arthur says, “Happiness is not a destination, happiness is a direction.” Together, they take questions from people across the country who have read <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/724314/build-the-life-you-want-by-arthur-c-brooks-and-oprah-winfrey/">Build the Life You Want</a> and are curious how to apply topics from the book to their own lives. They discuss the “The Four Pillars of Happiness: Faith, Family, Friends and Work that Serves” as well as the power of metacognition which Oprah calls “one of the biggest contributions to people getting happier.” Arthur Brooks explains how using “emotional caffeine” can lead to greater happiness and how having “a better storage of emotions” can block anxiety and depression.</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Define Life’s Meaning & Purpose

To find the essence and purpose of your life, sincerely answer two questions: “Why are you alive?” and “For what are you willing to die today?”

2. Practice Emotional Metacognition

Develop the ability to observe your emotions with intellectual distance, separating yourself from your feelings to gain control over your reactions and choose appropriate responses.

3. Choose Better Emotions (Emotional Caffeine)

When experiencing unwanted emotions, consciously choose and substitute a more appropriate emotion from your repertoire, like making a joke or practicing gratitude, to shift your state.

4. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Regularly write down five things you are grateful for, especially on Sunday nights, to move positive thoughts into your conscious mind, counteract negativity bias, and increase overall happiness.

5. Prioritize True Happiness Pillars

Shift your focus from external idols like money, power, pleasure, and fame to the virtuous pillars of faith, family, friends, and work that serves others for true, science-backed happiness.

6. Embrace Struggle for Satisfaction

Understand that true satisfaction comes from the progress and struggle towards accomplishing a goal, not just the arrival at the goal itself, so embrace the challenging journey.

7. Accept Unhappiness as Normal

Recognize that negative emotions like anxiety and pain are normal and necessary for survival, learning, and growth, rather than viewing them as signs of being broken.

8. Add People & Memories to Pleasure

To transform fleeting pleasure into lasting enjoyment, always add other people you love and consciously create memories during the experience.

9. Make Sharing a Spiritual Habit

Incorporate sharing into your spiritual practice, as life is better when shared and it increases your own enjoyment and the happiness of others.

10. Disrupt Solo Pleasure-Seeking with Love

If you find yourself repeatedly seeking pleasure alone to cope with negative emotions, disrupt this cycle by intentionally adding a loved one to the experience.

11. Analyze Failures, Don’t Ruminate

When something bad happens, analyze it objectively like a scientist to learn and grow from the experience, rather than ruminating on it.

12. Maintain a Failure Journal

Keep a journal to write down and analyze bad experiences or disappointments, using them as opportunities for learning and growth by engaging your executive brain.

13. Leverage Worldly Goals for Love

If you attain worldly goals like money, power, pleasure, or fame, ensure they serve as intermediate steps to enhance your faith, family, friendships, and service to others.

14. Aim for Happier-ness

Understand that happiness is a direction, not a destination, and continuously work towards becoming happier rather than expecting a permanent state of perfect happiness.

15. Walk Before Dawn for Discernment

Get up before dawn and walk for an hour as the sun rises, without devices, to foster discernment, connect with a spiritual element, and gain perspective on your life’s meaning.

16. Walk in Nature, Barefoot

Take walks in nature, possibly barefoot, to experience a profound physiological impact, reduce stress, and connect with a sense of awe and peace.

17. Treat Life as Your Startup

Approach your life with the same seriousness and strategic planning as you would a business startup, managing your internal state like a P&L statement.

18. Support Kabobo Village

Donate a few dollars to givedirectly.org/happiness to provide direct cash assistance to people in Kabobo, Rwanda, allowing them to improve their lives.