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When Your Mind Won't Stop, Try This | Vinny Ferraro

Nov 28, 2025 44m 12s 31 insights
<p dir="ltr">If you've ever felt like your inner life is a clenched fist — tight belly, buzzing chest, racing mind — this conversation is for you. In this live session from our <a href="http://danharris.com/">DanHarris.com</a> sangha, the great Vinny Ferraro takes us on a kind of "return to the body" safari: soft-belly practice, heart-work, nervous system regulation, forgiving the seemingly unforgivable, and what it actually means to stop becoming and just be here.</p> <p dir="ltr">We also get into the weirdness and power of meditating together online, the comparing mind (yes, the Dalai Lama has one too), why walking meditation is a secret weapon for restless brains, and how both Dan and Vinny were dragged, kicking and screaming, into practices they once thought were total BS.</p> <p dir="ltr">Vinny brings his trademark mix of streetwise honesty, humor, and deep tenderness. This one is about learning to meet yourself — and the world — with a little less armor and a lot more care.</p> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan live every Tuesday at 4pm ET for these weekly meditations and Q&amp;As — plus access to all our guided meditations — by signing up at <a href="https://www.danharris.com/">DanHarris.com</a>.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Related Episodes:</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.danharris.com/p/you-cant-hate-yourself-into-becoming?r=4o5o&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web&amp;showWelcomeOnShare=false"> You Can't Hate Yourself Into Becoming a Better Person | Vinny Ferraro</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.danharris.com/p/how-to-make-time-for-the-things-you?r=4o5o&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web&amp;showWelcomeOnShare=false"> How to Make Time for the Things You Actually Care About | Vinny Ferraro</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><br /> <br /></p> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan's online community <a href="http://www.danharris.com/">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Soft Belly Practice

Practice ‘soft belly’ by allowing your belly to soften, which helps calm the nervous system and release stored tension or ‘unattended sorrow,’ opening access to joy.

2. Meet Experience with Curiosity

Approach your internal experiences and stress with curiosity rather than judgment to understand them better and reduce internal resistance.

3. Practice Self-Compassion Strategy

When facing difficult emotions, practice Kristen Neff’s three-part strategy: first, be mindful of the feeling; second, acknowledge common humanity by recognizing others share this experience; and third, offer yourself kindness, as you would a loved one, perhaps with a hand on your chest or belly.

4. Commit Fully to Practice

Commit fully to your chosen path or practice, rather than cherry-picking, to experience the transformational benefits that come from completeness.

5. Prioritize Meditation, Don’t Skip

Treat meditation or mindfulness practice as non-optional, especially when stressed, recognizing that you need it more than ever to rest your nervous system.

6. Ground with Feet on Floor

Multiple times a day, especially when feeling rushed, pause to sit down and focus on the felt sense of your feet touching the floor, without engaging with stories or concepts, to ground yourself.

7. Reframe Harmful Behavior

Strive to see all human behavior, including harmful actions, as either an act of love or a call for love, fostering a deeper understanding and compassionate response.

8. Separate Actor from Action

When struggling with forgiveness, particularly for ’evildoers,’ practice separating the actor from the action, recognizing that while some acts may be unforgivable, the actor may be a confused person acting out of pain.

9. Act Without Hatred

When taking affirmative action against harm, cultivate an inward and outward orientation that allows you to act from a place fueled by something ‘cleaner burning than hatred,’ rather than othering or labeling.

10. Embrace Online Community (Sangha)

Engage in online group meditation sessions to experience connection and community, which can be a valuable form of Sangha, especially when in-person gatherings are not possible.

11. Meditate Without Striving

When meditating, avoid trying to ‘fix’ or ‘manage’ your experience; instead, just arrive and let yourself rest in your own awareness without striving.

12. Use Walking Meditation

If you struggle to sit still for meditation due to restlessness or tiredness, try walking meditation as a warm-up, supplementary, or alternative practice.

13. Soften Demands on Moment

Begin meditation by softening any demands you have on the present moment or yourself, allowing things to be exactly as they are without resistance.

14. Focus on Breath Sensations

Focus your attention on the sensation of breathing in your body, observing the rising and falling of the belly or chest, or airflow at the nostrils, with curiosity.

15. Connect with Your Heart

Place a hand on your chest to physically connect with and feel the ’life-stirring’ within, bringing awareness and curiosity to your heart’s felt sense.

16. Meet Heart As It Is

Practice meeting your heart exactly as it is in the present moment, dropping the argument that it should feel otherwise, and allowing whatever is there to belong.

17. Carry Care Throughout Day

Integrate this practice of self-care throughout your day by returning to your body (feet on the floor, breath, hand on belly/heart) and acknowledging ‘I’m right here.’

18. Play with Awareness

Experiment with awareness, understanding that it is always aware of something, and allow yourself to stay current with what is being known in the present moment.

19. Avoid Comparing Experiences

Avoid comparing online experiences (like meditation or community) too much to in-person ones, and instead appreciate the increased accessibility they provide.

20. Recognize Common Humanity

When anxiety or difficult feelings arise, tend to them by recognizing ’this is not mine’ and ‘I’m not the origin story,’ then broaden your awareness to the common humanity of billions who share this feeling.

21. Walking Meditation Mantra

During walking meditation, silently repeat the mantra ‘Nowhere to go, nothing to get, no one to be’ with each step to cultivate panoramic awareness free from identity and striving.

22. Let Go of ‘Becoming’

Practice the kindness of letting go of the idea of ‘becoming’ or being ‘on your way somewhere,’ recognizing that the truth and your experience are already ‘right here.’

23. Inquire ‘What Is Known?’

During meditation, ask yourself ‘What is being known?’ to allow yourself to stay current and fresh with whatever awareness is perceiving in the present moment.

24. Think Healthy, Not Evil

Adopt the perspective of thinking in terms of ‘healthy or unhealthy’ behavior rather than ‘good and evil’ to foster a less judgmental and more understanding approach to others’ actions.

25. Understand Harm’s Roots

Understand that people who do harm often feel cut off, isolated, and armored, which can fuel their actions, rather than labeling them as inherently evil.

26. Dedicate Merit to All

At the end of meditation, dedicate the merit of your practice to all beings without exception, wishing for them to remember their inherent goodness and belonging.

27. Cultivate Sense of Belonging

Cultivate a deep understanding and feeling of belonging to each other, as this awareness makes it inherently difficult to cause harm.

28. Act with Loving Intention

When faced with a need for self-defense or protective action, act decisively and firmly, but with an underlying intention of love and care, not hatred.

29. Develop Belly Connection Habit

Make it a habit to reach to your belly during practice as a way to connect with that part of yourself, helping you land in the body and feel softness.

30. Choose Meditation Gaze

When meditating, choose to either close your eyes or soften your gaze, whichever helps you turn your attention inward.

31. Release Physical Tension

Before or during meditation, stretch out areas where you hold tension, such as shoulders, neck, or jaw, to promote physical relaxation.