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Three Strategies for Getting Over Yourself | Joseph Goldstein

Jul 12, 2023 1h 14m 12 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Every year, Joseph Goldstein does a three month silent meditation retreat by himself at his home in Massachusetts. In this conversation you're about to hear, Joseph had just emerged from one such retreat with a bunch of thoughts on what are called the three proliferating tendencies or three papañca to use the ancient Pali term. </p> <p>These are three ways in which we perpetuate an unhealthy sense of self. Joseph has explained that you can think about the process of going deeper in meditation as a process of lightening up or getting less self-centered. You're about to get a masterclass in doing just that. </p> <p>For the uninitiated, Joseph is one of the co-founders of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. His co-founders are two other meditation titans, Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Joseph has been a teacher at IMS since it was founded in the seventies and he continues to be the resident guiding teacher there. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The framework for understanding the three proliferating tendencies; the basic building blocks of our experience in the world</li> <li>Six things that make up what the Buddha called "the all" </li> <li>What non-self means and why it's essential to the Buddhist teaching of liberation</li> <li>The two levels of truth: conventional and ultimate</li> <li>Why language is so important in conditioning how we experience things </li> <li>How the three proliferating tendencies provide a very practical guide to understanding how we manufacture our own suffering</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-364-rerun" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-364-rerun</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Focus on Disappearing Experiences

Observe experiences (like a step or sensation) not just as they arise, but as they continually disappear (“gone, gone, gone”). This practice helps the mind let go of grasping and attachment, leading to a sense of liberation and free flow.

2. Meditate on Physical Elements

During physical activities like walking, mentally label sensations by their elemental qualities (e.g., “air element” for movement, “earth element” for hardness). This dissolves the “I, me, mine” sense, revealing the non-personal nature of physical experience.

3. Practice Passive Voice Awareness

Use the passive voice (e.g., “a sound is being heard,” “what’s being known?”) in meditation and daily life for short periods (5-10 minutes). This removes the “I” from the experience, reducing over-efforting and fostering an effortless state.

4. Release Suffering by Recognizing Conceit

When experiencing self-judgment or “I am-ing,” recognize this mindset as the defilement of conceit. This direct recognition can immediately release the mind from the suffering caused by the self-story.

5. Embrace Seeing Mental Defilements

Cultivate delight in recognizing unskillful patterns of mind (defilements) rather than discouragement. Seeing them clearly is enlightening, allowing one to become less caught by them and feel lighter.

6. Adopt “Not Mine, Not I” Framework

View all experiences through the lens of “This is not mine, this I am not, this is not myself.” This foundational framework helps free oneself from suffering caused by the three proliferating tendencies.

7. Release the “Mine” Claim

Observe the tendency to claim things (like one’s body) as “mine.” By seeing these as non-personal aspects of nature, one can be at ease and in harmony with change, reducing suffering.

8. Observe “I Am” Comparisons

Pay attention to the subtle “I am” sense, especially when comparing oneself to others (better than, worse than, equal to) or thinking about oneself across time. This comparison is a pervasive, often unnoticed, contraction that causes suffering.

9. Understand Self as Designation

Recognize that “self” is merely a designation for the constantly changing flow of mind-body elements, not a substantial reality. Grasping this designation as a substantial truth causes suffering.

10. Distinguish Conventional from Ultimate

Use conventional language like “I” and “you” for communication, but avoid being seduced into believing it represents ultimate reality. Understand these are convenient designations, not substantial truths.

11. Recognize Six Elements of Experience

Understand that all experience boils down to six basic elements (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, mind objects). This simplifies life and highlights that suffering arises from mental responses, not the elements themselves.

12. Align Actions with Consequences

Understand that all actions (physical, speech, mental) have consequences. To cultivate peace and happiness, pay attention to the causes behind actions, avoiding those rooted in greed or hatred that lead to suffering.