Practice self-love by deeply understanding, forgiving, appreciating, and accepting your limitations, which fosters a fluid relationship with yourself and moves you towards understanding the emptiness of self. Recognize that seeing your habits (greed, aversion, delusion) does not justify self-harshness or self-hatred.
Incorporate high-dosage Metta (loving-kindness) practice into your meditation to uncover and address subtle aversions in your mindfulness practice, suffusing your mind with warmth and acceptance.
See whatever arises in your mind as a function of causes and conditions, not personal, to foster self-forgiveness and reduce self-blame, recognizing the ‘innocence of our being.’ Understanding the multi-causal nature of thoughts and feelings reduces ego’s defensiveness, fostering courage for deeper self-exploration.
View anger and aversion with skepticism, acknowledging that while there might be a seed of wisdom, delusion is always present and the certainty of that mind state needs to be undercut. When experiencing these emotions, remind yourself that they cannot end well, are not the final truth, and always omit something.
When anger or aversion arises, follow the causal thread deeper into its origins to find more reasons for love, forgiveness, and understanding, recognizing that hatred always leaves something out. Be rigorously honest and discerning when your mind tries to justify aversion, noticing when you’re omitting information that weakens your case.
Recognize that wherever there is suffering, there ought to be ethical commitments (sila), and respond to this call to evolve ethically as individuals and as a species.
Tolerate disorientation when evolving ethically, as egoic mechanisms will try to re-establish familiar ground, understanding that it is safe to fall and explore new ethical territory. Use dharma practice to become more comfortable with this ‘free fall’ and the absence of familiar egoic reference points.
When meditating, focus on simply doing the practice (‘clock in and clock out’) rather than constantly assessing its progress or trajectory, and avoid using the pleasantness or unpleasantness of a moment as the sole barometer for its effectiveness.
Prioritize loving well and living carefully, as the legacy of love is the most important thing at the end of life, and it’s about the only thing that matters from what can be seen.
Repeatedly practice ‘unclenching the fist of grasping’ (letting go of control and ownership) in daily life and meditation as preparation for the final surrender at death.
Reflect on what makes life feel ’enough’ to counteract the endless desire for more time or experience, cultivating a sense of completion in life that can diminish the imposing nature of death.
Understand that overcoming deep-seated habits like aversion takes time and consistent gradual training, similar to an athlete, to prevent getting overwhelmed by reactivity.
When overwhelmed by suffering and reactivity, aim for humility rather than humiliation, recognizing that pain or negative habits are not a personal commentary on your deepest being.
When mindfulness techniques fail and you’re in deep pain, use it as an opportunity to return to love and compassion for yourself, allowing the intensity of your habits to soften your heart through surrender, which can deepen your motivation to practice.
Move away from arrogance and self-hatred towards deeper self-acceptance and understanding of ’emptiness of self’ to reduce defensiveness, which is crucial as you evolve ethically.
Reflect on your own life’s moral unjustifiability, particularly regarding privileging trivial pleasures over the suffering of others, and instead of shutting down or rationalizing, tolerate the discomfort this brings.
Explore effective altruism and consider what modern compassion (bodhisattva-like action) looks like in addressing tractable suffering in the world.
As your personal suffering diminishes through practice, use the freed-up energy to open your eyes more fully to the suffering and well-being in the world, leading to a deeper commitment to meet its conditions.
Stay conscious of ethical questions (e.g., how high do we live while others die) and live with them, allowing them to catalyze changes in your own behavior.
Approach ethical development with wonder, seeing it as a dynamic process of transformation rather than static rule-following.
Practice surrendering to the present moment and the intensity of the human condition, simply paying attention to the breath and sensory events without judgment.
Practice a multi-faceted approach to love: love yourself deeply (appreciating strengths, goodness, foibles, limitations), love others in sustained relationships, and love widely/radically for all beings, including those you’ll never meet.
Engage in practice to experience the boundless, pervasive nature of love, allowing it to serve as a ‘North Star’ amidst daily challenges and leave a lasting impression on your heart.
Download the new ‘10% with Dan Harris’ meditation app to easily access guided meditations from favorite teachers and engage with a community.
Utilize the 10% with Dan Harris app’s library of guided meditations to help with stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, self-compassion, and dealing with annoying people.
Gain access to and participate in weekly live Zoom community sessions offered through the 10% with Dan Harris app, where you can meditate and ask questions.
Sign up for a 14-day trial of the 10% with Dan Harris app at danharris.com to see if it’s right for you.