The Neuroscience of Confidence | Ian Robertson

1. Cultivate Strong Sense of Purpose

Develop a clear and strong sense of purpose, as this generates meaningful goals, triggers action, and leads to success experiences that build both mental and physical benefits.

2. Prioritize Intrinsic Goals

Focus on intrinsic goals related to relationships, personal growth, and health, rather than external competitive goals like status or wealth, to achieve higher well-being and security.

3. Affirm Core Values Regularly

Consciously identify and regularly affirm your core values by writing about what they mean to you, which anchors your ego, reduces anxiety from negative social evaluation, and enhances self-reflection.

4. Challenge Fixed Mindset Self-Talk

Monitor and challenge ‘big I’ phrases (e.g., ‘I am stupid,’ ‘I am not capable’) that reflect a fixed mindset, as these limit your ability to learn and grow from failures and new experiences.

5. Embrace Failure as a Teacher

View failure as a valuable learning opportunity that provides more insights into what went wrong than success, and actively monitor your self-talk after setbacks to learn rather than confirm negative self-theories.

6. Act Before Feeling Ready

Take action on desired goals even if you don’t feel fully prepared, as confidence bridges inherent future uncertainty and success often comes from doing things before you feel ready.

7. Practice Mindfulness for Attention

Engage in mindfulness practices to train your attention, thereby gaining better control over your feelings and thoughts, which is a crucial step in managing anxiety and boosting confidence.

8. Reframe Anxiety as Excitement

When experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety before a stressful event, consciously label the feeling as ’excitement’ to shift your mindset from threat to challenge, which can improve performance.

9. Take First Step Despite Anxiety

When facing uncertainty or anxiety, take a small, deliberate first step, even if it’s an internal goal, to gain a sense of success, forward momentum, and master yourself.

10. Set Progressive, Meaningful Goals

Pursue goals that are personally meaningful and stretch you slightly, aiming for a reasonable probability of success (e.g., 90% chance), to gradually build confidence and positive brain states.

11. Practice Cautious Goal Setting

Set modest, realistic goals and projections, leaving room for positive surprises, as this approach avoids overconfidence and leverages the brain’s preference for unexpected rewards.

12. Proceed Incrementally with Challenges

When facing fears or new challenges, stretch yourself bit by bit, allowing for a manageable level of anxiety, to build confidence effectively without overwhelming your system.

13. Use 4-6 Breathing for Calm

Practice slow breathing by inhaling for a count of four and exhaling for a count of six, as this reduces norepinephrine release in your brain, lowering anxiety and making your thinking clearer.

14. Control Attention for Positives

Actively direct your attention to potential positive outcomes and away from negative thoughts or ‘doom scrolling’ to control anxiety and feed your brain with positive input.

15. Practice Gratitude and Journaling

Regularly reflect on things you are grateful for or keep a diary to record positive daily events, as these practices train your attention towards positive experiences and enhance self-awareness.

16. Automate Confidence Habits

Consistently practice confidence-boosting techniques hundreds of times until they become automatic habits, making them more accessible and effective during anxious states.

17. Distance from Confidence Saboteurs

Identify and distance yourself from individuals (colleagues, friends, family) who undermine your confidence, and instead seek out supportive relationships.

18. Resist Dominance in Interactions

Actively resist being browbeaten or allowing others to impose dominance relationships on you, particularly in professional settings, to maintain your confidence and assertiveness.

19. Counter Stereotypes with Behavior

Actively mimic behaviors and external trappings that counteract negative stereotypes associated with your group (e.g., age, gender) to avoid internalizing them.

20. Seek 360-Degree Feedback

If in a position of power, implement or seek out 360-degree assessments to receive feedback from all levels, which helps constrain narcissism and overconfidence.