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Virginia Heffernan: Writer, 'Trumpcast' Podcast Co-Host

Jul 12, 2017 1h 3m 20 insights
Virginia Heffernan, who has written for several major publications including as a television and Internet culture columnist for the New York Times, opens up for the first time about her addiction to prescription drugs and her decision to get sober. The author of "Magic and Loss: The Internet as Art" and a co-host for Slate's "Trumpcast" podcast, Heffernan talks about the turmoil she was facing in her work and personal life, her relationship with religion and her Twitter persona @Page88.
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Powerlessness for Well-being

Recognize and accept that you are infinitely powerless over many life events and external circumstances. This realization can be a huge part of maintaining well-being and sanity, especially when faced with overwhelming situations.

2. Practice Consistent Daily Rituals

Engage in daily practices, whether meditative or religious, consistently and religiously, even when you don’t ‘feel’ like it or experience immediate insight. The act of ‘just keeping going’ is crucial for long-term benefits and stability.

3. Neutralize Difficult Emotions (Shinzen Young Method)

To overcome difficult emotions, locate the physical sensations of pain in your body, strip away all associated language and stories, and observe them neutrally. Label these sensations as ’local’ or ‘global’ and watch them without judgment until detachment occurs, which can simplify complex problems.

4. Join Anonymous Fellowship for Addiction

If struggling with addiction, consider joining an anonymous fellowship (e.g., AA). This community and its structured approach can provide a powerful path to sobriety and a better life.

5. Treat Online Interactions as a Game

Adopt the mindset that online platforms like Twitter are a ‘game’ and not real life. This helps create a psychological distance from digital interactions, reducing cortisol and adrenaline spikes from negative feedback.

6. Consciously Build Online Avatars

Approach online profiles and interactions with conscious ‘avatar building,’ making deliberate choices about how you present yourself. This playful self-invention can help maintain safety and confidence, especially for younger users.

7. Take Regular Digital Detox Breaks

Implement regular breaks from the internet and social media, especially after experiencing negative interactions like trolling. Taking three days off, for example, can be a crucial part of maintaining well-being.

8. Implement Daily Phone Usage Rules

Establish specific rules for phone usage: don’t pick it up until 20 minutes after waking (except for alarms), put it down 20 minutes before sleep, and take two hours off from it during the day. Apps like ‘Forest’ can help enforce these breaks.

9. Avoid Phone Use When With Others

Make a habit of not using your phone when you are with another person. This fosters presence and improves real-world connections.

10. Utilize Guided Meditations

Incorporate guided meditations into your practice, recognizing them as a valuable tool for learning and reconnection, not just ’training wheels.’ They can be particularly helpful for specific challenges like overcoming difficult emotions.

11. Integrate Meditation into Daily Life

Practice meditation not just in formal sittings, but also during everyday activities like doing dishes or walking. Be flexible with posture, as even lying down can be an effective way to meditate.

12. Reframe Perceived Intractable Problems

Challenge the belief that problems like chronic insomnia are intractable conditions. Instead, consider if they are rooted in coping mechanisms or addictions that can be addressed through new practices and mindsets.

13. Take Personal Responsibility

Take full personal responsibility for past actions and choices, especially those related to addiction or poor decision-making. This mindset is crucial for moving forward and making positive changes.

14. Engage in Religious Rituals for Reflection

Participate in religious rituals (e.g., church attendance) for the benefits of ritual, community, and self-reflection. Use elements like confession or atonement as a weekly inventory to take stock of one’s honesty and actions.

15. Differentiate Online from Real Life

Consciously distinguish between negative online experiences and your actual life. A ‘bad day on Twitter’ is not a ‘bad day’ in the broader sense, and there is a real world where things are still going on.

16. Prioritize Real-World Engagement

Focus your time and energy on living in the ‘real world’ and engaging with personal experiences, seeing this as your larger purpose. This helps anchor you in reality and provides a counterbalance to digital life.

17. Approach Beliefs with Skepticism

Cultivate skepticism towards statements of belief or faith, recognizing them as potentially social fictions or tools for motivation rather than literal truths. This helps avoid becoming ‘brittle’ around ideological subjects.

18. Seek Reconciliation After Personal Growth

After undergoing significant personal growth and spiritual work, actively seek reconciliation with estranged friends or family. This can lead to very happy endings and mend important relationships.

19. Don’t Shy Away from Inner Pain

Avoid the tendency to ignore or ’not touch’ difficult or painful parts of your psyche. Examining these unexamined aspects, possibly with medical oversight for trauma, can often be the solution to underlying issues.

20. Use Mantras for Focus and Sleep

Employ a mantra (a word or phrase repeated silently or chanted) to focus the mind, especially during times of distress or to aid sleep. This can be a powerful alternative to less healthy coping mechanisms.