Recognize that no emotions are inherently bad; it’s our reactions that matter. Allow yourself to experience all feelings as they are a fundamental part of being human.
Pay attention to your feelings because they serve as vital signals, like pain, indicating that something important is happening or an unmet need exists, prompting you to address it.
Avoid suppressing or running away from scary feelings, as facing them teaches you resilience and the ability to overcome challenges, often with support.
Do not face big feelings alone; talk with others about them to lighten the emotional load, reduce feelings of isolation, and foster a sense of common humanity.
Share your emotions with trusted friends or mentors to gain advice and perspective, a strategy beneficial for both children and adults when navigating challenging feelings.
Openly share your struggles and admit when you don’t have all the answers, as this can build community and release the shame that often makes people feel stuck in their emotions.
Adults should be prepared with strategies to manage their own big feelings, as children observe and learn from how their caregivers react to challenging emotional moments.
For adults, recognize that big emotions like anger or irritability are signals of unmet needs (e.g., lack of sleep, feeling undervalued, needing more help). Use these emotions as clues to identify underlying issues.
If you, as a parent, find your emotional responses are disproportionately large for a situation, slow down and investigate what underlying factors or unmet needs might be contributing to your heightened reaction.
Explicitly teach children strategies for emotional self-regulation as early as possible, as managing big feelings is a critical life skill that impacts relationships, school performance, and mental health.
When children experience big emotions, talk with them about their feelings, validate that it’s okay to feel that way, encourage them to breathe through the emotion, and allow themselves to experience it.
When children experience big emotions, explicitly acknowledge what they are feeling and validate that it is okay for them to feel that way, helping them feel understood.
Help children develop a wide and detailed emotional vocabulary by suggesting specific labels for their feelings (e.g., “sad,” “frustrated,” “disappointed”), which can reduce the intensity of the emotion.
Practice emotional coping strategies before you experience an intense emotional attack, ensuring you are prepared and know how to access and use them effectively when needed.
Create a personal “toolbox” of strategies to manage your emotions, ensuring you are equipped to handle challenging moments and serve as a role model for children.
Assemble an “emotional weather coping kit” with items like a stress ball, Play-Doh, favorite scents (lotion/candle), a puzzle book, or a cherished photo to use when big feelings strike, helping to regulate emotions through sensory engagement.
Practice deep belly breaths to dial down stress and calm big feelings, as slow breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a rest and digest state.
Focus on your breath to slow down physiological responses like increased heart rate and tension, which can lead to greater clarity and reduce feelings of overwhelm during big emotions.
Engage in light physical activity, such as dancing or walking, to help regulate big feelings, as moving your body can make you feel more grounded and less emotionally volatile.
When overwhelmed by a big emotion, apply cold therapy by running your wrists under cold water or holding an ice cube, as the physical sensation can distract your brain from emotional distress.
Create a Glitter Jar (water, glue, glitter in a sealable jar) and shake it when big feelings arise; watching the glitter settle provides a focal point, a moment to pause, and physiologically calms the body.
Use the 5-4-3-2-1 game to shift focus from overwhelming emotions to your senses by listing five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.