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Why You're Burning Out -- And How to Fix It | Leah Weiss

Jun 2, 2021 1h 8m 41 insights
Covid appears to have brought on a spike in burnout, especially among women, millions of whom have exited the workplace since the pandemic began. So what is burnout, exactly? How do you know if you qualify? How do you fix it? And can meditation help? That's what we're tackling today with Leah Weiss, who despite being a longtime meditator herself, has experienced burnout firsthand.  Leah is a researcher and author. She was a founding faculty member of the Compassion Institute at Stanford University, and she's the co-founder of Skylyte - a company that specializes in using the latest science to help organizations prevent burnout. She's written two books. The most relevant for our purposes is called: How We Work: Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity, and Embrace the Daily Grind. In this conversation, we cover: the differences between anxiety, depression, and burnout; how to detect burnout; how burnout runs along a spectrum, and is a "full body experience;" why meditation can help but also make some people more susceptible to burnout; what can be done to protect women in the workplace; and her argument that burnout isn't just a personal problem, but also a systemic one.  Also: If you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it for free here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858, or wherever you get your apps. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/leah-weiss-352
Actionable Insights

1. Understand Burnout’s Systemic Roots

Recognize that burnout is often driven by systemic issues like lack of fairness, poor relationships, or transgressed values, not just hard work, to avoid misplacing blame and solely focusing on individual fixes.

2. Challenge Burnout-Inducing Mindsets

Identify and challenge mindsets like the ‘hero complex,’ ‘busyness as a badge of honor,’ or viewing burnout as a weakness, as these increase burnout likelihood and prevent effective coping.

3. Define Personal Success & Purpose

Define ‘having it all,’ your desired life, and your personal definition of impact and success, rather than adopting external perspectives, to create a fulfilling life that aligns with your values.

4. Enlist a “Diving Buddy”

Learn the phases of burnout and enlist a trusted person (a ‘diving buddy’) in your life or workplace to help monitor for signs, as self-diagnosis is often difficult.

5. Process Moral Injury

If experiencing moral injury or values transgression at work, find an outlet (e.g., mindfulness practice, expression) to process these feelings, avoiding suppression to prevent further burnout.

6. Practice Mindful Communication

Practice ’titrating’ attention during conversations by shifting focus between your internal experience (physical, emotional, cognitive) and external observations of others (physical cues, emotional state, concepts expressed) to enhance understanding and response.

7. Strategically Plan Conversations

Strategically plan how, when, and what to say when speaking up, seeking feedback from mentors and experienced individuals, and emphasizing positive intention rather than just critique.

8. Prioritize Core Self-Care

Prioritize fundamental self-care: ensure adequate sleep, regular exercise, healthy eating (without fanaticism), consistent meditation, strong community ties, and exposure to nature, as these are crucial for resilience.

9. Listen to Your Body

Listen to your body’s signals (e.g., tiredness) and respond with short breaks or enjoyable activities instead of powering through, as your body is a reliable barometer for your well-being.

10. Reprogram Inner Dialogue

Reprogram negative inner dialogue by stepping away from tasks, noticing self-critical spirals, and replacing them with self-compassionate, task-focused affirmations to foster a healthier mindset.

11. Shift Focus to Influence

Identify sources of frustration, values transgression, and lack of agency, then shift focus to what you can influence and control to avoid feeling stuck and overwhelmed.

12. Explore Future Career Options

If in a toxic work environment that can’t be changed and quitting isn’t feasible, start strategically exploring other potential environments and taking steps to understand your choices for the future.

13. Double Down on Internal Work

If external change is impossible, double down on internal work: focus on mindset, find joy outside of work, in spaces between tasks, or in relationships within the workplace.

14. Combine Study and Practice

Combine study and practice to work several parts of the mind at once, integrating wisdom from experts into deeper parts of your mind and body through application.

15. Differentiate Burnout Symptoms

Differentiate burnout from anxiety/depression by observing if feelings are situational (work-related, worsening at the start of the week) or across the board, especially if you are prone to anxiety/depression.

16. Reflect on Relentless Busyness

Reflect on relentless busyness in all life components (work, parenting, social media) and consider a ‘reset’ to do days and family differently, as forced pauses can offer valuable perspective.

17. Acknowledge Insufficient Tools

Acknowledge that your current tools (e.g., meditation) might not be sufficient for solving burnout, and be open to seeking additional solutions beyond individual practice.

18. Recognize Purpose’s Double Edge

Be aware that an overabundance of purpose can lead to self-sacrifice and workaholism, especially in mission-driven fields, making it a precipitant for burnout.

19. Decide When “It’s Not Worth It”

Decide if your current situation is ’not worth it’ and be willing to make significant changes, even if terrifying, to escape an unsustainable path for your well-being.

20. Reframe Impact by Doing Less

Recognize that by doing less, you can sometimes achieve a larger, more meaningful impact, challenging the notion that more effort always equals more success.

21. Initiate Home Caregiving Discussions

Initiate curious discussions within the home about the distribution of caregiving and housework, asking ‘what are we doing here?’ and ‘how do we feel about what we’re doing?’ to ensure fairness and reduce strain.

22. Advocate for Workplace Flexibility

Inquire about workplace flexibility, adjusted targets, and performance metrics, and advocate for them if they are not in place, as these adjustments can significantly impact burnout.

23. Triage Frustrations with Peers

Engage with peers or mentors to triage frustrations, prioritize actionable items, and strategize advocacy within your team or organization, avoiding futile efforts against immovable obstacles.

24. Respond Proactively, Not Reactively

When addressing important issues, seek mentor feedback and use mindfulness to create space and understanding, ensuring you respond proactively rather than reactively or defensively.

25. Choose Your Battles Wisely

Deliberately choose which battles to fight, considering what’s worth it and acceptable consequences, recognizing that inaction also has a cost on your well-being.

26. Senior Leaders: Be Upstanders

If in a senior position, act as an upstander for those with less power by being transparent about personal challenges (e.g., childcare needs) and calling out inequities.

27. Foster Team Psychological Safety

As a team, work to understand each other’s ’tuning triggers’ and openly discuss them (e.g., punctuality) to improve collaboration and create a psychologically safe environment.

28. Vary Group Communication Dynamics

Foster belonging and inclusion in group settings by intentionally changing communication dynamics, such as using a round robin format to ensure less vocal individuals contribute.

29. Men: Ask Women How to Help

Men should initiate dialogue by asking women in their lives how they can be helpful regarding burnout and workplace challenges, opening a space for support.

30. Men: Examine Home Task Distribution

Men should examine the distribution of home tasks, focusing not just on who does more, but who feels drained by their responsibilities, to ensure equitable and sustainable arrangements.

31. Men: Understand Women’s Frustrations

Understand what truly drains your partner and what would be most helpful to them, and acknowledge systemic frustrations women face (e.g., pay gap, visibility) to offer informed support.

32. Engage in Open Conversations

Engage in open conversations with close contacts about frustrations and challenges to gain perspective, validate experiences, and receive support.

33. Monitor Unhelpful Coping Strategies

Pay attention to coping strategies that involve repeatedly throwing yourself back into work when stressed or anxious, as this can be a sign of unhelpful, burnout-inducing patterns.

34. Monitor Subtle Health Components

Pay close attention to subtle health components like sleep and community, as neglecting them can lead to gradual burnout, making you like ’the frog in the pot’.

35. Observe Busyness as a Badge

If you tend to view busyness as a badge of honor, consciously observe how often you express pride in being busy, as this mindset contributes to burnout.

36. Avoid Long-Term Stagnation

Avoid long-term stagnation by actively exploring future choices and discussing them with others, even if immediate change isn’t possible, to foster a sense of agency.

37. Download 10% Happier App

Download the 10% Happier app for free to access a library of guided meditations and apply lessons learned from the podcast to your daily life.

38. Visit Skylight Website

Visit Skylight’s website for resources on resilience, burnout, self-awareness, community, autonomy, and advocacy at the team and organizational level.

39. Connect with Leah Weiss

Connect with Leah Weiss via her personal website (LeahWeissPhD.com) or email to share experiences or ask questions, as she welcomes engagement from listeners.

40. Read “How We Work”

Read Leah Weiss’s book ‘How We Work, Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity, and Embrace the Daily Grind’ for insights on purpose, sanity, and managing daily work.

41. Read “Little Book of Bhavana”

Read ‘The Little Book of Bhavana’ for daily strategies focused on building resilience.