The Science of Optimal Performance—at Work and Beyond | Daniel Goleman

1. Lower Perfectionist Standards

Relax your standards and don’t be so self-judgmental; instead of focusing only on what you did wrong, notice and applaud what you did really well to achieve an “optimal day.”

2. Only Do What’s Easy

Adopt the productivity hack of “only doing what’s easy” on any given day, accumulating enough small wins to build momentum and create a tapestry of work that eventually makes connecting everything within a framework easier.

3. Practice Mindful Focus

Engage in mind training methods like focusing on the breath (meditation) to develop one-pointedness, which helps overcome distractedness and leads to more optimal states and better performance.

4. Reframe Meditation Distractions

When meditating and you notice your mind wandering or judging yourself (e.g., “this is humiliating”), simply acknowledge it as another thought or distraction and gently bring your focus back to the breath without judgment.

5. Prioritize Self-Care for Burnout Prevention

To sustain yourself and prevent burnout, actively manage disturbing emotions, strengthen nourishing relationships, and build dedicated private time into your day for self-care activities like yoga, meditation, or exercise, ensuring you don’t skip them as they are crucial for recovery.

6. Practice Self-Compassion & Assertiveness

Understand that true compassion includes self-compassion, meaning you must take care of your own well-being, which involves being assertive about your needs (e.g., better pay, time off) and having candid conversations, rather than sacrificing your well-being for harmony.

7. Practice Mindful Recovery from Triggers

When triggered or upset, instead of obsessing, practice dropping the emotion by stepping back from what’s happening and being mindful in that moment, which short-circuits the upset and aids recovery.

8. Practice Reflective Listening

To become a better listener, restrain yourself from interrupting and focus on hearing the other person out, then paraphrase what they’ve said in your own words and ask, “Did I get it right?” before sharing your own thoughts.

9. State Positive Intention Before Feedback

Before delivering feedback, explicitly state your positive intention by explaining why you are sharing it (e.g., “This relationship is important to me, and I want us to work better together”), which helps the recipient be more receptive and less defensive.

10. Give Feedback with Compassionate Candor

When giving feedback, practice “compassionate candor” by being honest while also clearly communicating that you care about the person and are offering an opportunity for learning and improvement, rather than just criticism.

11. Be Clear and Caring

Adopt the principle that “clear is kind” by being candid and explicit in your communication, especially when delivering difficult messages, ensuring you also convey care and positive intention to prevent misunderstanding and foster receptiveness.

12. Seek Empathy Feedback

To develop empathy, actively seek feedback by asking others if your assumptions about their feelings or thoughts are correct (e.g., “It seems to me you’re feeling X, is that right?”), which helps your brain learn accuracy.

13. Keep a Triggering Journal

To improve emotional balance and resilience, keep a journal to track what triggers you and what upsets you daily, helping you become more aware of your vulnerable spots and how emotions operate in your life.

14. Focus on One EI Skill

When working on emotional intelligence, pick one specific skill to improve and commit to ongoing practice, as short workshops are ineffective; consistent, deliberate practice over time is essential for neuroplasticity and lasting change.

15. Develop Empathy for Future Relevance

In an era of artificial intelligence, prioritize developing true empathy and compassion, as these are uniquely human abilities that AI cannot replicate and will become increasingly crucial for leadership, connection, and societal challenges.

16. Cultivate Systems Thinking & Shared Purpose

To address future challenges, cultivate the ability to understand complex systems (economic, political, ecological) and foster a shared sense of purpose to work together for a greater good beyond self-interest, encouraging creativity and innovation.

17. Promote EI in Organizations

Leaders should explicitly communicate that emotional intelligence matters within the organization, make it part of performance reviews (evaluating how numbers were achieved), and provide effective, ongoing training opportunities for employees to develop these skills.

18. Establish Team Interaction Norms

For optimal team performance, conduct an assessment where team members rate each other on interaction behaviors (e.g., listening, interrupting) to identify strengths and weaknesses, then collectively agree upon and establish explicit norms for how the team will interact.

19. Practice “Angel’s Advocate” for New Ideas

When a new, creative idea is presented, adopt the norm of being an “angel’s advocate” by supporting the idea and exploring its potential before critiquing it, as new ideas are fragile and need nurturing.

20. Reinforce Team Norms Playfully

To effectively reinforce team norms, especially those against interrupting, use lighthearted and non-dire methods (like pelting with toy animals) or simply point out when a norm is broken, making it a fun and constructive way to maintain agreed-upon behaviors.

21. Align EI Training with Motivation

When offering emotional intelligence development, prioritize the individual’s self-motivation by understanding what they want for themselves and what matters to them, then frame the learning in that personal context rather than imposing it.