Identify the specific trigger (e.g., feeling anxious), the behavior (e.g., worrying, stress eating), and the result (e.g., temporary relief, feeling worse) of your anxiety. This helps you understand the cause-and-effect relationship and see how worrying ultimately makes you more anxious.
When you find yourself in an anxiety habit loop, ask yourself: ‘What am I getting from this?’ This inquiry helps you recognize if the behavior is truly serving you or if it’s adding to your problems, leading to disenchantment and making it easier to break the cycle.
Instead of getting caught in worrying, bring curiosity to your experience. Ask ‘What does this anxiety or worrying feel like in my body right now?’ as the act of exploration itself can feel better than worrying and help you step out of the habit loop.
Recognize that ’the only way out is through’ when dealing with anxiety. Practice opening to, allowing, and accepting your thoughts, emotions, and sensations as much as possible, which prevents feeding the anxiety and allows resistance to dissipate.
When feeling anxious or closed down, actively practice kindness or self-compassion. This could involve a gentle self-touch or kind self-talk, as these actions help you open to your experience, which feels better than the contracted state of anxiety.
In challenging moments, prioritize self-care by asking yourself ‘What do I need right now?’ rather than focusing on what you merely want to do. This self-compassionate inquiry guides you to make choices that truly support your well-being.
When you notice yourself engaging in self-judgment (e.g., ‘I should have done that’), ask ‘What am I getting from this?’ and then apply an act of self-compassion, such as a reassuring touch or kind self-talk, to break the cycle.
When stuck in anxiety, try placing a hand on your chest, talking to yourself like a good friend, and reminding yourself that your struggles are a universal human experience. These techniques can help counter negativity and foster self-support.
When faced with uncertainty or the ‘oh no’ feeling, recognize it as a closed-down state and flip on a ‘curiosity switch.’ Approach changes with freshness, asking ‘How can I bring curiosity to this?’ to lighten the experience and avoid getting stuck in worry.
Understand that while initial pain or difficulty is inevitable (the ‘first arrow’), the subsequent worrying, rumination, and self-judgment (the ‘second arrow’) are completely optional. By recognizing what is optional, you can avoid wasting energy on unhelpful mental habit loops.
When overwhelmed by intense anxiety, use grounding practices by observing external surroundings (e.g., objects in a room, people, nature) or by focusing on anxiety-free zones in your body like your hands or feet. This draws awareness away from spinning thoughts and helps your prefrontal cortex come back online.
If you feel anxiety despite practices like meditation, check for resistance (e.g., ‘This shouldn’t be happening’). Awaken curiosity by asking ‘Am I resisting my experience right now?’ and ‘What can I learn about myself from this resistance?’
During a panic attack, observe and mentally ’note’ the sensations and thoughts (e.g., ‘racing heart,’ ‘feeling like I’m going to die’) without getting caught up in them. This practice helps you observe the experience and builds confidence in your ability to be with it.
Instead of resisting panic, approach it with acceptance by ‘holding your arms wide’ and offering yourself a loving, kind embrace, acknowledging ‘oh, it’s okay.’ This mindset, combined with noting, helps you be with the experience rather than fueling the fear of future attacks.
When in a panicky situation, resist the instinct to flail and instead relax, allowing yourself to conserve energy and naturally navigate the moment. This applies to mental panic as well, trusting that intense sensations will eventually pass.
While exposure to fears can be helpful, avoid pushing yourself too hard, as this can be counterproductive and potentially re-traumatizing. Listen to your body and mind, and know when to pull back and prioritize self-care.
Recognize that practices like curiosity and kindness cannot be forced; striving to achieve them can be counterproductive. Instead, cultivate a gentle, open approach to allow them to unfold naturally within your experience.
Avoid ’throwing too much’ at anxiety in an effort to make it disappear, as this resistance can paradoxically make it persist. Excessive effort indicates a lack of acceptance and can create a wall against your experience.
Instead of viewing anxiety as an enemy, approach it with openness and curiosity, asking ‘What can I learn from this?’ This perspective can transform anxiety into an opportunity for personal growth and self-compassion.
Practice kindness towards others, nature, or yourself, and then reflect on the positive feelings it generates. This builds a ‘memory bank’ of kindness that you can draw upon when feeling anxious to hit the pause button on anxiety loops.
To manage stage fright, prepare extensively for public speaking engagements, even if it means having notes readily available. Thorough preparation builds confidence and can make your delivery appear effortless.
For public speaking anxiety, consider using a non-narcotic beta blocker like Propranolol (after consulting a doctor). It can put a ceiling on your heart rate, significantly reducing physical panic symptoms like a racing heart.
When experiencing physical signs of anxiety (e.g., racing heart, sweating palms), tell yourself that your body is preparing you to act, rather than interpreting them as signs of danger. This cognitive reframing can prevent a full-blown fight-or-flight response.
Recognize that excitement, while stimulating, often leads to a crash and restlessness, which is not true happiness. Compare this to the calm and peace of genuine joy to identify what truly feels like a ‘bigger, better offer’ for your well-being.
Since anxiety and excitement share similar physiological responses, apply the same mindfulness practices—bringing curiosity to thoughts, noting body sensations, and observing urges—to work with both states effectively.