Reflect on 3-5 things you value most and what you stand for. Then, track how you spend your time (using a pie chart or similar) and actively seek to create more overlap between your values and your daily actions, as this builds a buffer zone, empowers you, and provides sustained uplift.
Be deliberate about your everyday connections, prioritizing meaningful conversations and shared experiences over superficial small talk or large, less intimate gatherings. Giving full attention by putting away your phone and offering ‘invisible support’ (small favors) fosters connection and provides a powerful uplift.
Dedicate free time to hobbies that stretch you, where you learn something, or feel you’re growing, rather than solely engaging in passive leisure. These ‘desirable difficulties’ build a reservoir of resilience and vitality, even if you’re only mediocre at them.
Instead of broad labels like ‘happy’ or ‘sad,’ strive to be as specific and precise as possible about your emotions, almost putting ‘police tape’ around them. This allows you to act on your feelings and feel less overwhelmed, enhancing the richness and nuance of your experience.
Seek opportunities to add value in ways that feel meaningful and purposeful, such as volunteering or doing favors for others. Research shows that spending on others or giving back provides a sustained ‘warm glow of giving’ and is a powerful antidote to stress.
To overcome inertia and make desired actions easier, reduce the effort required to start. For example, put on workout clothes in the morning, buy stamps to have them ready, or place sneakers by the door to facilitate going for a walk.
Apply the WHOOP framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) to bridge the intention-action gap. Clearly define your Wish, visualize the positive Outcome, identify the Obstacle, and then create a concrete Plan to overcome it, helping you operationalize your goals.
To disrupt repetitive negative thoughts, spend 20 minutes outdoors or look at something green, as nature is a powerful interrupter. Additionally, practice self-distancing by asking how you’d advise a friend in the same situation, what your future self would suggest, or what an admired person would do.
When facing a challenge or wanting to embody a better version of yourself, think of someone you admire and ask, ‘What would they do in this moment?’ This emulation helps you tap into and embody strengths you already possess, getting closer to your ideal self.
Adopt a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth and normalizes failure as a part of trying. Asking ‘What did you fail at today?’ can help shift perspective, encouraging resilience and the development of skills to tackle difficulties.
To motivate yourself to repeat beneficial activities, track how you feel immediately before and after engaging in them. A visual reminder, like a chart on the refrigerator, can help you recognize the positive impact and overcome inertia on subsequent days.
Be flexible and accepting of moments when you or others cope in less-than-ideal ways, such as getting drunk or overeating. Recognizing these as part of being human allows for a more compassionate view rather than expecting constant graceful coping.