Train your mind to find the miraculous in the everyday, rather than solely striving for peak experiences, which often lead to disappointment. This involves immense appreciation of the moment while also seeing its impermanence.
Acknowledge and come to terms with the inevitability of death, as this profound realization can lead to existential panic if not addressed. This acceptance is a significant step towards inner peace.
Shift your perspective from the ‘deficiency realm’ (where the world conforms to your deprivations) to the ‘being realm.’ In this state, you see the world and people clearly, seeking growth, beauty, and meaningfulness without trying to change things to conform to your lacks.
Engage in meditation practices like MBSR or non-dual mindfulness to foster self-acceptance, lightness of being, and a deeper connection to a primal state of being. The speaker highlights its wonders for personal growth.
Practice mindfulness to gain self-awareness, allowing you to observe what is going on in your mind at any given moment without being owned by it. This enables you to see emotions like anger arise without being consumed by them.
After gaining self-awareness, cultivate a warmer, more accepting relationship with your angry, defensive, or jealous parts. Recognize that these neurotic programs are unskillfully trying to help you, but you don’t have to be owned by them.
Strive to be a ‘whole person’ by coming into a relationship with all parts of yourself, including those that are less functional. The goal is to harmonize them into a cohesive whole, rather than ignoring or rejecting them.
Work to accept that certain aspects of yourself, including preferences or less-than-ideal tendencies, are not going to disappear. View these with humor rather than self-condemnation, which can lead to a greater ’easiness of being.’
Cultivate compassion, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, and even love for your own foibles and ‘ugliness.’ View these imperfections as natural expressions of human nature.
Harness all that you are in the service of realizing the best version of yourself, not to feel superior, but to be a harmonious part of the whole of human existence. This helps raise the bar for humanity as a collective.
Understand the difference between a healthy self (characterized by self-worth and authentic pride) and an unhealthy self (manifesting as various forms of narcissism or a lack of identity). This distinction is crucial for fostering genuine personal growth.
To genuinely grow, be honest with yourself and take a critical look at your own capacity for narcissism and other negative tendencies. Self-awareness of these traits is a vital step towards overcoming them.
Take full responsibility for your entire self, including less moral or desirable aspects, rather than attributing only positive traits to your ‘real self’ and blaming others for negative ones. This counters the common ‘authenticity bias.’
Instead of spending your life asking ‘who am I?’, reframe the question to ‘what potentialities within me do I want to devote my limited time and space on this earth, cultivating, growing, developing?’ This tangible question can fundamentally transform your life.
Approach life with intentionality, actively working to integrate various aspects of yourself and your experiences. View this process as a ‘fun puzzle’ to solve.
When facing challenges, such as panic attacks, frame them as part of a ‘game’ or puzzle, finding ways to integrate them rather than avoiding them. This approach can lead to greater flexibility and freedom in navigating difficulties.
When experiencing immense appreciation of a moment, also hold in your mind the impermanence of that moment. This ability to hold both appreciation and impermanence simultaneously can give a greater sense of transcendence.
Observe the continuity of humanity in situations and people you encounter, realizing that we are all part of a long lineage. This fosters a beautiful and transcendent appreciation of human existence.
Engage in experiences that allow you to get outside of your ego and trivial concerns, fostering a sense of broader connectedness to all of humanity. This perspective helps you see beyond individual self-interest.
Fulfill the need for self-actualization by expressing and bringing into existence the unique aspects of yourself that you don’t necessarily share with others. This allows you to maximize your impact or expression and feel most alive and creative.
Develop a healthy self-esteem where you feel inherently worthy as a human being, not necessarily better than others. Many psychological issues can arise from a fundamental feeling of unworthiness.
Allow yourself to feel a healthy sense of mastery and authentic pride for legitimate accomplishments achieved through your hard work, dedication, and devotion. This is a healthy form of self-acknowledgment.
Apply a framework to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy forms of various behaviors, such as aggression, humor, or altruism. Recognize that nothing is inherently healthy or unhealthy by itself, but rather depends on its context and intention.
Ensure that your pursuit of growth, justice, and personal goals rests on a firm foundation of reality and a healthy sense of self. Avoid building growth on an egoistic or fragile sense of self.
While acknowledging genuine victimization, avoid taking victimhood too far if the goal is personal growth and the growth of society. Focusing excessively on who suffers most may not lead to empathy or societal uplifting.
Approach societal issues like racism with a zero-positive mindset, focusing on how everyone would benefit from less hate and more empathy. This contrasts with zero-sum thinking, where one group’s gain is seen as another’s loss.
Foster a society where people rally around common basic human needs such as mattering, connection, safety, and security. Realize that even adversaries share these fundamental desires, which can be a basis for common ground.
Practice transcending your own point of view and biases to understand the perspectives of others, including those you disagree with or who may have hurt you. This fosters empathy and personal growth.
Utilize the principles of humanistic psychology to foster more experiences of strong connection and understanding between people. This is particularly effective when sharing personal struggles and vulnerabilities.
Aim to be a fully vital, integrated person who doesn’t leave parts of themselves unacknowledged or undeveloped. This means operating at your full capacity and accessing the full depths of the human experience.
Support a society that provides both basic safety needs (security, freedom from insecurity) and growth needs. This includes offering opportunities and resources for individuals to self-actualize.
Strive to balance equity and excellence in society, particularly within the education system. This involves promoting and encouraging the discovery and development of unique talents and potentialities.
Advocate for a society where virtue pays, meaning that character and individuals whose being uplifts the world are rewarded and given positions of power. This shifts focus from solely monetary rewards to intrinsic value.
Work to promote individuals with ‘Light Triad’ characteristics (humanism, faith in humanity, and Kantianism – treating people as ends, not means) into positions of power. This aims to foster better leadership and a more ethical society.
Practice keeping your ultimate goals and values (the ends) in mind, rather than solely focusing on the steps or methods (the means) to achieve them. This helps maintain perspective and purpose.
Actively fight against familiarization and seek out fresh, new experiences to keep life vibrant and foster continuous growth. This prevents stagnation and opens new avenues for learning.
Rather than running from your past or feelings of guilt, embrace them as an integral part of your journey and human experience. This acceptance can lead to greater psychological integration.
Practice enjoying and smiling at yourself, fostering a lighter, more humorous relationship with your own being. This simple act can reduce self-condemnation and increase self-acceptance.
When facing a situation, ask yourself how it would look to a child, an innocent person, or a very old person who is beyond personal ambition and competition. This mental exercise helps gain a broader, less ego-driven perspective.
If you find yourself becoming egoistic, arrogant, conceited, or puffed up, think of your own mortality or observe other arrogant people. This helps to see how unappealing such behavior is, fostering humility and a sense of humor about oneself.
Cultivate a deep abiding sense of the miraculous in the everyday, as if you have been given a second chance at life after a near-death experience. This perspective helps appreciate what was previously taken for granted.
When engaging in familiar activities or conversations, actively seek to find something exciting and new, to learn something you’ve never learned before. This transforms routine into a ‘plateau experience’ of continuous discovery.
Practice a healthy form of authenticity by being intentional about which sides of yourself you want to be true to, rather than impulsively expressing every thought or potentiality. This avoids ‘pseudo-authenticity’ and fosters deeper connections.
In practices like non-dual mindfulness, fully feel the ego without trying to transcend or get rid of it. Paradoxically, this complete acceptance can lead to a lightness of being and profound self-acceptance.