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You Don't Have to be Miserable While Doing Important Work | adrienne maree brown

May 30, 2022 1h 14m 43 insights
<p>Our culture has oddly conflicting views about pleasure. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode, author adrienne maree brown explores the importance of pleasure and how it changes your experience of the world. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>adrienne maree brown is the writer-in-residence at the Emergent Strategy Ideation Institute, and author of <a href="https://www.akpress.org/grievers.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Grievers</a> (the first novella in a trilogy on the Black Dawn imprint), <a href="https://www.akpress.org/holding-change-preorder.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Holding Change: The Way of Emergent Strategy Facilitation and Mediation</a>, <em>We Will Not Cancel Us and Other Dreams of Transformative Justice</em>, <em>Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good</em>, <em>Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds</em> and the co-editor of <em>Octavia's Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements</em> and <em>How to Get Stupid White Men Out of Office</em>. She is the cohost of the <a href="https://www.endoftheworldshow.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>How to Survive the End of the World</em></a>, <a href="http://www.readingoctavia.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Octavia's Parables</em></a> and <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emergent-strategy-podcast/id1553479340" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Emergent Strategy</em></a> podcasts. adrienne is rooted in Detroit.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation we talked about:</p> <ul> <li>What is pleasure activism</li> <li>The role of sex and drugs</li> <li>Why we should say yes more</li> <li>How to be in touch with our sense of "enough"</li> <li>The role of gratitude </li> <li>The line between commitment and detachment</li> <li>How she defines authentic happiness</li> <li>Her self-description as "a recovering self-righteous organizer," and why self-righteousness actually leads to powerlessness</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: Discussions of sex and drugs. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adrienne-maree-brown-458" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adrienne-maree-brown-458</a></p> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Transform Self, Transform World

When you get angry at something in the world, examine where that same issue (e.g., warmongering, punitive nature) might still be alive within yourself, in addition to making outward efforts.

2. Define Pleasure Internally

Learn to feel from within what actually gives you pleasure and satisfaction, rather than relying on external definitions, to find personal liberation.

3. Learn What ‘Enough’ Is

Cultivate a constant practice of understanding what ’enough’ means for you to avoid constant accumulation and the ‘wheel of labor’ driven by external desires.

4. Listen to Body’s Wisdom

Respect your body as a source of deep wisdom and knowing, allowing its data (e.g., gut feelings, intuition) to guide you towards pleasure, delight, authenticity, and accountability.

5. Use Your ‘No’ for ‘Yes’

Learn to say ’no’ to things that suck up your time, energy, or don’t align with your true desires, thereby creating literal and energetic space for what you genuinely want to say ‘yes’ to.

6. Let Your ‘Yes’ Guide Work

Identify what produces a ‘yes’ in your system—what brings you joy, makes you feel meaningful, and purposeful—and let that guide your career and work choices throughout your life.

7. Attain Authentic Happiness

Strive for authentic happiness that is not temporary gratification or caused by harming others, as this genuine contentment lights up others and creates a positive model for the world.

8. Pay Attention to What Grows

Be mindful of where you direct your attention, as ‘what you pay attention to grows,’ and consciously align your attention with your values and the world you wish to co-create.

9. Be with Feelings Mindfully

Practice not trying to control feelings, but rather feeling and being with them, viewing them as data rather than a crisis, to find liberation in your emotional experience.

10. Meditate Daily (Short Sits)

Integrate daily meditation, often in several short periods throughout the day, to cultivate quiet, inward turning, and mindfulness in your life.

11. Practice Mindful Eating

Tune into what ’enough’ feels like in your body while eating, distinguishing between your mind’s desires and your body’s signals of satisfaction to heal disordered eating patterns.

12. Define Body as Sovereign

Internalize that your body is your sovereign and sacred territory, and you alone determine who you share it with and what you do with it, empowering you to set boundaries and experience pleasure.

13. Practice Self-Pleasure First

Prioritize getting to know your own body, its worth, magic, and possibilities through self-exploration and curiosity before you are expected to share it with anyone else.

14. Cultivate Erotic Aliveness

Identify and cultivate experiences that make you feel most alive, fully present, and connected to your whole self, such as playing with kids, working out, music, or deep friendships.

15. Prioritize Presence (Erotic)

Practice being fully present in the moment, feeling it at the level of your nerves and cellular structure, as a way to understand and experience the erotic in all aspects of life.

16. Speak Up Honestly

Be more honest about what you need and what’s impacting you, especially things you don’t want to participate in, to unblock your own pleasure and improve relationships.

17. Move Past Intention to Impact

Assume good intention but actively attend to the actual impact of your actions and words on people, especially in power dynamics, to foster responsible interactions.

18. Practice Awareness for Trust

When building trust, be prepared for slow, deliberate work initially, paying close attention to relationships, as this foundational effort leads to faster, more efficient progress later.

19. Shift Leadership Mindset

Leaders should embrace social responsibility and actively labor to foster healthy, communicative relationships within their group or team, rather than abdicating this responsibility as they gain power.

20. Engage Cross-Difference Relationships

Rewire your system and challenge biases by intentionally being in relationships with people who look, were raised, and hold different beliefs than you.

21. Examine Your Biases

Cultivate curiosity about what you were shaped to think about other people, who you were told to trust or not trust, and what bodies are considered human or deserving of humane treatment.

22. Awaken Your Embodiment

Engage in practices like yoga, Aikido, or self-guided embodiment training to feel your body from within outward, gaining data on your biases and building trust with your body.

23. Structure Work for Pleasure

Structure your work life to only work with people you deeply respect, adore, and trust, and delegate tasks that do not bring you the utmost pleasure, allowing you to focus on what you love.

24. Ensure Fair Living Wages

As a leader or founder, ensure every team member earns a fair living wage that allows them to live abundant, good lives, and consider not making more than anyone on your team.

25. Commit, Then Detach

Pour yourself deeply into your work and practice, but relinquish control over the outcomes, trusting that doing your best work mindfully will ultimately yield better results.

26. Focus on Mindful Practice

When doing any work, focus on performing the practice mindfully and devotedly, rather than on expected outcomes, to allow truth and better work to emerge.

27. Embrace Experimentation

Approach work and change with a spirit of experimentation and adaptation, rather than declaration and dictation, to effectively respond when things aren’t working as expected.

28. Add Celebration to Teamwork

Intentionally add celebration to team spaces, such as dance breaks after making decisions, to build trust, camaraderie, and make hard work more pleasurable.

29. Tune into Satisfaction

Learn to feel satisfaction internally to discern true victories and avoid settling for ‘false solutions’ in your efforts to change the world or achieve goals.

30. Get Back into Nakedness

Practice getting back into relationship with your own skin and body, including nakedness, to discern feelings and reconnect with your physical self.

31. Study Somatics

Engage in the study of somatics to learn how to discern and handle feelings in the body, viewing them as valuable data rather than overwhelming crises.

32. Ask ‘What Shape Works?’

In group settings, actively ask what architecture, governance structures, or approaches would work for the majority to ensure broader participation and inclusion.

33. Calculate Your Needs Tangibly

Sit down and tangibly figure out your life costs, including rent, insurance, travel, and a ‘pleasure budget,’ to understand your actual financial needs and avoid panic working.

34. Practice ‘One In, Two Out’

When acquiring something new, make a practice of getting rid of two existing items to maintain a sense of ’enoughness’ and prevent constant accumulation.

35. Say ‘No’ to Ego Stroking

Decline offers that primarily stroke your ego but do not align with your true ‘yes,’ even if they are exciting or prestigious opportunities.

36. Surrender to Unique Calling

Recognize that there is something you are uniquely suited for and surrender to that calling, rather than being swayed by what other people want to use you for.

37. Use Drugs Responsibly

If using drugs, consider the drug, your mindset, and the physical setting, ensuring safety and clear intention, as learned from harm reduction principles.

38. Avoid Drugs for Mind-State

Do not use drugs or alcohol to shift a sad or depressed mind state; instead, sit with the feeling, meditate, or use other self-reflection tools to understand what’s happening.

39. Use Drugs for Presence

Use medicines (drugs) for physical pain relief or relaxation with the intention of becoming more present and attuned, rather than for numbing or escape.

40. Practice Radical Gratitude

Cultivate specific and detailed gratitude for people and circumstances, recognizing that gratitude is directly tied to abundance and helps you recognize when you’re in a state of abundance.

41. Offer Specific Gratitude

Actively offer specific and detailed gratitude to the people around you, especially those who work with you or make your life go, to foster connection and recognize abundance.

42. Demystify Joy

Actively work to understand and share the nature of joy, making it accessible and understandable for others, as part of your life’s purpose.

43. Invite People to Practice

Instead of arguing about ideas, invite people to practice them, trusting that direct experience will demonstrate their effectiveness and lead to personal shifts.