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The Upside of Apocalypse | Lama Rod Owens

Mar 11, 2022 1h 30 insights
<p>We're now entering year three of the pandemic, and even though we're in a very different stage of the game, there are still so many questions: Is it safe or ethical to return to "normal"? How do you deal with people who have different views on safety and vaccines? What do you do if you're just bone tired of this whole mess?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today's guest is Lama Rod Owens, who was trained in the Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism, holds a Master of Divinity degree in Buddhist Studies from Harvard Divinity School, and is the author of the book <a href="https://bookshop.org/books/love-and-rage-the-path-of-liberation-through-anger-9781623174095/9781623174095" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger</em></a>. Lama Rod has been kind enough to come on to the show during moments of crisis. I spoke with him shortly after the murder of George Floyd and also during the 2020 elections. As you're about to hear, one of the core arguments he will make is that apocalypse (and he has a broad understanding of what that word means) can present an opportunity. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This episode explores:</p> <ul> <li>The benefits of having an existing practice in times of heightened anxiety and uncertainty.</li> <li>Developing a direct, open relationship with fear.</li> <li>Working with regret.</li> <li>Why taking care of yourself is not selfish.</li> <li>Lama Rod's take on social media and watching TV as a way to reset. </li> <li>The obstacles to empathy. </li> <li>A more expansive definition of the word violence. </li> <li>A jarring New York Times article that posits that the recent rise in pedestrian deaths could be in part due to social erosion created by the pandemic.</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lama-rod-owens-427</a></p> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Commit to Daily Practice

Commit to a daily personal practice (e.g., meditation) to build resilience and prevent difficult emotions like anxiety, fear, and fatigue from becoming overwhelming over time. This practice helps you meet emotions, experience them, and let them go, rather than getting caught up in reactivity.

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Prioritize self-care, as it’s not selfish but essential for your well-being and ability to effectively care for others. By understanding and meeting your own needs, you become less of a burden and more capable of service.

3. Engage in Regular Rest

Engage in regular rest and self-care practices to ensure your longevity and ability to remain helpful over the long term, rather than burning out by investing everything in immediate responses to urgency.

4. Open Relationship with Fear

Develop a direct and open relationship with fear by asking what it’s preventing you from doing and what you’re truly afraid of. Consider what you will regret if fear dominates your choices, but also discern if fear is signaling a lack of resources for an endeavor.

5. Cultivate an Open Heart

Cultivate an open heart, as this vulnerability can dissolve fear by reversing the energy of aversion and rigidity, allowing for fluidity, interconnectedness, and space to respond rather than react.

6. Empathize with Yourself First

Begin the practice of empathy by first empathizing with yourself, acknowledging your own pain and discomfort, which then allows you to recognize that others are also experiencing similar struggles.

7. Set Personal Boundaries

Create clear boundaries around your accessibility (e.g., public work, personal interactions) and personal needs to protect your mental health and ensure you have time for self-care, especially if you find yourself overextended.

8. Avoid Destructive Conversations

Avoid repeatedly engaging in conversations or pushing others to change their beliefs when you know it will lead to conflict or a ‘dead end,’ especially with family members, to prevent harm to the relationship.

9. Model Choices, Don’t Force

Maintain important relationships by modeling your choices around safety and health without forcing others to adopt them, allowing them agency while still expressing love and reducing harm.

10. Know When to Back Off

Be clear about your boundaries and how far you’re willing to go in influencing others’ choices; sometimes reducing harm means backing off and holding space, connecting to your own grief about their choices.

11. Recognize Emotional Violence

Expand your understanding of violence beyond physical harm to include emotional harm, recognizing when personal boundaries are crossed, leading to disappointment, confusion, or a loss of trust in yourself or others.

12. Shift to Responsiveness

By creating internal space through practices like an open heart, you can shift from habitual reactivity to thoughtful responsiveness, enabling you to choose actions that are helpful rather than merely avoiding discomfort.

13. Invite Discomfort for Freedom

Rather than avoiding discomfort, invite it in, as this counterintuitive approach can lead to greater freedom than constantly trying to suppress or escape pain.

14. Accept Outrage and Anger

Accept outrage, anger, and fury as natural emotions, rather than judging or getting mad at yourself for experiencing them, as this acceptance is key to developing resiliency.

15. Consult Loved Ones

Consult with people who love you and are invested in your well-being about their perception of your choices, especially when navigating tricky emotions like fear, to gain external perspective and support.

16. Empathy Needs Self-Care

Cultivate empathy by first ensuring you have enough self-care to feel safe and open to reflect on others’ discomfort, as being overwhelmed with your own discomfort can shut down the capacity for empathy.

17. Practice Mindful Driving

Be highly aware and attentive while driving, as being overwhelmed or distracted can lead to dangerous choices and a loss of focus on basic safety, causing you to ‘coast’ on critical tasks.

18. Rebuild Resiliency Through Restoration

Actively seek restoration to rebuild your resiliency, which is your capacity to bounce back from stress and overwhelm, by figuring out what sparks joy, inspiration, or provides rest.

19. Expand Personal Practice

Supplement meditation with other personal practices like yoga, exercise, and creating a sense of ‘home making’ to cultivate a restorative refuge, especially for introverts who recharge in solitude.

20. Protect Home as Refuge

Actively protect the boundary of your home as a refuge for restoration by saying ’no’ to external demands and scheduling time for stillness, silence, and enjoyable activities.

21. Reconnect to Fun

Make a conscious effort to reconnect with activities that bring you pleasure and fun, even if traditional outlets are disrupted, by finding alternative ways to experience restoration.

22. Use Entertainment Skillfully

Utilize entertainment (e.g., streaming services) skillfully as a form of self-care for temporary breaks from the world, but avoid self-indulgence by ensuring you return to important work and relationships once restored.

23. Share Resources Communally

Foster communal living by sharing resources and support with friends, family, and neighbors, especially for parents or those feeling overwhelmed, to create opportunities for breaks and mutual care.

24. Question Overextended Life

Critically question why your life is so overextended that you lack time for self-care or family, and consider making different choices to prevent work from dictating your life.

25. Disrupt Over-Consumption

Disrupt patterns of over-consumption by asking what you truly need and what you can do without, recognizing that materialism often serves as a substitute for internal emotional labor.

26. Internal Practice Reduces Materialism

Cultivate a rich, direct, kind, and loving internal practice of self-care to reduce reliance on material consumption for emotional well-being, allowing you to engage with the material world more mindfully and disrupt over-consuming habits.

27. Reinvest in Restorative Things

When consuming less, reinvest your energy and resources into things that are truly restorative for yourself and others, which can lead to more authentic engagement and the ability to hold space for people.

28. Redistribute Excess Resources

If you find yourself over-resourced, consider how you can authentically care for people by offering extra resources to others in need.

29. View Apocalypse as Opportunity

Reframe ‘apocalypse’ not as an end, but as an opportunity for profound shift, unveiling, and the emergence of truth, especially during times of multiple, simultaneous changes, to touch into underlying reality.

30. Practice Constant Self-Inquiry

Practice constant self-inquiry throughout the day by asking ‘What do I need right now?’, ‘How am I doing?’, ‘How’s my mind/body?’, and ‘What do other people need around me?’ to maintain self-awareness and ensure you are resourced.