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Wise Selfishness | Part 3 of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness

Jan 4, 2023 33m 14s 9 insights
<p>How can we get better at selfishness? That's one of many fascinating topics we cover in this episode, in which we play snippets from Dan's one-on-one interview with His Holiness, and then unpack it all with Dr. Richard Davidson, neuroscientist and founder of the Center for Healthy Minds. We talk to His Holiness about "wise selfishness," how to handle our enemies, and whether he ever gets angry. Then Richie recounts a time when His Holiness exhibited a rare flash of anger— towards him, in fact.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Want more of The Dalai Lama's Guide to Happiness? Download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-540" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dalai-lama-guide-540</a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Other Resources Mentioned:</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href="https://hminnovations.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Healthy Minds Innovations</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Additional Resources:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://10percenthappier.app.link/JoinChallengePod</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Compassion for Well-being

Engage in warm-heartedness, altruism, and compassion as the ultimate source of happiness, inner peace, inner strength, and physical health. This practice decreases inflammation and the severity of chronic illnesses.

2. Manage Anger with Mindfulness

Practice simple mindfulness and compassion meditation to become aware of anger, understand its causes, and change your relationship to it. This helps create distance from the emotion, allowing it to dissipate more easily.

3. Deal with Difficult People Gradually

Start by practicing compassion with slightly annoying people, then gradually approach more problematic individuals. Reflect on their feelings, take their perspective, appreciate that their actions may not be intentionally hurtful, and recognize their universal wish to be happy.

4. Embrace Wise Selfishness

Understand that thinking in a more compassionate way towards others is the best way to fulfill your own interests. Helping others sincerely leads to maximum benefit for yourself, including increased happiness.

5. Help Others, Even Selfishly

Begin engaging in altruistic behaviors even if your initial motivation is selfish. Over time, through ‘functional autonomy,’ this behavior can transform into intrinsic motivation, as humans are innately kind.

6. Balance Altruism and Self-Interest

Remember that altruism does not mean completely forgetting your own interests; it is necessary to look out for your own well-being while also focusing on others.

7. Address Selfish Tendencies

Acknowledge and celebrate your awareness of selfish tendencies, as this self-awareness is a necessary condition for change. Recognize these are often culturally acquired and require consistent practice to uproot.

8. Meditate on Altruism at Death

Commit to focusing on the welfare of others, even in the last moments of life, as exemplified by the Dalai Lama’s practice of meditating on altruism at the time of his death.

9. Join Meditation Challenge

Sign up for the free ‘Dalai Lama’s Guide to Happiness’ meditation challenge on the 10% Happier app, starting January 9th, to receive daily videos and guided meditations to integrate these lessons.