Devote dedicated “workouts” to improving your inner self-talk to strengthen self-compassion, which can significantly reduce stress, improve performance, and increase happiness.
Relate to yourself like a good friend who wants you to succeed and take action aligned with your goals, rather than being mean or critical.
Be kind and encouraging towards yourself, as research shows self-compassion is more strongly associated with motivation to improve than self-criticism.
Understand that strengthening your self-talk requires hard work, repeated training, and commitment, but improvements can be seen surprisingly quickly.
Engage in self-talk techniques during regular, non-stressful times so that these resources are readily available and easier to access when difficult moments arise.
Practice mindfulness and compassion by noticing when your mind wanders during meditation and gently redirecting without judgment, as these “reps” train your brain to be less self-critical over time.
Start self-talk workouts simply by taking one intentional breath and repeating something kind to yourself, like “Inhale my friend, exhale my friend,” to reduce stress and interrupt negative rumination.
Counteract self-criticism by noticing and acknowledging 10 small things you’ve done each day, no matter how minor, that contributed positively to yourself, others, or the world, to shift your perspective.
Actively cultivate curiosity as a mental habit to soften judgments and achieve a healthier inner voice, providing an alternative to habitual negative rumination.
Practice cultivating curiosity by identifying 10 things in your current environment that you haven’t noticed before, focusing on neutral observations to train your mind to observe without judging.
In difficult or boring moments, intentionally shift your attention to notice neutral details in your environment (e.g., textures, sounds) to help endure suffering and provide an alternative to rumination.
Approach all your feelings with the perspective of a kind, caring witness, allowing them without suppression or being completely submerged, by noticing and caring for yourself simultaneously.
When experiencing a difficult moment, use Kristen Neff’s self-compassion break: 1) Acknowledge the suffering, 2) Remind yourself it’s part of being human, and 3) Ask “How can I support myself in this moment?” to cultivate a caring attitude.