← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Yael Shy, Helping College Students Fight Stress and FOMO

Jan 24, 2018 1h 8m 19 insights
<p>Yael Shy, the author of "What Now? Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond," says she came to meditation from "a lot of suffering" as a student at New York University in 2001 -- the same year the World Trade Center towers fell near her New York City dorm during the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Today, Shy helps college students tackle stress, anger and FOMO (fear of missing out) around academics, relationships, sex and social media in her role as the senior director of NYU Global Spiritual Life and the founder and director of MindfulNYU.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Utilize RAIN for Emotions

Use the RAIN practice (Recognize, Allow/Accept, Inquire, Nourish/Non-Identify) as a mechanism for processing and working with very powerful emotions, especially when ambushed by them.

2. R: Recognize Emotion

When ambushed by a strong emotion, recognize and name it clearly (e.g., ‘I’m feeling jealous’), identifying the underlying feeling if possible, rather than ignoring or mislabeling it.

3. A: Allow/Accept Emotion

After recognizing an emotion, allow or accept its presence without fighting it, acknowledging that it is happening and feeling it in your body.

4. I: Inquire into Emotion

Inquire into the emotion by noticing where and how it manifests in your body (e.g., tension, stomach feeling) and gently asking what’s underneath it or what it wants to teach you.

5. N: Nourish Yourself

Conclude the RAIN practice by nourishing yourself; ask what you can do for yourself right now to be healing or soften the experience, such as sitting and breathing, getting water, or taking space.

6. Question Internal Narratives

Use meditation to observe and question internal negative narratives and programming, especially those from childhood or societal influences, to heal from limiting beliefs and move forward.

7. Pause Before Phone Use

Before reaching for your phone, pause and observe the underlying feeling (e.g., loneliness, uncertainty) to understand your impulse and potentially address the feeling directly before going online.

8. Interrupt Social Comparison

When caught in social comparison, pause, close your eyes, and imagine feeling completely okay, beautiful, and lovable just as you are, to interrupt the endless feeling of not being enough.

9. Observe Comparing Mind

When engaging in comparison, simply observe the comparing mind, acknowledge it as human, forgive yourself, and try not to believe its reality, recognizing interconnectedness.

10. Ease All Suffering

Engage in meditation with the ultimate goal of easing suffering, not just your own, but all the suffering of the whole world.

11. Train Mental Skills

View mindfulness practice as a way to train and incrementally improve mental qualities like focus, compassion, self-awareness, and mindfulness over time.

12. Mindful Conversation Practice

In conversations, practice feeling your own emotions while simultaneously being present with the other person, discerning your own projections from what is truly happening in real-time.

13. Men: Sit with Discomfort

Men should learn to mindfully sit with strong feelings of discomfort, rejection, or shame, and the underlying psychological factors related to desire, to prevent harmful actions.

14. Men: Understand Desire

Men should learn to understand and mindfully sit with desire and its associated feelings, preventing impulsive or harmful actions driven by unexamined internal states.

15. Differentiate Desire & Grasping

Differentiate between natural human desire and grasping; aim to feel desire as a powerful, beautiful emotion without immediately turning it into clinging or suffering.

16. Acknowledge Hidden Desires

Recognize that fear can often mask underlying desires; practice acknowledging what you truly want, rather than staying in the easier state of fear.

17. Practice Sabbath Mindfulness

Observe the Sabbath as a form of mindfulness retreat, focusing on being with the world as it is, without creating new things or participating in the economic machine.

18. Use Meditation for Pain

Use meditation to cope with physical pain, even if you don’t have chronic pain, as it offers a different way to address it.

19. Explore New Podcasts

Check out other podcasts, especially those mentioned by Dan, if you are looking for new content to enjoy.