Develop a flexible self-identity not rigidly attached to specific roles or pursuits, allowing for greater adaptability when circumstances inevitably change.
Instead of specific pursuits, attach your identity to the underlying features that truly light you up (e.g., human connection, impact) so you can find these traits in other activities if circumstances shift.
Cultivate a mindset that is open to all the nuanced ways a change might affect you and others, rather than categorizing it simply as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ which builds resilience.
Actively resist the human desire for perfect information and certainty, especially when it’s not available, to become more resilient and comfortable with ambiguity during times of change.
Consciously reframe your self-identity as someone who excels or thrives during uncertainty and is challenge-oriented, which helps in navigating unexpected changes.
Recognize that humans are poor forecasters of how big changes will truly affect them, and approach transitions with humility, expecting outcomes to be more complex than initially predicted.
Regularly assess how a significant change is impacting you in unexpected ways, both positive and negative, to gain a more nuanced and accurate understanding of its effects.
Understand that your mind is naturally wired to create narratives and find meaning in experiences, which can serve as an ally in processing change and hardship, even if the conclusions aren’t always positive.
When facing problems, distance yourself by imagining you are giving advice to a friend, adopting a third-person perspective to see issues more clearly, objectively, and avoid emotional entrapment.
Choose carefully who you vent to, ensuring they understand that sometimes you need cognitive reframing strategies and perspective, not just commiseration, to move towards a more productive state.
Create simple, consistent daily rituals that are easy to perform, as they provide a sense of control and stability when the world around you feels uncertain or overwhelming.
Actively seek out experiences of awe and beauty, whether in nature or man-made, to gain perspective, distance yourself from ego and anxieties, and feel a healthy sense of smallness in the universe.
Use natural transition points like birthdays, new homes, or the start of a week to integrate new habits, as the mind is more open to new behaviors during these ‘reset moments.’
Take ownership over your goals by defining your own targets, as this increases motivation and makes you more likely to achieve them compared to being given goals by others.
If goals are externally imposed, seek or request a set of options from which to choose, as this fosters a sense of ownership and increases motivation.
Bridge empathy gaps between your present and future self by setting goals when you are in a psychological and physiological state similar to when you’ll be working towards them, to ensure realistic and achievable targets.
When rewarding yourself for work or progress, focus on metrics that reflect quality or completion rather than just time spent, to avoid ‘running out the clock’ and ensure genuine effort.
Be mindful of the ‘middle problem’ where motivation drops; structure goals or tasks to have shorter or non-existent middles (e.g., break annual goals into monthly/weekly mini-goals) to maintain consistent motivation.
To motivate yourself, give advice to others who are pursuing similar goals, as this process helps you recall successful past behaviors and form specific action plans for your own future.
Pair an activity you find unpleasant (e.g., working out, folding laundry) with one you find immediately rewarding (e.g., listening to favorite music/podcast), reserving the reward only for the unpleasant activity, to make the harder task more appealing.