Actively find ways to work with your difficult inner parts and aspects of your inner repertoire, rather than allowing these ‘demons’ to control you.
In any situation, good or bad, ask yourself, “How can this be in the service of awakening?” This question makes your practice “all terrain” and provides a sturdy way to engage with the world and yourself unconditionally.
Stop taking fears, anger, and other difficult emotions personally, instead viewing them through a lens like “Mara” (mind appearing real again) to understand they are not unique personal failings.
Recognize that self-hatred is not a viable or effective strategy for personal improvement; if it were going to work, it would have already.
When difficult internal energies arise, focus on two things: how you respond to their presence and what you choose to align yourself with (e.g., heart qualities over negative whispers).
When experiencing difficult feelings, respond with heart qualities like care and act as an empathetic witness to the physical sensations, without taking them personally or disavowing them.
Act as an empathetic witness for your own internal experiences, holding yourself with the same love and care you would offer to anyone you cherish, rather than exiling or destroying difficult parts.
Access compassion by stopping the search for fault or blame, instead acknowledging that “this just hurts” and allowing yourself to be with that hurt as you would with someone you love.
Use the experience of unconditional love for someone else (like a child) as a guide to react to your own internal suffering with the same beautiful and welcoming care.
When faced with negative internal whispers, choose to align yourself with even a small amount more of a positive heart quality (like love, kindness, or compassion) than what the negativity offers.
Instead of trying to escape stress, approach it with curiosity to understand what lies beneath the energy, what it’s pointing at, and what it’s trying to bring to your attention.
Adopt the perspective that all human behavior is either an act of love or a call for love, which helps slow down reactions and allows you to meet others’ needs with understanding.
When you’ve reacted poorly to a child, apologize and engage with tenderness to interrupt cycles of anger and fear, choosing vulnerability over power struggles.
Take ultimate responsibility for your response to suffering, recognizing that while you may not control what arises, you do control how you engage with it.
Cultivate a willingness to release stubborn attachment to your suffering, which can lead to less internal tightness and fewer corrosive feelings.
When struggling, place a hand on your heart and internally tell yourself, “This is hard. It’s okay. I got you,” to provide self-comfort and reassurance.
When you hit rock bottom and feel desperate, cultivate a willingness to try anything new, as this openness can lead to life-changing shifts and opportunities for help.
If you find a path to recovery, commit to it wholeheartedly, attending regularly and engaging in service roles, especially when feeling there’s no other way to live.
If a recovery path mentions spiritual practices like prayer and meditation, actively explore what they mean and how to engage with them, as this can lead to deeper transformation.
If your current environment no longer supports your desired identity or growth, consider a significant change of scenery to foster new connections and perspectives.
Identify a practice or path that deeply resonates with you and commit to it as a central focus for your life, as this can become a pivotal point for profound change.
Actively explore different spiritual circles and practices (e.g., chanting, sitting with priests, Sufi gatherings) to discover what genuinely resonates with your heart and provides a sense of wholeness.
Look for a structured spiritual or life path that feels complete and allows for all parts of yourself to be present, rather than trying to conform to an external idea of “goodness.”
Understand that meditation is a slower, more sustainable path to transformation, not an instant fix, and it helps avoid leaving a path of destruction behind.
When you find something that genuinely helps alleviate your suffering, share that knowledge and those tools with others, particularly those experiencing similar struggles.