Type A Nun, Mindful Parenting, and Natural Awareness, Diana Winston

Diana Winston first learned about meditation as a kid, but it wasn't until she traveled to Asia following college that her practice really took off. She has been practicing mindfulness meditation since 1989, including a year as a Buddhist nun in Burma! Thankfully for us, she has returned to mainstream society where we can learn from her teachings. She's been called one of the nation's best-known teachers of mindfulness and has taught mindfulness for 20 years at hospitals, universities, corporations, non-profits, and schools in the US and Asia. Currently she is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA Semel Institute's Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC) and the co-author of Fully Present, the Science, Art and Practice of Mindfulness. She is also the author of Wide Awake for teens, and has published numerous articles on mindfulness. In our conversation, Winston shares stories from her own practice, including her time as a Buddhist nun, as well as what she calls her most challenging and rewarding practice - trying to mindfully parent her nine-year-old daughter. The Plug Zone Website: http://www.dianawinston.com/about_me.html The Little Book of Being: http://www.dianawinston.com/ UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center: www.uclahealth.org/marc Twitter: @dianawinston "Just This" Talk by Diana Winston in the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/EPje4jnDXW ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Natural Awareness, Let Go

Shift your meditation practice from striving to achieve a goal to recognizing the inherent goodness and presence of your mind. This involves resting your mind in its true nature and acknowledging that awareness is already here, leading to profound well-being and connection.

2. STOP for Emotional Regulation

When overwhelmed by strong emotions, use the “STOP” acronym: Stop, Take a breath, Observe what’s happening in your body and mind (sensations, thoughts), and then Proceed. This process helps calm your nervous system and allows for a more skillful, less reactive response by bringing awareness to the experience.

3. Utilize Glimpse Practices

Integrate short phrases like “effortless,” “nowhere to go, nothing to do,” “it’s already here,” or “can I be with just this” into your meditation or daily life. These phrases help turn your mind towards a more open, spacious, and relaxed awareness, especially when you notice yourself striving.

4. Navigate Awareness Spectrum

Recognize that meditation involves a spectrum of practices, from focused attention (like on the breath) to wide-open, spacious awareness. Learn to skillfully switch between these modes—tighten focus if your mind is fuzzy, or relax into open awareness if you’re over-efforting—to maintain a balanced practice.

5. Depersonalize with Eight Worldly Winds

View life’s inevitable ups and downs (praise/blame, gain/loss, fame/dishonor, pleasure/pain) as “worldly winds” that simply happen, rather than taking them personally. This perspective helps cultivate equanimity and reduces suffering caused by constantly seeking the good and avoiding the bad.

6. Mindful Parenting: Release Expectations

As a parent, observe your expectations about who your child “should” be (e.g., a big reader, a dancer) and practice letting them go. This allows you to return to the reality of who your child is and accept them, fostering a more loving and accepting relationship.

7. Seek Qualified Meditation Guidance

Actively seek access to qualified meditation teachers through retreats, remote programs, or coaching functions (like the 10 Happier app). While you can become your own best teacher over time, initial guidance helps navigate different practices and ensures effective learning.

8. Observe Natural Breath (or Alternatives)

If you struggle to observe your natural breath without controlling it, try meditating lying down, exploring different anchor points (abdomen, chest, nose), or switching to an alternative anchor like listening to sounds. The goal is to let the breath be at its own natural rhythm.

9. Model Mindfulness for Children

Instead of directly teaching your children meditation, focus on modeling a meditative lifestyle and a dedication to the practice yourself. Children often learn best from others and may resist direct instruction from parents.