Recognize that you cannot fully love others if you only tolerate or loathe yourself; actively cultivate a relationship with yourself as a friend, applying the Golden Rule to yourself, and use practices like loving-kindness (Metta) meditation for this purpose.
When practicing loving-kindness (Metta) meditation, remember to project goodwill, love, and well wishes not only to others but also to yourself, including younger or hurt versions of yourself, as this can be a profound game-changer.
Understand that your mind is trainable and your heart is openable, meaning you are not stuck with undesirable psychological patterns and can actively work towards personal growth and emotional openness.
Understand that meditation is not about controlling or stopping thoughts, but rather about noticing when you’re swept up in them and then practicing stepping back to observe them as an audience member watches a movie. Each time you recognize you’re ‘in the washing machine’ and step out, that’s the practice.
Once significant inner trauma or self-sabotage is identified, elevate ’this work’ (healing, self-discovery) to the absolute top priority, placing all other goals and responsibilities far below it.
Recognize that many seemingly disparate self-defeating behaviors, relationship issues, and inexplicable struggles may stem from a common root: unresolved childhood trauma.
If you identify unresolved childhood trauma as a root cause of your struggles, seek professional help from trauma specialists and explore various therapeutic modalities.
For profound personal transformation and healing, combine professional therapy with meditation, ensuring the meditation is practiced under very qualified supervision.
When learning new practices like meditation, look for specific, pragmatic, step-by-step instructions rather than vague or overly ‘woo’ explanations to avoid misinterpretation and frustration.
Don’t rely on a single practice or tool for personal growth and well-being; integrate various approaches, like different meditation styles, to create a comprehensive toolkit.
When facing significant life questions or milestones, articulate your core questions (e.g., 11 questions) and proactively seek answers and wisdom by asking for help from a diverse ’tribe of mentors’ who are impressive minds and hearts.
If a practice or idea is repeatedly recommended by multiple credible sources in a short period, consider giving it a serious try, as this density of repetition can be persuasive.
When considering a new, potentially costly or intimidating practice, evaluate the potential upside against the limited downside, especially if you’re struggling and have little to lose.
When seeking guidance, openly communicate your biases, feelings, and ‘baggage’ to your teacher or mentor upfront to help them match you with appropriate methods or support, preventing frustration.
If you’re resistant to the ’new age’ branding of meditation, reframe it as a ‘warm bath for your mind’ to make it more appealing and understandable.
Engage in visualization practices, similar to those used in sports performance, to potentially enhance your skills and outcomes.
Pay attention to individuals who quietly engage in deep practices like silent retreats, especially if they are high-functioning or seemingly ‘frenetic,’ as their consistent practice might be a key to their effectiveness.
If a chosen practice or intensity level becomes clearly unproductive (e.g., only thinking about food during meditation), be willing to adjust or stop that specific aspect.
When seeking help for deep personal work, look for individuals who possess the rare ability to ’listen beyond listening’ and ‘see beyond seeing,’ truly understanding your unspoken struggles rather than offering stock answers.
Do not recommend silent meditation retreats to others without understanding their psychological history, as 10-15% of participants may experience severe trauma resurfacing without adequate support.
Understand that powerful tools like plant medicine can destabilize as much as they can heal, especially for individuals with undiagnosed mental health histories like schizophrenia, and should be approached with extreme caution and thorough consideration of ramifications.
Be aware that daily use of stimulants, even over-the-counter ones like ECA stack (ephedrine, caffeine, aspirin), can lead to dependence and pronounced negative side effects, making it difficult to wean off.
Recognize that stimulants may dramatically magnify perceived productivity rather than actual productivity, while also increasing anxiety, speeding up internal monologue, and worsening sleep, leading to burnout.
If a piece of advice, despite warnings, carries a disproportionately high risk of severe negative consequences for a segment of the audience, consider removing it entirely.
To intensify a deep personal practice like a silent retreat, consider layering fasting on top to reach a state of deep ketosis, but be aware this is an extreme measure and not generally recommended.