Deepen self-knowledge and acceptance through meditation by observing your heart, mind, and body, embracing your authentic self and the ’not-self’ view (anatta) to see experiences as nature unfolding without personal attachment, which enhances intimacy, connection, and overall well-being.
Use meditation practice to identify and decouple from unconscious biases (e.g., patriarchy, objectification, consumerism) related to sex and body image, recognizing them as illusions to foster genuine intimate connection.
Engage sex as a meditation practice to learn about your mind, body, and heart, recognizing its potential for awakening within the spiritual path.
Bring mindfulness meditation into sex by coming home to your body, feeling sensations from the inside out, and allowing all emotions (shame, insecurity, fear) to arise, which can free you from cultural conditioning and neuroses.
Unplug from all screens (phones, computers, TV) and lie down with your partner for 10-20 minutes to let the day wash off, then initiate gentle physical contact like holding hands or making eye contact, and re-inhabit your body by feeling its sensations (even unpleasant ones) to act authentically and foster genuine sexual union.
Decenter intercourse by breaking down the traditional script of sex (e.g., obsession with ejaculation as the endpoint) to allow for more creative and varied sensual and sexual encounters.
Practice moment-to-moment mindfulness during sex by radically allowing whatever arises (thoughts, fantasies, distractions, sensations) and communicating it honestly to your partner, breaking free from prescribed formulas.
Apply the ’not-self’ view to sex by not taking experiences personally, seeing them as nature unfolding, which reduces seriousness, performance anxiety, and fosters self-knowledge and freedom.
Practice breaking through resistance to sex (similar to meditation) by engaging in ‘unsexy foreplay’ like slowing down and unplugging, allowing difficult emotions to arise, and being silly to find openness and learn from the experience.
Explore self-touch and personal sexuality to understand resistance, shame, and what feels good in your body, fostering a sense of wholeness and independence in intimate encounters and tapping into a wellspring of energy and wholesome desire.
Prioritize sensuality (alone and with others) beyond intercourse, using meditation principles to dismantle biases through everyday sensory experiences, conversations, and shared activities, treating these as important ‘foreplay’ for deeper intimacy.
Seek partners who are open to a more playful, open, spontaneous, and mindfulness-oriented approach to sexuality, and invite them to explore these practices early in a relationship.
Communicate your interests and desired approach to intimacy early in a relationship (e.g., by sharing books or discussing preferences) to ’train’ your partner and set expectations.
Be embodied during sex to wake up your body, making it more alive and vivid, which can open your heart, senses, and contribute to a more whole and full human experience that extends into daily life and meditation.
Re-engage in sexual exploration after a period of celibacy to reawaken eros and a special sense of connection with a partner, beyond spiritual friendship.
Identify areas of life (like sex or eating) where you operate on autopilot and intentionally bring mindful awareness to them for exploration and growth.
Use goofy warm-up exercises (shaking, laughing, dancing) before intimacy to shake off stress and prepare for genuine connection.
Consider a period of celibacy (no two-person or one-person sex) to concentrate more fully on meditation practice and mark life transitions.
Shave your head (especially if female) as a practice of non-clinging and to explore identity beyond body image, accepting the initial difficulty for potential joy and freedom.
Dance to incredibly stupid pop music to shake out jangled nerves before an important event or conversation.
Sign up for the ‘Summer Sanity Challenge,’ a free 21-day meditation challenge offering daily short videos and guided meditations, to start or deepen a meditation practice.