Learn and combine multiple healthy tools (e.g., individual, relational, environmental) to manage inner chatter effectively, as no single tool works for all situations.
When struggling with chatter, silently coach yourself through the problem using your own name and the second-person pronoun ‘you’ (e.g., ‘Alright, Ethan, how are you going to manage this situation?’). This shifts your perspective into a coaching mode, similar to how you’d advise a friend, allowing for more objective and supportive self-dialogue.
When facing a stressful situation, consciously reframe it as a challenge rather than a threat by asking ‘What’s required of me?’ and affirming ‘Yes, I can do this.’ This mental shift can improve performance under stress and lead to better feelings.
When experiencing acute stress or chatter, mentally fast-forward to six months or a year in the future to consider how you’ll feel about the situation then. This helps recognize the temporary nature of current difficulties, providing hope and a broader perspective.
Write about your deepest thoughts and feelings to create a narrative around your experiences. This acts as a distancing tool, allowing you to view yourself as a character in a story, fostering closure and helping you move on from negative thought loops.
Actively recall and savor past positive experiences, triumphs, or moments of joy (e.g., a successful presentation, a child’s achievement, a great vacation). This mental time travel can boost happiness and provide a source of satisfaction.
Engage in a rigid sequence of behaviors (a ritual) when under stress or experiencing chatter. This structured progression provides a sense of control and order, compensating for feelings of lack of control and helping to regulate internal states.
When experiencing chatter, use physical self-touch (e.g., patting your chest) to activate a stress-fighting response in the body. This primitive soothing mechanism can help alleviate negative mental states.
When reflecting on personal struggles or mistakes, use the ‘universal you’ (e.g., ‘When you miss a shot, you don’t know what to do’) to normalize the experience. This linguistic shift creates psychological space, making the experience feel less personal and more universally human, offering comfort.
Use ’lucky charms’ or similar objects to capitalize on the placebo effect. If you believe something will make you feel better, that expectation can activate psychological and neural processes that bring about the desired positive outcome.
Deliberately select a small group of trusted individuals (a ‘personal board of advisors’) who are skilled at providing ‘validate and broaden’ support, rather than just fueling negativity. Rely on this board during difficult times.
When seeking support for chatter, find individuals who will first allow you to vent and feel heard, then gently nudge you to broaden your perspective and reframe the situation. Avoid conversations that only involve venting, as they can reactivate negativity.
Actively advise or coach others through their problems, as making other people feel better has reverberating positive effects on your own well-being and helps you address similar problems more objectively.
When someone you know is struggling with chatter but hasn’t asked for help, offer support ‘invisibly’ to avoid eliciting a defensive reaction. This can involve alleviating burdens, sharing helpful resources broadly, or offering appropriate physical affection.
Leverage social media platforms to intentionally seek or provide support for chatter, such as putting out requests for help or contributing to supportive movements. Avoid passive consumption (e.g., FOMO-inducing scrolling) which can exacerbate negative feelings.
Participate in rituals with others to activate feelings of awe, which occur when contemplating something vast or indescribable. This can lead to a ‘shrinking of the self,’ making personal concerns feel smaller and reducing immersion in chatter.
Spend time in safe green spaces (parks, tree-lined streets) to gently divert attention away from chatter and recharge depleted mental resources. The natural surroundings can also trigger feelings of awe, further reducing immersion in self-focused negativity.
When experiencing chatter, organize and tidy your surroundings (e.g., clean your office, wash dishes). This act of ordering your physical world provides a sense of control, which can compensate for feelings of lacking control over your internal state.