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This Conversation Actually Explains Oneness With The Universe | Sebene Selassie

Aug 26, 2020 57m 7s 33 insights
<p>I grew up with that famous Groucho Marx joke, "I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member." It always resonated with me. As my grandfather would say, "I resemble that remark." We all know that belonging -- to a tribe, a family, a group of any sort -- is a key part of human happiness; science bears this out. But my guest today, Sebene Selassie, is taking this concept of belonging to a much, much deeper level. To the "oneness with the universe" level. That's obviously one of the world's greatest spiritual cliches, but in her new book, Seb unpacks and defends the concept incredibly effectively. The book is called "You Belong." Seb is a writer and teacher based in Brooklyn. She is a regular on the Ten Percent Happier app. And she is a great and valued friend. Where to find Sebene Selassie online: Website: https://www.sebeneselassie.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/sebeneselassie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sebeneselassie Book Mentioned: You Belong by Sebene Selassie: https://www.sebeneselassie.com/youbelong We care deeply about supporting you in your meditation practice, and feel that providing you with high quality teachers is one of the best ways to do that. Customers of the Ten Percent Happier app say they stick around specifically for the range of teachers, and the deep wisdom they impart, to help them deepen their practice. For anyone new to the app, we've got a special discount just for you. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/august Other Resources Mentioned: Coach Chela Davison - https://www.cheladavison.com/ The Four Elements Meditation - https://10percenthappier.app.link/FourElementsPod Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sebene-selassie-277</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Heal Internal Separation

Heal internal separations and conflicts within yourself to open the door to a deeper feeling of connection and belonging to the entire world.

2. Cultivate Self-Love, Not Contention

Cultivate loving care and attention towards yourself, rather than being in contention with who you are, to foster natural growth and reduce unhappiness.

3. Practice Formal Meditation Daily

Engage in formal meditation practice (seated, standing, or lying down) to observe difficult thoughts and emotions, welcoming them with warmth and non-judgment, which helps in daily life to avoid negative impulses in relationships.

4. Mindfulness Requires Kindness (Meta)

When practicing mindfulness, ensure it co-arises with meta (kindness and care) towards whatever you observe, as true mindfulness involves both attention and compassion.

5. Accept Paradox as Reality

Accept paradox as the truth of your reality, recognizing that seemingly contradictory truths (like separation and interconnection) can coexist.

6. Observe Argumentative Impulses

When noticing an impulse to argue or be right, observe the energy, allow it to dissipate, and stop the habit before engaging in the pattern of speech.

7. Practice Self-Meta

Practice self-meta (loving-kindness meditation directed towards oneself) as a primary practice, especially if you find it challenging, to cultivate self-compassion.

8. Study Self, Forget Self

Study the self deeply to eventually forget the self and experience oneness with all things, as taught by Zen master Dogen.

9. Counter Productivity Pathology

Make concerted efforts to take breaks and create non-productive time, including in meditation practice, to counter the ‘pathology of productivity’ and foster well-being.

10. Set Technology Boundaries

Set clear boundaries with technology, including turning off devices, leaving phones in another room, or going outside without gadgets, to create more space and reduce distraction.

11. Balance Differences & Interconnection

Practice balancing the paradox of acknowledging both differences/difficulties and fundamental interconnection, recognizing your own tendencies to lean towards one or the other.

12. Self-Reflect on Tendencies

Self-reflect to identify your personal tendencies to gravitate towards either difference or interconnection, and actively work on balancing these perspectives.

13. Apply Interconnection to Disagreement

Apply the awareness of interconnection to people and situations you disagree with or find challenging, recognizing that you belong to all of it.

14. Practice Imaginative Meta

Practice an imaginative meta-style exercise by tracing the life story of someone you disagree with, to cultivate understanding and reduce suffering caused by needing others to be different.

15. Meet Present Reality for Energy

Meet present moment reality without contention or wishing for a different past, to preserve energy for fighting for future change.

16. Give Up Needing Others Different

Give up the need for people to be different than they are to prevent feelings of superiority and dominating behaviors like belittling or shaming.

17. Reduce Superiority for Energy

Turn down the volume on superiority and separation, as fighting against the truth of reality saps energy and prevents clarity, which is essential for liberation and effective action.

18. Reconnect to Internal Belonging

Reconnect to the internal truth that you have always belonged, even when experiencing feelings of not belonging or physical isolation, as belonging starts from within.

19. Acknowledge Unconscious Biases

Observe and acknowledge your own unconscious biases, even if it’s embarrassing, as a necessary step towards understanding and addressing them.

20. Practice Four Elements Mindfulness

Practice mindfulness of the four elements (earth, fire, water, air) in your body to connect with the understanding that you are made of the same stuff as nature and are not separate from it.

21. Embrace ‘We Are Nature’

Embrace the notion that ‘we are nature’ to dissolve boundaries and apply it to all aspects of yourself, including ‘uglier or sillier’ tendencies, seeing them as part of nature.

22. Balance Mystery & Social Realities

Explore the balance between acknowledging mystery and engaging with the complexities of social realities, avoiding dismissal of either.

23. Attune to Everyday Connection

Be attuned to the possibility of experiencing connection and belonging in everyday moments, such as with a child or in nature, not just formal meditation.

24. Engage in Heart Practices

Engage in heart practices like meta (loving-kindness meditation), wishing well to others, to experience its powerful effects on your own body and potentially on others.

25. Question ‘Woo-Woo’ Dismissals

Notice when you use terms like ‘woo-woo’ and reflect on what you might be dismissing, particularly indigenous ways of knowing rooted in mystery.

26. Create Personal Rituals

Create personal rituals, such as lighting candles and making offerings at an ancestor altar, to frame and structure creative or daily processes.

27. Call on Ancestral Wisdom

When engaging with ancestral connection, call upon the wisdom and wellness of all your ancestors, recognizing both their strengths and the survival mechanisms behind their unskillful behaviors.

28. Dance for Embodiment

Engage in dancing to reconnect with your body and challenge feelings of self-consciousness or embarrassment about moving your body in front of others.

29. Practice Dancing Privately

Practice dancing, even in private (e.g., in your bedroom), to shed self-consciousness and become more comfortable in your body.

30. Study Social Justice Leaders

Dive into the teachings of spiritual social justice leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and healing justice movements to understand transformation, abolition, and true freedom.

31. Mindful Approach to Objects

Adopt a mindful approach to objects and experiences, honoring them as having a living presence (as in Marie Kondo’s method rooted in Shinto wisdom), to recognize that you are embedded in belonging.

32. Claim 10% Happier Discount

Visit 10% dot com slash August for a discount on the 10% Happier app.

33. Teachers: Get Free App Access

Teachers and educators can get free access to the 10% Happier app by visiting 10% dot com slash care.