← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Your Meditation Questions, Answered!

Dec 27, 2017 52m 46s 36 insights
We close out the year by hearing from you, our loyal listeners! We recently set up a voicemail where listeners left questions for our host Dan Harris and he answers a selection of them that range from how to start a practice, how to tell your friends it's not "weird" to meditate and how to afford retreats. Dan's new book, "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics: A 10% Happier How-To Book," is on sale Dec. 26.
Actionable Insights

1. Accept Habit Inconsistency

Understand that creating long-term healthy habits like meditation is naturally difficult, and it’s okay to start and stop; view it as a process of experimentation.

2. Apply Meditation Spirit to Habits

Bring the same spirit of noticing distraction and gently restarting from your meditation practice to the process of establishing a new habit, accepting that starting and failing is part of the game.

3. Experiment with Habit Anchoring

Approach habit formation as an ongoing process of experimentation to find what truly works for integrating it into your life.

4. Embrace Distraction in Meditation

In mindfulness meditation, the goal is to notice when your mind wanders or you get distracted, and then gently bring your attention back to your breath, repeating this process.

5. Don’t Suppress Inner Voice

Do not try to preemptively stop or eradicate the ’talking mind’ or ’evil twin’ internally, as attempting to suppress internal experiences is generally ineffective.

6. Observe Inner Voice Without Engagement

Cultivate a different relationship with your inner critic by noticing its presence without being consumed by it; simply observe it, let it play out, and then refocus your attention on the present moment.

7. Aim for Marginal Improvement

When working on internal processes like managing your inner voice, understand that the goal is not perfection but rather consistent, marginal improvement over time.

8. Practice Self-Compassion for Failure

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break when you inevitably fail to meet your goals, as failure is a natural part of the learning and improvement process.

9. Leverage Perceived Benefits

Instead of relying on willpower, identify and focus on the felt benefits of a habit (like feeling happier from meditation) to motivate yourself and pull you forward.

10. Start with Low Bar Meditation

To re-establish a meditation habit, set a low bar by aiming for just one minute a day, most days, as this approach is effective for consistent practice.

11. One Minute Daily-ish Meditation

If time is limited, even one minute of meditation counts, and aiming for ‘daily-ish’ practice rather than strictly every day can be an effective way to establish the habit.

12. Aim for 5-10 Minutes Daily

A consistent habit of five to ten minutes of meditation daily is often sufficient to derive many of the advertised benefits, according to neuroscientists.

13. Personalize Your Meditation Practice

Understand that the optimal duration and frequency of meditation are individual; experiment to discover what dosage and approach work best for you.

14. Micro-Awakenings from Autopilot

Recognize that even a single second can be enough to ‘wake up’ from autopilot mode and become present, interrupting the trance that often governs daily life.

15. Formal Practice for Real-Life Insight

Engage in formal meditation practice to enhance your ability to observe your internal processes, enabling you to apply these insights in real-life situations and conversations.

16. Name Inner Neurotic Programs

Consider naming your inner neurotic programs or critical voices (e.g., ’evil twin’) to depersonalize them, which can help you take them less seriously.

17. Cultivate Indifference to External Opinion

Understand that a long-term benefit of consistent meditation is a diminished concern for what others think of you, allowing for greater freedom and authenticity.

18. Integrate Mindfulness and Compassion

Practice both mindfulness and compassion meditation, as they are complementary techniques that historically have been taught together and enhance each other’s benefits.

19. Practice Compassion Meditation Phrases

Engage in compassion meditation by systematically envisioning yourself and others, then mentally repeating phrases such as ‘May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you live with ease, may you be safe and protected from harm.’

20. Highlight Selfish Benefits of Compassion

To encourage the adoption of compassion, emphasize the scientific evidence demonstrating that compassionate individuals are often more successful, happier, and healthier, appealing to self-interest.

21. Adopt “How Can I Help?” Mindset

Cultivate an overarching attitude of ‘How can I help?’ when approaching life and others’ problems, as this shifts you into an active, empowering mode rather than being overwhelmed.

22. Show Up for Suffering Friends

When friends or family are suffering, prioritize simply ‘showing up’ and being present, even if it’s uncomfortable, as your presence can be profoundly helpful.

23. Introduce Meditation Gently in Workplace

When introducing meditation in a corporate environment, offer it gently as an available resource without making it an expectation, as proselytizing can be counterproductive.

24. Avoid Lecturing Spouses on Meditation

When trying to introduce meditation to a spouse, avoid lecturing or pressuring them, as this approach can be counterproductive and guarantee they won’t adopt the practice.

25. Seek External Help for Obstacles

If a loved one faces obstacles to starting meditation, consider seeking guidance from an experienced teacher who can help reframe the practice and tailor it to their specific life circumstances.

26. Join Group for Habit Cohesion

For some individuals, joining a meditation group or creating a sitting group can be an effective way to solidify the habit due to social cohesion and a sense of obligation to others.

27. Cultivate Meditating Friendships

Actively seek out and befriend others who practice meditation, as these friendships can normalize the practice, enhance your commitment, and provide positive peer pressure.

28. Retreats Are Not Mandatory

Understand that attending a meditation retreat is not a requirement to be a successful meditator, and it’s perfectly fine if you choose not to do one.

29. Access Affordable Meditation Retreats

If interested in retreats but concerned about cost, inquire about financial aid or work programs at places like the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) or Spirit Rock, as they strive to make retreats accessible.

30. Cite Aspirational Meditators

When facing stigma or teasing about meditation, point to successful and aspirational figures (e.g., athletes, celebrities, executives) who practice it to normalize the activity.

31. Explain Meditation’s Scientific Benefits

When explaining meditation to others, highlight its scientific benefits such as increased calmness, focus, reduced emotional reactivity, and enhanced compassion, which can lead to greater success and happiness.

32. Connect Music and Mindfulness

Recognize that playing music in a ‘flow state’ is akin to meditation, as it naturally diminishes mental chatter and anchors you fully in the present moment of the song.

33. Utilize Mindful Schools Resource

For teachers interested in bringing mindfulness to students, explore Mindful Schools, a San Francisco-based nonprofit that trains educators to teach meditation in the classroom.

34. Engage HR for Corporate Mindfulness

If you’re not in a leadership position, approach your HR department to discuss and gain support for introducing mindfulness activities in your corporate setting.

35. Consult Institute for Mindful Leadership

For resources on implementing mindfulness in a corporate setting, consider consulting the Institute for Mindful Leadership, which trains leaders to meditate and spread the practice.

36. Explore Sam Harris’s “Waking Up”

For further exploration of meditation and related topics, consider reading Sam Harris’s book ‘Waking Up’ or listening to his ‘Waking Up’ podcast.