Learn to identify your nervous system’s current state (ventral for safety/connection, sympathetic for fight/flight, dorsal for shutdown) to actively move from suboptimal states to more regulated ones.
Actively learn to spot your nervous system’s current state and implement strategies to shift it from suboptimal (fight/flight, shutdown) to optimal (calm, connected) states.
Utilize your ‘mind consciousness’ as a gardener to selectively nurture ‘wholesome seeds’ (positive tendencies) and avoid watering ‘unwholesome seeds’ (negative tendencies) within your ‘store consciousness’.
Practice ‘wise diligence’ by actively bringing up wholesome seeds (e.g., generosity, gratitude), sustaining them in your mind, avoiding triggers for unwholesome seeds, and quickly addressing suffering with mindfulness.
Consistently engage in actions that bring you to a ventral (calm, connected) state, as repeated practice strengthens the neural pathways, making it easier and quicker to return to regulation.
When in a regulated, ventral state, intentionally offer kindness, smiles, and greetings to people around you, as your calm nervous system sends out cues of safety that positively impact others’ neuroception.
When faced with frustrating or annoying situations, practice acceptance by acknowledging your feelings and the reality of the situation, rather than fighting it, to prevent further personal and interpersonal dysregulation.
Become aware of and challenge self-critical ‘should’ statements, recognizing they often lead to self-blame and dysregulation; instead, practice self-compassion and acknowledge you are doing your best.
Understand that difficult states and emotions are impermanent and a natural part of being human; practice meeting them with available resources rather than panicking or viewing them as a permanent problem.
Cultivate skills to anchor in ventral and mindfully respond to pain, thereby avoiding the ‘second arrow’ of unnecessary suffering that comes from adding judgment or negative stories to unavoidable difficulties.
For manageable difficult states, ‘change the peg’ by shifting your focus or activity; for strong emotions, use the RAIN practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) to mindfully embrace and care for the emotion without suppression.
Engage in regular mindful practices (e.g., mindful eating, walking, breathing) to strengthen your ‘seed of mindfulness’ in ‘store consciousness,’ making it more accessible, quicker to arise, and longer-lasting when difficulties occur.
Actively look for ‘glimmers’ – micro moments of peace, gratitude, or connection in your daily life – to remind yourself that ventral states are always accessible, even amidst suffering, and to nourish those wholesome seeds.
When experiencing anxiety or despair, engage in acts of service or kindness towards others, as taking action can absorb anxiety and shift your nervous system into a more regulated, ventral state.
Pay attention to your nervous system’s emphatic ’no’ signals (e.g., intense claustrophobia, physical illness) and honor them by not powering through overwhelming situations, instead creating conditions for a safer return or alternative approach.
Actively seek out supportive relationships, therapeutic connections, or group practices to ‘borrow’ the strength, resilience, and regulation of others’ nervous systems when your own capacity is low.
If you or someone else is in a deep dorsal (shutdown/despair) state, the most crucial antidote is the non-demanding, regulated presence of a caring human who offers reassurance of not being alone and being seen.
For less intense dorsal (shutdown) states, gently reintroduce energy by engaging in subtle movement, listening to music, or reaching out to a friend via text to counteract feelings of isolation and gently bring back regulation.
After experiencing dysregulation, make an intention to offer kindness and repair connections with others when you return to a regulated, ventral state, as you cannot repair with all nervous systems you impacted while dysregulated.