Cultivate mental skills like friendliness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity through meditation practices to experience physiological and psychological benefits, especially during tumultuous times.
In formal metta practice, repeat phrases such as “May I be happy,” “May I be at peace and at ease,” “May I feel safe and protected from harm,” and “May I be free” for yourself and others.
Begin metta practice by sending phrases (e.g., “May you be happy, safe, healthy, and live with ease”) to yourself, then to an easy person, a benefactor, a neutral person, a difficult person, and finally to all beings everywhere, visualizing each as you do so.
Amend the metta practice to what is most useful for you, starting with an easy target like a puppy if self-love is difficult, to build a foundational feeling of care and kindness.
Cultivate metta by removing greed, hatred, or delusion; specifically, use mindfulness to become aware of fear, observing its experience in the body and sensations, and putting down fear-driven actions.
Do not measure the success of metta practice by immediate gushing feelings of love; view it as an exercise to boost your “love muscle” over time, as its effects may show up in your life rather than just during the practice.
Do not mistake metta, love, kindness, or care for passivity; instead, view it as a fierce and courageous practice that allows you to show up fully and create change more effectively than through anger or fear.
Practice metta for difficult people not to condone their actions, but to free yourself from carrying the burden of hatred, anger, or aversion, thereby lightening the load and tension in your own life.
When practicing metta for difficult people, acknowledge their bad behavior but try to see the human being in their fallibility, dividing the action from the actor, without needing to like them or condone their actions.
When practicing metta, especially for difficult people, pay close attention to feelings of resistance, resentment, tension, or pain without judging yourself, as this practice purifies by bringing these emotions to the surface.
Practice metta to free your mind and heart from rage and outrage, preventing it from being misdirected towards loved ones, and enabling you to live with more equity, peace, gentleness, and ease.
To preserve mental space for love and reduce overwhelming fear and anxiety, take regular breaks from news, social media, and other constant information streams that trigger negative emotions.
Integrate metta with mindfulness practice by regularly checking in with yourself (“What’s actually going on for me right now?”) to cultivate hope and move forward, rather than being stuck in despair.
When bombarded by triggering information, observe where your mind inclines; instead of deflecting uncomfortable feelings with hatred or blame, use metta to create space to be held in your grief and sadness.
Reflect on how you want your life to look and prioritize your personal well-being by choosing not to engage in toxic conversations or attempt to change others, thereby avoiding carrying unnecessary emotional burdens.
Before engaging in difficult conversations, especially with family or friends, check in with yourself to assess your capacity and consider avoiding certain topics or people if you’re not interested in constant fighting.
When needing to communicate in a difficult situation, let wisdom guide you on when and how to show up; consider involving a neutral third party to help de-escalate and remove vitriol from your message.
When encountering suffering in yourself or others, practice staying present with it, without fear, pity, or avoidance, and consider taking compassionate action.
Practice delighting in the happiness of other people, actively engaging with their good fortune, rather than succumbing to jealousy or envy.
Cultivate the mind’s capacity to find balance and clarity, allowing you to be okay with experiences as they arise and see what is happening in an open way.
Understand that the four qualities (metta, compassion, mudita, equanimity) can work together and don’t need to be compartmentalized; apply the appropriate quality as the moment demands.
Use metta practice for neutral people (strangers) to become more aware of how you might ignore them, and strive to show up more fully for them, recognizing their potential pain or life experiences.
When practicing metta for a difficult person, start with someone who pushes your edge slightly but does not inspire overwhelming hatred, to set yourself up for success.
When sending metta to political figures you disagree with, reframe the wish for happiness as a desire for them to act in a more constructive role on the planet, believing they would be happier if they weren’t creating harm.
When engaging with people who hold opposing views, practice active listening to genuinely understand their perspective, as demonstrated by Van Jones visiting households of different voters.
Understand that while you cannot hate people into love, you also cannot always love someone into love or change outcomes; in such painful situations where suffering persists despite your love, compassion is called for.
Engage with the special election sanity meditation challenge on the 10% Happier app, which offers new videos and guided meditations daily from podcast teachers, to navigate tumult and toxicity.
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