← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Anyone Can Play, Anyone Can Win (Cornholing with Michelle Hastie Thompson)

Jul 14, 2025 32m 59s 21 insights
<p>How do you put your life back together after your home and your neighborhood's been destroyed in a wildfire? By tossing beanbags at a hole? That's what Michelle Hastie Thompson did.&nbsp;</p> <p>Michelle ("Cornhole Meesh") loves the backyard game of cornholing - and uses it to help her relax, share time with her loved ones, and meet new people. So what can cornholing teach Dr Laurie about happiness?</p> <p>Find more about Michells's work at <a href="https://www.cornholemeesh.com/">https://www.cornholemeesh.com/</a></p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Build Strong Relationships

Actively build and maintain strong social relationships, as they are the single biggest predictor of long-term mental and physical health.

2. Cultivate a Third Place

Seek out and regularly engage with a ’third place’ (a community space outside of home and work) to form diverse relationships and build a serious community in your life.

3. Actively Build Community

Participate in community-based activities to create strong support networks that can assist members during tough times and foster a deep sense of belonging.

4. Integrate Play and Hobbies

Prioritize integrating play, hobbies, and social activities into your life to combat stress, avoid obsession with external factors (like body image), and find soulful fulfillment.

5. Embrace a Growth Mindset

Believe in your ability to improve over time, especially when supported by a community that encourages learning and acknowledges small, immediate changes.

6. Don’t Over-Interpret Mistakes

Practice not assigning excessive negative meaning to mistakes or minor setbacks, as this prevents spiraling into self-criticism and improves performance and overall well-being.

7. Challenge Cognitive Distortions

Recognize and challenge irrational thoughts like jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing, or all-or-nothing thinking, understanding that your brain might be creating unfounded worries.

8. Channel Competition Healthily

Find a dedicated, contained outlet for competitive drive (like a hobby or sport) to channel intense ambition in a healthy way, preventing it from becoming toxic and consuming other areas of life.

9. Share Hobbies with Loved Ones

Participate in ‘side-by-side’ activities or shared hobbies with family and partners to foster conversation, connection, and quality time.

10. Practice Presence for Performance

Cultivate presence and body awareness to achieve peak performance in accuracy-based activities, as physiological changes due to a lack of presence can negatively impact results.

11. Choose Effective Fun Activities

Select fun activities that are social, physical, and slightly thrilling to effectively reduce stress and get out of your head, rather than relying on passive screen time.

12. Overcome Social Anxiety

Participate in structured social activities (e.g., those with rotating partners) to overcome social anxiety, as the built-in interaction in a low-stakes environment makes connecting easier.

13. Initiate New Communities

If a desired community or activity doesn’t exist in your area, take the initiative to create it yourself to meet your social needs and those of others.

14. Use Activities to Break Ice

Employ interactive activities like cornhole to break the ice and facilitate natural conversation when meeting new people or bonding with friends.

15. Prioritize Emergency Essentials

In an emergency, quickly grab essential documents, valuables from a safe, and irreplaceable sentimental items, leaving non-critical possessions behind.

16. Seek Inclusive Activities

Choose activities that are inclusive and welcome people of all ages, physical abilities, and backgrounds, fostering a more diverse and accepting community.

17. Start Low-Barrier Hobbies

Opt for hobbies or sports with low barriers to entry (inexpensive equipment, easy to learn) to encourage participation and make them accessible to a wider range of people.

18. Apply Psychology to Performance

Apply psychological principles like mindfulness, breathing, and addressing limiting beliefs to improve performance in slow-paced, accuracy-based activities.

19. Value Small Skill Tweaks

Pay attention to small adjustments or tips when learning a new skill, as even minor tweaks can lead to rapid improvement and boost motivation.

20. Distinguish Play Styles

Differentiate between playing for pure relaxation (e.g., with alcohol) and playing to compete, understanding that competitive play demands presence and a flow state.

21. Find Local Cornhole Clubs

To get started with cornhole, use ACL.com to find local events, check the ‘Addicted to Cornhole’ forum for clubs, or build your own boards and bags on a budget.