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The Profound Upsides of Mortality | Nikki Mirghafori, PhD

Dec 18, 2019 1h 37m 24 insights
Nikki Mirghafori has been an Artificial Intelligence scientist for nearly three decades. She never intended to become a Buddhist teacher, but after establishing herself in her AI career, she devoted her time to extensive meditation training. She now teaches Dharma internationally. In this fascinating discussion, Nikki details her extraordinary life experiences. From growing up in Iran during the Iran-Iraq War, to writing a thank you letter to a tick that gave her Lyme disease. She talks about her meditation practice today and how it has evolved from when she first started. And she dives into the process and benefits of one of her more challenging teachings, the Mindfulness of Death. Plugzone: Nikki's Website: https://www.nikkimirghafori.com/ The Most Venerable Pa-Auk Tawya Sayadaw Bhaddanta Acinna: https://www.paaukforestmonastery.org/about-us Podcast Episode #10 Leigh Brasington: https://podcasts.apple.com/my/podcast/10-leigh-brasington/id1087147821?i=1000367352158 Ten Percent Happier Gift: https://www.tenpercent.com/gift Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
Actionable Insights

1. Mindfulness of Death Practice

Regularly contemplate ’this could be my last breath,’ ’this could be my last bite,’ or ’these could be my last steps’ to deeply internalize life’s impermanence. This practice helps to truly feel the reality of limited time, rather than just knowing it intellectually.

2. Align Life with Values

Use mindfulness of death to internalize the scarcity and preciousness of time, which naturally helps align daily activities with your deepest values. This approach is more effective than resolutions for living a life that reflects what truly matters to you.

3. Practice for Awakening & Freedom

Engage in Maranasati (mindfulness of death) as a practice of letting go, which can lead to greater awakening, freedom, and ease in daily life. This helps reduce contraction around the idea of non-existence and fosters a sense of liberation.

4. Liberating Death Experience

Practice letting go throughout life, especially through mindfulness of death, to prepare for a liberating and peaceful experience at the moment of death. This allows one to die without fear, embracing the mystery with peace, ease, and even joy.

5. Overcome Fear of Death

Cultivate a lack of fear of death to free up significant psychic energy, reducing the need for avoidance behaviors and numbing activities. This allows for a more engaged and less anxious way of living.

6. Gift Peace to Loved Ones

Work through your own fear of death and make peace with mortality, as this provides a profound gift of peace and a valuable teaching to your loved ones. Your calm acceptance can support them through their own grief and eventual passing.

7. Be Present for Dying Loved Ones

By making peace with your own mortality, you can be more present, calm, and supportive for loved ones during their dying process. This allows you to respect their wishes and create a peaceful environment.

8. Cultivate Life Gratitude

Reframe death as a natural part of life’s cycle, rather than a mistake or injustice, to cultivate a deep sense of gratitude for the opportunity to live. This shift in perspective frees up energy for appreciation instead of regret or wanting more.

9. Sharpen Lived Experience

Practice mindfulness of death to sharpen your appreciation and intensify your experience of life, making each moment more vivid and raw. This enhances the quality of your daily existence by bringing a heightened sense of presence.

10. Daily Five Reflections

Practice the five daily reflections each morning to remind yourself of aging, illness, karma, death, and the impermanence of all loved things. This routine fosters acceptance and non-attachment to what is transient.

11. Corpse Contemplation Practice

If feasible, engage in corpse contemplation (or charnel ground contemplation) by observing images or actual decomposition. This practice helps develop a healthy, humble relationship with the body’s natural impermanence and its return to nature.

12. Persist in Death Mindfulness

Persist in mindfulness of death practice despite the ego’s resistance, which psychologists call terror management theory. Imagine your last breath and make peace with it to overcome the inherent fear of mortality.

13. Ground Terror in Practice

When terror arises during mindfulness of death, ground yourself, titrate the experience, and make peace with dying by affirming ‘I am going to die, and it’s okay.’ This helps stabilize the mind and move through deeper layers of fear.

14. Death Mindfulness Not Suicidal

Understand that mindfulness of death is not about wanting to die, but about appreciating life’s preciousness and fostering a deep wish to live fully. It should have the opposite effect of suicidality, making everything more vivid.

15. Embrace Unwanted Challenges

Embrace unwanted challenges as opportunities for personal growth in compassion and wisdom. Difficult experiences, when embraced, can push you to grow in ways you never thought possible.

16. Dedicated Contemplation Leave

Consider taking a dedicated leave of absence (e.g., a year or more) for intensive meditation and contemplation practice. This allows for a deep dive into existential questions and spiritual development.

17. Samatha Mind Unification

Engage in samatha (unification/tranquility) meditation practices to collect, unify, settle, calm, and stabilize the mind. This process makes the mind malleable and prepares it for deeper insight (vipassana).

18. Practice Vitaka & Vichara

In meditation, practice vitaka (connecting with the object) and vichara (sustaining attention on the object) to unify the mind. Imagine rubbing a bowl, connecting and sustaining your attention.

19. Seek Jhana Teacher Guidance

Seek guidance from an experienced teacher when practicing jhanas to understand and support the arising of jhanic factors. A guide is really helpful for navigating these deep states of absorption.

20. Seek a Meditation Teacher

Seek out a meditation teacher to guide your practice, as their experience and presence can significantly enhance your progress. Having a teacher can make a big difference in your journey.

21. Four Meditation Positions

Practice meditation in any of the four classic positions: sitting, standing, lying down, or walking. Choose the position that best suits your body and circumstances for comfort and effectiveness.

22. Retreat Accommodations for Pain

If you have physical pain (e.g., lower back pain), be aware that meditation retreats offer various accommodations like chairs, lying down positions, standing, and supportive paraphernalia (cushions, blankets, back jacks). This ensures you can practice comfortably.

23. Gift 10% Happier App

Give the gift of sanity this holiday season by purchasing a subscription to the 10% Happier app for someone. There’s a 40% discount available at tenpercent.com/gift.

24. Use 10% Happier App

Utilize the 10% Happier app for its library of over 500 guided meditations on topics like anxiety, parenting, productivity, focus, and sleep. It also offers short ‘wisdom bombs’ and courses.