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The Medieval Executioner in Your Head | Valerie Brown

Feb 26, 2020 1h 11m 26 insights
Valerie Brown grew up in poverty in Brooklyn, New York. When she was a teenager, her mother passed away and her father left her to fend for herself. Valerie was forced to become an adult before anyone should have to. She put herself through school, becoming a successful lawyer and lobbyist before realizing that she had been running away from something her whole life. She had been trying to escape her past. Even with all of her success and overcoming hardships, Valerie still found herself unhappy and unfulfilled. That's when she found mindfulness and meditation. With a new clarity in life, she no longer felt the need to run away because she could now happily live in the present. Valerie is now a leadership coach, educator and retreat leader, helping those in need of clarity in their lives. Though she loves to help everyone, Valerie focuses on people of color who face adversity. Plug Zone Website: www.leadsmartcoaching.com Books: www.amazon.com/Valerie-Brown/e/B00MDBD72M El Camino de Santiago in Spain Pilgrimage: https://www.leadsmartcoaching.com/services/pilgrimage-art-sacred-travel/ Ten Percent Happier Plugs Podcast show-notes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/valerie-brown-228 Podcast Survey: www.tenpercent.com/survey Event with Dan at New York Press Club: https://www.nypressclub.org/in-conversation-with-10-happiers-dan-harris-on-march-4-2020/ Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
Actionable Insights

1. Question Fixed Mindsets: Am I Sure?

In moments of strong belief or disagreement, pause and ask yourself ‘Am I sure?’ to introduce curiosity, challenge fixed mindsets, and reduce polarization in discussions.

2. Welcome All Thoughts & Emotions

Practice welcoming all thoughts and emotions, even the uncomfortable or undesirable ones, with warmth and hospitality, rather than running from them, as this is a mark of a ’true human’.

3. Love Your ‘Unacceptable’ Self

Extend love and acceptance to the parts of yourself you deem ’never good enough’ or undesirable, rather than hiding or rejecting them, as this is a profound act of self-compassion.

4. Notice Your Life’s Hidden Drivers

Pay attention to the underlying drivers of your actions, even mundane ones, as they can reveal deep-seated fears or insufficiencies that have been unconsciously guiding your life.

5. Cultivate Internal Happiness

Focus on generating happiness from within, acknowledging your current circumstances (good, bad, or in-between), and then share that happiness with others as a core practice.

6. Practice Engaged Service

Strengthen your personal practice (e.g., meditation) not for narcissistic reasons, but as a foundation for engaging in the world and serving others, following the tradition of engaged Buddhism.

7. Embrace Waking Up’s Inconvenience

Embrace the inconvenience and discomfort of self-discovery after a profound insight, as it’s a necessary step for genuine transformation and finding your true self beyond old patterns.

8. Mindfulness in Daily Life

Cultivate an awareness of being alive in every moment by practicing mindfulness during daily activities such as walking, eating, speaking, drinking, and resting.

9. Basic Meditation: Breath Awareness

Sit still and, when distracted, gently bring your awareness back to the breath, focusing on the in-breath and out-breath, as a simple yet powerful meditation technique.

10. Cultivate Beginner’s Mindset

Adopt a ‘beginner’s mind’ by remaining open, curious, and unfixed in your views, actively seeking to understand others’ perspectives rather than making master assessments.

11. Awareness of the Body

Cultivate awareness of your body as a fundamental mindfulness practice, recognizing it as the first foundation of mindfulness in the Plum Village tradition.

12. Resting Precedes Healing

Prioritize resting and stopping as a fundamental precondition for physical and mental healing, allowing the body and mind to calm down.

13. Connect with Nature: Cloud Practice

Observe nature daily, such as looking at clouds and breathing, to foster deep sympathy, empathy, and a sense of connection to the natural world and beyond.

14. Forest Bathing for Calm

Spend time immersed in nature (‘forest bathing’), paying attention to your surroundings, to naturally lower blood pressure, calm your heart rate, and experience a soothing effect.

15. Heal Personal Trauma First

If you’ve experienced trauma (e.g., racial trauma), use mindfulness and meditation to heal your own body and mind, build self-worth, and calm tension before engaging in broader efforts to heal societal divides.

16. Mindfulness for Difficult Conversations

Use mindfulness practices to enhance your ability to listen, recognize triggers, and manage emotional responses during difficult or ‘courageous’ conversations, allowing you to tolerate differing opinions.

17. Let Go of Scaffolding

Be prepared for the difficulty and fear of letting go of established security (e.g., career, pension) when pursuing a new path aligned with your awakening, as it can be terrifying but necessary.

18. Seek Guidance for Transformation

Actively seek out educational programs, communities, and teachers (like those at Georgetown’s Institute for Transformational Leadership) to guide your personal transformation and self-discovery.

19. Define Your Desired State (Coaching)

When engaging in coaching, focus on clearly defining your current state and articulating your desired future state, as this is central to the coaching process and personal growth.

20. Coaching for Perspective Shift

Engage in coaching to transform your way of thinking and being, allowing you to see things in a different way and gain new insights, similar to the process of meditation.

21. Be a Whole Human Leader

Strive to be a ‘whole human’ leader by integrating intellect and heart, maintaining compassion, and cultivating awareness of basic actions like breathing, walking, and sitting, especially in a world of continuous partial attention.

22. Self-Compassion & Interconnectedness

Practice self-compassion by recognizing your individual experience while simultaneously understanding your deep interconnectedness with all things, fostering a sense of not being alone in your suffering.

23. Pilgrimage for Life Transformation

Consider embarking on a pilgrimage or immersive travel experience, such as the El Camino de Santiago, for personal transformation, deep reflection, and complete immersion in the natural world.

24. Mindfulness for School Administrators

Despite busyness, prioritize mindfulness practices for yourself as a school administrator, as it is crucial for effective leadership, well-being, and setting an example for teachers and students.

25. Insight 25

If you are a long-time listener of the podcast, fill out the survey at 10percent.com/survey to provide feedback on what the show is doing right and where it could improve.

26. Insight 26

If you are in New York City, attend Dan Harris’s talk on Wednesday, March 4th, at the New York Press Club and Craig Newmark Graduate School of Journalism, which will cover meditation, journalism, and more.