The Neuroscience Of: Emotional Regulation, Relationships, Body Image, And Intuition | Emma Seppälä

1. Pursue Sovereignty for Freedom

Regain awareness of self-defeating patterns to live a life-supporting way, show up as your best self, be resilient, and contribute more, leading to greater happiness and health.

2. Replace Self-Criticism with Compassion

Shift from self-criticism, which leads to anxiety and depression, to a kind, coaching relationship with yourself to achieve goals and foster well-being.

3. Ask “What Do I Need?”

Cultivate a nurturing relationship with yourself by frequently asking “What do I need right now?” or “What is good for me right now?”, treating yourself as you would a best friend or child.

4. Feel Your Emotions Fully

Instead of suppressing difficult emotions, which makes them stronger and leads to unhealthy coping, allow yourself to fully experience them for freedom and sovereignty.

5. Use Breathing to Regulate

When emotions are overwhelming, use breathing exercises to calm the nervous system, trigger relaxation, and regain clarity of thought.

6. Breathe Out Longer for Calm

To quickly calm your nervous system, breathe out for 1.5 to 2 times as long as you breathe in (e.g., inhale 4 counts, exhale 6-8 counts).

7. Identify Negative Mental Imprints

Become aware of the negative messages (imprints) absorbed from society, media, or upbringing that keep you small, stuck, or fearful, as awareness diminishes their power.

8. Cultivate Awareness via Contemplation

Engage in practices like meditation, silence, and contemplation to grow internal awareness, discernment, and inner joy, reducing the power of negative imprints.

9. Ground Relationships in Values

Cultivate positive relational energy by deeply grounding yourself in values like compassion, kindness, honesty, and integrity, making others feel safe, seen, and valued.

10. Better Self-Relationship, Better Others

Recognize that a better, less critical relationship with yourself directly leads to better, more supportive relationships with others.

11. Cultivate Nurturing Body Relationship

Stop viewing your body antagonistically; instead, treat it as your precious, temporary home by taking responsibility for its care and appreciating its existence.

12. Prioritize Diet for Mental Health

Increase your intake of fruits and vegetables (aim for eight or more servings daily) as this significantly improves not only physical but also mental health.

13. Seek Nature Exposure Daily

Improve well-being, decrease anxiety and depression by exposing yourself to nature daily; even plants or nature screensavers can have a profound positive impact.

14. Address Trauma to Release Imprints

If past trauma creates lingering fear or limits your life, actively address it through practices like meditation and specific breathing exercises to release its hold and regain freedom.

15. Practice Self-Awareness, Not Criticism

Use self-awareness to identify areas for improvement and take constructive action (e.g., seek help), rather than engaging in self-defeating self-criticism.

16. Realize You’re Bigger Than Feelings

When experiencing intense emotions, remember that you are not enslaved by them; you can observe them from a distance, giving them space to move through you.

17. Practice Reappraisal for Emotions

Look at challenging situations from a different, broader perspective (e.g., ’this sucks, but I learned a lot’) to calm strong emotions and promote self-compassion and wisdom.

18. Embrace Radical Self-Honesty

Cultivate a deep understanding of your emotional landscape and be completely honest with yourself about your feelings and reactions.

19. Practice Creative Expression

Utilize creative outlets as a way to process and release emotions.

20. Move and Ground Yourself

Engage in physical activity or grounding techniques to help metabolize emotions and connect with your body.

21. Practice Media Discernment

Be selective about the information you consume, especially before sleep, by questioning the agenda of the source and choosing content that nourishes your mind.

22. Seek Out Wisdom and Imprints

Actively choose to consume life-supportive information and wisdom from various cultures and traditions to nourish your mind and foster greater sovereignty and perspective.

23. X-Ray Scan Your Media

When consuming media, question the end goal of the creator and whether their message is positive or manipulative, similar to how a colonel teaches his child to question cereal advertising.

24. Attend Silent Meditation Retreats

Periodically (e.g., every two to three months) attend a three-day silent meditation retreat to significantly increase awareness and inner joy, making negative imprints less powerful.

25. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Balance outward compassion with inward self-compassion and establish good boundaries in relationships to maintain a resilient and life-affirming presence.

26. Check Your Energy in Interactions

Notice how you feel after interacting with people (energized vs. depleted) to identify who has positive relational energy and strive to be an uplifting presence for others.

27. Acknowledge Your State to Others

If feeling anxious or off-center, communicate your state to others (e.g., ‘I’m anxious today, so please don’t take what I say personally’) to manage expectations and prevent negative energy transfer.

28. Consult Intuition for Decisions

For complex decisions, balance rational thought with consulting your gut feelings, as research suggests intuition can lead to better outcomes in such situations.

29. Distinguish Intuition from Fear

Before trusting your intuition, ensure it’s not stemming from negative imprints, fears, or prejudices by cultivating self-awareness and calming your mind through practices like meditation.

30. Foster Alpha Wave Mode

Engage in activities that promote an alpha wave brain state (meditation, non-focused activities like staring out a window, playing music) to enhance intuition, creativity, and problem-solving insights.

31. Unplug in Nature

Spend time in nature, especially unplugged for several days, to significantly increase creativity (e.g., 50% increase) and access intuitive insights.

32. Practice Gratitude for Body

Counter self-hatred and body comparison by cultivating gratitude for the preciousness of your body and the opportunity of life, recognizing it as your only permanent home.

33. Contemplate Finitude and Gratitude

Regularly contemplate mortality and the preciousness of life, as this perspective shift helps you focus on the positive, celebrate each moment, and appreciate your body and existence more deeply.