<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>The radical shift in perspective that can come when we change our question from "what's wrong with you" to "what happened to you?"</p> <p>Dr. Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. is the Principal of the <a href="https://www.neurosequential.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Neurosequential Network</a> and a Professor (Adjunct) at the School of Allied Health, Human Services and Sport, La Trobe University, Melbourne, Victoria Australia. </p> <p>Over the last thirty years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician and researcher in children's mental health and the neurosciences holding a variety of academic positions. His work on the impact of abuse, neglect and trauma on the developing brain has impacted clinical practice, programs and policy across the world. Dr. Perry is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Raised-Psychiatrists-Notebook-What/dp/0465094457/ref=pd_vtp_1?pd_rd_w=Ili0q&pf_rd_p=528af498-141b-4488-9c82-4a6441ef9efd&pf_rd_r=DGV4XVSAJ1JP64T9Z3PG&pd_rd_r=9fc047f5-5614-440c-8be8-fab75bbac7f6&pd_rd_wg=nxbCC&pd_rd_i=0465094457&psc=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog,</a> a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Born-Love-Empathy-Essential-Endangered/dp/0061656798/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1611330466&sr=8-1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered</a>. Dr. Perry's most recent book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Understanding-Resilience/dp/1250223180/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2PNS3X5NA38GF&dchild=1&keywords=what+happened+to+you+bruce+perry&qid=1611330246&sprefix=what+happened+to+you%2Caps%2C145&sr=8-1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Understanding-Resilience/dp/1250223180/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2PNS3X5NA38GF&dchild=1&keywords=what+happened+to+you+bruce+perry&qid=1611330246&sprefix=what+happened+to+you%2Caps%2C145&sr=8-1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">(2021)</a>, co-authored with Oprah Winfrey, has been translated into 26 languages and has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for over 100 weeks after becoming #1 on the list in April of 2021.</p> <p><strong>Related Episodes:</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Art and Science of the World's Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/stephanie-foo-452" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How to Live with the Worst Things That Ever Happened to You | Stephanie Foo</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/jacob-ham-453" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/spring-washam-556" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Deep Genealogy | Spring Washam</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/jerry-colonna" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Deep, Provocative Success Strategies From the "Yoda of Silicon Valley" | Jerry Colonna</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3QtGRqJ" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>here</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Follow Dan on social:</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Instagram</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>TikTok</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Ten Percent Happier online</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/46TZglY" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>bookstore</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Subscribe to our</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>YouTube Channel</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Our favorite playlists on:</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3Qa8kMT" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Anxiety</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3MjtMxF" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Sleep</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QvyA5J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Relationships</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QxZASc" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Most Popular Episodes</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/drbruceperry</p> <p><strong>Additional Resources:</strong></p> <p>Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/install" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://10percenthappier.app.link/install</a></p>
Actionable Insights
1. Reframe “What’s Wrong” Question
Shift your perspective from asking “what’s wrong with you/me” to “what happened to you/me” to take a historical view, foster empathy, compassion, and self-forgiveness, which is essential for healing and personal growth.
2. Engage in Rhythmic Activities
Participate in pattern, repetitive, rhythmic activities like dancing, drumming, walking, swimming, or listening to music to calm and regulate core stress response networks, helping to unyoke distressful trauma memories and promote healing.
3. Cultivate Positive Micro-Interactions
Engage in brief, appropriately targeted moments of complete presence and positive relational connection with others, as these small doses provide physiological rewards, build resilience, and are the best predictor of well-being.
4. Embrace Moderate Challenges
Intentionally seek out controllable, moderately challenging experiences, such as travel, stretch assignments, or learning new skills, to step out of your comfort zone and build resilience and personal growth.
5. Practice Rupture and Repair
Recognize that disconnections (ruptures) are a natural part of human relationships and actively work on repairing and reconnecting, as this repetitive pattern strengthens connections over time.
6. Forgive Self, Keep Showing Up
Instead of quitting when you don’t meet unrealistic expectations, practice self-forgiveness, give yourself a break, and consistently “show up” again the next day, as this leads to continuous improvement and healing.
7. Understand Others’ Histories
Depersonalize others’ difficult behaviors by seeking to understand what happened to them in their past, which fosters generosity of heart, reduces personal heartbreak, and improves relational understanding.
8. Walk in Nature Regularly
Intentionally walk in nature as much as possible, even in short, frequent doses, because the natural world’s sounds and sensory elements positively affect the body and help alleviate anxiety, sadness, and trauma-related distress.
Actively build and participate in community elements and activities that create safety, stability, predictability, and bring people together, as human beings heal and build resilience in community.
10. Understand Broad Trauma Definition
Recognize that trauma encompasses not only “big T” events but also “small T” everyday experiences like marginalization, as understanding its broad impact on biology helps validate personal experiences and promotes healing.
11. Identify Maladaptive Behaviors
Pay attention to external feedback from the world and subjective feelings of distress (e.g., anxiety, panic attacks) to identify when previously adaptive behaviors have become damaging or no longer serve you.
12. Integrate Child Movement Breaks
For children, especially anxious ones, integrate frequent sensory regulatory breaks and movement (e.g., walking, dancing, music, sport) into their day, as movement and connection are key for regulation and learning.
13. Value Science Translators
Academic and scientific fields should better value and support communicators who can distill and simplify complex concepts for the public, as effective communication builds societal capacity and reduces vulnerability to misinformation.