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This Episode Will Make You Stronger | Sister Dang Nghiem

May 31, 2023 59m 34s 16 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>It's hard to be a human. No matter how good things are for you, being alive is still hard. Whatever your life circumstances are, we're all subject to impermanence and entropy. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This episode dives into a five-part Buddhist list for being stronger in the face of whatever life throws at you. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Sister Dang Nghiem, who goes by Sister D, is a nun in the Plum Village tradition and a disciple of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. She was born in Vietnam during the war, and is the daughter of a Vietnamese mother and an American soldier. Sister D experienced an unfathomable amount of loss before relocating to the US, where she became a doctor and later, after experiencing more loss, became a nun. She's written several books and her most recent is <a href="https://www.parallax.org/product/flowers-in-the-dark/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Flowers in the Dark</em></a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation, Sister D shares her story, and then walks us through The Five Strengths of Applied Zen Buddhism which include trust, diligence, mindfulness, concentration, and insight.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: This episode covers difficult topics including death, mental illness, and sexual abuse. </em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sister-dang-nghiem-403-rerun" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sister-dang-nghiem-403-rerun</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Self-Trust Through Mindfulness

Practice mindful breathing by being aware of your in-breath and out-breath, moment to moment. This trains your mind to return to your body and present experience, cultivating trust in your ability to be present for yourself and tend to your inner experiences like pain or sadness.

2. Practice Daily Sitting Meditation

Engage in formal sitting meditation daily, such as 45 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening, in a quiet, stable posture with eyes closed. This practice helps you be still, listen to your thoughts without being swept away, and be present for your inner self and any suffering.

3. Extend Mindfulness Throughout Day

Integrate mindfulness into daily activities like driving, cooking, or working by consciously bringing your mind back to the present moment and your breath. This prevents your mind from roaming unchecked, reducing negative thinking, anger, or reactivity.

4. Practice Right Diligence

Invest your time and energy in something that will bring understanding, empathy, healing, and transformation. Use moments of waiting (e.g., for a phone call) to check in with your body and quiet your mind instead of distracting yourself with screens.

5. Develop a “Now Mind”

Cultivate a “now mind” by being fully present in the here and now, aware of what’s happening in your body, thoughts, and feelings. This enables you to respond appropriately to situations from a place of clarity, rather than reacting through the lens of past experiences.

6. Focus on One Task

Practice doing one thing at a time with full awareness, recognizing that multitasking is a myth that leads to mistakes and lack of attentiveness. This allows for greater presence and effectiveness in your actions.

7. Build Concentration for Insight

Develop concentration by sustaining your awareness on a single point, like your breath, over time. This sustained focus acts as an energy that helps you “pierce through” and deeply understand complex situations or personal suffering.

8. Cultivate Insight, Release Hatred

Use concentration to look deeply into your experiences, gaining empathy and understanding for all involved, including those who may have caused suffering. This insight helps to burn away “wrong views” like self-blame, hatred, or the belief that suffering is punishment, replacing them with love and compassion.

9. Stop Running From Suffering

Learn to stop running away from difficult emotions, conflicts, or traumas in your mind, speech, and bodily actions. Instead, dwell stably with clarity in the present moment and turn towards your suffering, tending to it tenderly and lovingly like a wound.

10. Be Your Own Soulmate

Learn to “remember, know, and take good care of yourself” by mastering your feelings, thoughts, and suffering. This involves listening to your inner child or wounded self and offering presence and compassion, rather than pushing away comfort or curling up with sadness.

11. Undo Negative Habits

Actively work to undo accumulated negative habits and neural pathways that perpetuate suffering, such as pulling hair, biting nails, negative self-talk, or frequent nightmares. Through consistent practice, you can transform these patterns and prevent self-inflicted suffering.

12. Respond, Don’t React

When you notice a negative thought or immediate judgment arising towards someone or a situation, recognize it, breathe, smile, and relax your body. This allows you to respond fairly and appropriately, rather than reacting defensively through the lens of past triggers.

13. Recognize Interbeing of All

Understand that the victim and the perpetrator are interconnected, with a nature of interbeing where “you are in me and I am in you.” This perspective helps to release fear and judgment, fostering empathy and preventing the perpetuation of suffering.

14. Avoid Unmindful Consumption

Be mindful of your consumption habits, as running away from difficulties or pretending they aren’t there can cause wounds to fester. Instead of allowing unmindful consumption (e.g., distractions) to worsen your inner state, actively tend to your wounds.

15. Send Love and Kindness

Consciously send love and kindness to yourself, your body, thoughts, and feelings, and look at others with understanding and compassion. This practice contributes to being “10% happier and healthier” in each moment, fostering a state where you naturally care for others and the world.

16. Learn From History

Stop and look deeply, both individually and collectively, at past events and their consequences, such as war or retaliation. By understanding these lessons, you can avoid repeating negative patterns and instead foster better care for the human family and the planet.