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What You Can Learn from the Buddha's Wife and Aunt | Pamela Weiss

Nov 30, 2020 1h 5m 15 insights
The women around the Buddha dropped a ton of useful wisdom, but I suspect you haven't heard much about that. Why? Why have these women been largely written out of history? And what do these hidden figures have to teach us? We're diving in on that today with Pamela Weiss, dharma teacher in the Zen and Theravada traditions and author of A Bigger Sky. Last week, we had on Bhikkhu Bodhi, who talked about the words of the Buddha. You might think of this episode as a follow-up to that one—part compelling history, part injection of approachable wisdom. In this conversation, we talk about Pamela's research into the Buddha's wife, mom, and aunt; how and why Buddhism became tilted toward the masculine; and the benefits both Pamela and I have experienced from bringing more feminine energy to our practice and life. Where to find Pamela Weiss online:  Website: https://pamelaweiss.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PamelaWeissAuthor/ Books Mentioned: A Bigger Sky: Awakening a Fierce Feminine Buddhism by Pamela Weiss https://pamelaweiss.com/publications2 Therigatha: Selected Poems of the First Buddhist Women translated by Charles Hallisey https://bookshop.org/books/therigatha-selected-poems-of-the-first-buddhist-women/9780674427730 The First Free Women: Poems of the Early Buddhist Nuns by Matty Weingast https://bookshop.org/books/the-first-free-women-poems-of-the-early-buddhist-nuns/9781611807769 2020 has been a doozy, so this year we're offering Ten Percent Happier subscriptions at a 40% discount. Get this deal before it ends on December 1st by going to www.tenpercent.com/november.  Take Part in the New Year's Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you're outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th.  Full Show Notes & Resources: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pamela-weiss-304
Actionable Insights

1. Balance Masculine, Feminine Energies

Identify the tilt towards masculine energies (e.g., pushing, striving) in your individual practice and community, then consciously integrate more feminine qualities like receptivity, gentleness, nourishment, and connection to achieve greater balance.

2. Identify Masculine Energy Tilt

Notice how our world and practices are tilted toward masculine energies (e.g., hard, fast, active) over feminine energies (e.g., soft, slow, passive), recognizing this imbalance contributes to cultural sickness.

3. Reject Shame-Based Self-Improvement

Avoid ‘New Year, New You’ narratives that imply complete reinvention and are often based on shame and self-loathing, instead exploring a science-based approach to self-love.

4. See Everyone as Future Buddha

Look at everyone as if they might be a future Buddha, which can help counteract judgmental tendencies and assume greatness in others.

5. Address Bad Behavior with Compassion

When encountering bad behavior in yourself or others, try to see it as stemming from confusion and suffering rather than innate badness, fostering a more compassionate response.

6. Integrate Fierce Compassionate Action

Combine deep compassion with fierce dedication, perseverance, and grit, recognizing that compassion is not just soft but can also drive strong, determined action.

7. Advocate for Unheard Voices

For those in positions of privilege, listen to the cries of those being left out and advocate for them, taking a stand even if it might be difficult or unpopular.

8. Nourish Your Spiritual Practice

Avoid intense pushing, striving, and solitary effort in spiritual practice, recognizing it’s a connected journey where you need to keep yourself well-fed with beauty, relationships, art, and rest.

9. Embrace Heartfulness in Practice

Cultivate qualities like nurturance, tenderness, gentleness, relationship, support, and nourishment in your spiritual practice, fostering a ‘heartfulness’ that grounds you in the body rather than transcending it.

10. Ground Practice in Your Body

When experiencing intense doubt during meditation, reorient your practice from transcending ‘up and out’ to coming ‘down and in’ by grounding yourself, metaphorically or literally touching the earth.

11. Awaken Through Engaged Daily Life

Consider that living a life fully engaged in the world can be an equal opportunity path to awakening, rather than needing to renounce everything or retreat to a monastery.

12. Shift Perspective to Awaken

Understand that awakening involves shifting your perspective to see the same things in new ways, and take this up as a contemplation to potentially change your experience.

13. Reflect for Balanced Practice

Engage in personal reflection on the stories and perspectives shared, viewing them as an invitation to find your way into a more balanced practice, life, and world, rather than as criticism.

14. Submit New Year Series Questions

Dial 646-883-8326 to leave a voicemail with questions or reflections for the New Year series, including meditation questions, by December 7th.

15. Get 10% Happier App Discount

Subscribe to the 10% Happier app at a 40% discount by visiting 10percent.com/November before December 1st to access guided meditations and other features.