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The Many Benefits of a "Paradox Mindset" | Dolly Chugh

Mar 1, 2023 56m 26s 13 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>The human animal doesn't love paradox. We love a clear, simple story. Us versus them. Good versus evil. But life is rarely like that. This is especially true when it comes to wrestling with history. Our guest today calls it the patriot's dilemma. How do you love your country while also acknowledging the painful and horrifying stuff that has happened in the past?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Dolly Chugh is a professor at the New York University Stern School of Business where she teaches MBA courses in leadership and management. This is her second time on the show. <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dolly-chugh-how-good-people-fight-bias/id1087147821?i=1000468718792" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The last time she came on, she spoke about the concept of being "good-ish.<u>"</u></a> One of the reasons we get defensive when people criticize us is that we feel like it's a threat to our precious notion of being a good person. But if you have a good-ish mindset, then there's always room to grow. Her new book, <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/A-More-Just-Future/Dolly-Chugh/9781982157609" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>A More Just Future</em></a>, encourages us to do that for America.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: This episode includes brief mentions of slavery and violence.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode, we talked about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Why Dolly was scared to write this book</li> <li>What the home team bias is and how it shows up when we think about our past</li> <li>What belief grief is</li> <li>The "long time ago illusion"</li> <li>And, what Dolly calls being a gritty patriot </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dolly-chugh-568" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dolly-chugh-568</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Gritty Patriotism

Adopt a mindset of passion and perseverance towards your country, understanding that love of country doesn’t have to be easy or uncritical. Work to improve your country, even when it’s difficult, rather than expecting an effortless love.

2. Embrace Paradox Mindset

Train your brain to accept that two conflicting statements can simultaneously be true, as this loosens the mind, fosters creativity in problem-solving, and builds resilience when facing emotionally difficult situations.

3. Adopt a Good-ish Mindset

Approach self-criticism or national criticism with a ‘good-ish’ mindset, recognizing that this perspective always leaves room for growth and improvement, rather than feeling threatened by perceived flaws.

4. Take Collective Responsibility

View your country like an old house you own; accept responsibility for its ’leaks’ (painful historical issues) not because you caused them, but because you benefit from the house and must address issues that affect the present.

5. Connect Historical Dots

Actively work against the ’long time ago illusion’ by recognizing that the past is living in the present, and understanding historical events helps clarify current societal patterns and disparities.

6. See Problems Without Judgment

Approach difficult issues, like the ‘Patriot’s Dilemma’ (loving your country while acknowledging its painful past), by simply seeing the problem for what it is, without immediate judgment, similar to meditation principles.

7. Expect Emotional Discomfort

Prepare for the emotional ‘weather’ of disbelief, anger, shame, or guilt when engaging with complex history, allowing these emotions to arise without being owned by them, knowing they will pass.

8. Affirm Values to Avoid Denial

When faced with information that triggers denial, return to your core values (e.g., equality, liberty) by reflecting on them, as this practice helps you ride through difficult emotions and prevents shutting down.

9. Reject Racial Fables

Be critical of simplified historical narratives (racial fables) that sugarcoat the past, as these can cloud your judgment of current change efforts and lead to unhelpful critiques of contemporary activism.

10. Diversify Your Media Diet

Review your last 5-10 consumed media items (podcasts, movies, books) and intentionally seek out content that offers at least 10% more varied perspectives and voices to broaden your understanding of lived experiences and historical narratives.

11. Apply the 10% More Rule

Engage with challenging issues sustainably: if new, be 10% more mortified (stay in learning mode); if familiar, be 10% more terrified (take more risks, speak up); if exhausted, be 10% more satisfied (take a break, knowing others can step in).

12. Adopt a Historiographer’s Lens

When encountering historical narratives, put on ‘historiographer goggles’ to question whose perspective is being presented and what might be left out, similar to how one would question different family members’ accounts of an event.

13. Seek Paradox Points

Gamify the embrace of paradox by actively looking for ‘paradox points’ in daily life, recognizing that if your brain seeks consistency, it will be frustrated, but seeking paradox allows you to see things more as they are.