Care for other people, as this is what truly makes human beings happy and constitutes ‘wise selfishness’.
Actively work to improve your capacity for compassion and connection, as it is trainable and leads to happiness.
Apply the same concern for suffering to your own life circumstances, honoring your right not to suffer and reorienting away from a hostile inner voice.
Approach your own stressful experiences with self-compassion to foster efficacy and control, motivating action to relieve stress and build resilience.
Do not respond to stress with rumination, self-criticism, or stoicism (stifling emotions), as these prolong and intensify chronic stress.
When encountering suffering, cultivate the urge and intention to do something to help and alleviate that suffering.
When feeling empathy, channel that feeling into activating your care and nurturing systems, as empathy alone is not sufficient for compassion.
Extend compassion to others, as this activates reward pathways in the brain, making it intrinsically pleasurable and reinforcing.
Practice generosity and give to others, as this lights up reward pathways in the brain, making it intrinsically reinforcing.
Recognize that you don’t have to ‘fix’ everything to feel compassion, especially in overwhelming situations, to prevent emotional shutdown.
Practice mindfulness to cultivate greater awareness of your mental responses to suffering, helping to interrogate reflexive judgments and shift perspective.
Interrogate immediate judgments about others’ suffering (e.g., unworthiness) or your own ability to help (e.g., cost-benefit analysis) to unravel unhelpful thought patterns.
Engage in Tonglen meditation by visualizing breathing in suffering, transforming it within yourself, and breathing out healing and love to strengthen your motivation for service.
Seek and engage in ‘Love 2.0’ moments by exchanging goodwill, understanding, and benevolence with others, without assuming threat or competition.
Apply compassion and love with discernment, avoiding excusing malevolent behavior or engaging with those who mean to do you harm.
Engage in caregiving and supportive interactions with others to release oxytocin, strengthening social bonds and increasing feelings of trust and affection.
Regularly perform simple random acts of kindness, such as holding a door or offering specific thanks, as this scientifically increases happiness.
Distinguish compassion from pity, as pity implies deserved suffering or inferiority, while compassion involves genuine concern for welfare.
Feel compassion for someone’s suffering even if you do not endorse their actions or choices, as compassion is about addressing suffering, not absolving responsibility.
Do not mistake compassion for taking on someone else’s pain or getting lost in empathic distress, as true compassion involves relating without mirroring suffering.
Strive to be good, as this is the fundamental route to a healthier, longer, and happier life.
Channel and strengthen pro-social abilities like attuning to others, being responsive, and finding delight in others’ pleasure to improve your overall well-being.
Cultivate your own happiness and kindness, recognizing that these have positive global consequences and make the world a better place.
Do not limit your capacity for compassion, as it is an indefatigable resource that is fulfilling and healthy for yourself.
Be generous, kind, and supportive of others to create meaningful social bonds, which serve as a source of support and personal well-being.
Reduce excessive self-focus, as constantly thinking about yourself does not lead to happiness.
Actively seek and utilize social support from others, as being with friends makes the world an easier place to navigate.
Focus on the quality of your social connections rather than the quantity, as quality is more important for happiness.
If you are an introvert, engage in happiness-boosting social activities, as these actions have a greater positive effect on introverts than extroverts.
If you genuinely desire happiness but find it challenging, push yourself out of your comfort zone to engage in happiness-boosting behaviors.
Avoid cheating or being mean, as any short-term ‘buzz’ is often outweighed by long-term consequences, including internal feelings of unfairness.
Recognize that compassion is a strength and an act of courage, as being an agent of support for others is often harder than walking away.
View compassion as beneficial and advantageous, not as a costly sacrifice or drain, due to its positive impact on relationships and personal well-being.
Embark on a lifelong quest for understanding real happiness in life.
Err on the side of connecting with others, such as striking up friendly conversations, rather than assuming threat or exasperation.
Understand that compassion is a fundamental human tendency, distinct from mere politeness or courteousness.
Use the 10% Happier app to access meditations specifically designed to help you cultivate a more generous frame of mind.
Explore resources from greatergood.berkeley.edu, ggia.berkeley.edu (Greater Good in Action for practices), and edx.org (Science of Happiness course) to learn and apply scientific insights.