← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

The Importance of Dying Before You Die, Helen Tworkov

May 8, 2019 1h 29m 27 insights
Helen Tworkov first encountered Buddhism in Nepal during the 1960's and has studied in both the Zen and Tibetan traditions. She has also studied with Mingyur Rinpoche, a well-known Tibetan Buddhist meditation master. Together they have written the book "In Love with the World: A Monk's Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying." The book details Rinpoche's intimate account of his three year journey away from his monastery and the near-death experience that allowed him to gain life-changing wisdom. The Plug Zone Tricycle: https://tricycle.org/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/Love-World-Journey-Through-Bardos/dp/0525512535 ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
Actionable Insights

1. Release All Attachments

Identify and release all forms of attachment, whether to status, possessions, or even concepts like poverty, as these attachments express and entrap the ego. This process allows for a different level of being to flourish.

2. Distinguish Letting Go from Giving Up

Understand that ’letting go’ means releasing attachment to outcomes or fixed ideas, not abandoning your goals or activities. The problem lies in the attachment itself, not the pursuit of ambition.

3. Quiet Mind to Connect with Love

Reduce the dominance of the thinking and intellectual mind to uncover your inherent loving nature. When conceptual thought drains out, you can access a hidden, fundamental state of love and acceptance.

4. Loosen Fixed Self-Perception

Challenge your fixed ideas of who you are by continuously working with the sense of continuity and change in all situations. This practice can loosen the mind’s rigid perceptions and free you from feeling stuck.

5. Perceive Daily Birth and Death

View everyday experiences as continuous cycles of ‘dying, changing, and being reborn.’ This perspective, seeing bardos as states of mind throughout the day, can reduce the fear of physical death.

6. Focus on Activity, Not Validation

When performing tasks, focus purely on the activity itself rather than on how it will make you look or what external validation it will bring. This allows for greater effectiveness and reduces the misery caused by attachment.

7. Investigate Illusion of Self

Through sustained meditation, investigate the illusion of a fixed ‘self’ or ’thinker’ behind your thoughts. The aim is to realize that consciousness is ’empty of self,’ meaning there is no permanent, independent entity at its core.

8. Take Responsibility for Suffering

Recognize that you are creating your own suffering and possess the capacity to liberate yourself from it, rather than blaming others. This understanding is a critical first step toward working with emotional difficulties.

9. Practice Nature of Mind Meditation

Engage in ’nature of mind’ meditation by repeatedly asking yourself, ‘Where is your mind?’ This practice aims to familiarize yourself with your mind beyond its surface-level activity and can bring specificity to your meditation.

10. Inquire into Mind’s Nature

Ask yourself profound questions like ‘What color is your mind?’, ‘How big is your mind?’, ‘Where does it come from?’, and ‘Where does it go?’ to explore and become more familiar with the deeper aspects of your consciousness.

11. Investigate Sensory Experience

When experiencing sensory input, such as hearing noises, ask yourself, ‘What is hearing?’ or ‘Who is hearing these noises?’ The act of looking for an answer and not finding a fixed entity can be a healing and insightful practice.

12. Address Obsessive Thinking with Meditation

If your mind is driving you crazy with obsessive, unpleasant thoughts, turn to meditation practice. It offers an alternative to unconstructive rumination and can provide hope and optimism.

13. Practice ‘Remembering’ to Wake Up

Engage in mindfulness as a practice of ‘remembering’ or ‘recollecting’ to wake up from denial and forgetfulness, especially regarding difficult truths like impermanence.

14. Reflect on Daily Beginnings and Endings

In your daily activities, pause to ask ‘Where does it start? Where does it end?’ This practice helps absorb the concept of continuous change and transformation, loosening fixed ideas about yourself and your experiences.

15. Practice Breath as Birth and Death

Use your breath as a continuous practice of recognizing beginning and ending, birth and death. Each inhale can be seen as a rebirth, and each exhale as a death, fostering a sense of continuous change.

16. Practice Letting Go to Foster Openness

Consciously practice letting go in small moments, like releasing a breath, to cultivate new possibilities, greater curiosity, and acceptance of what is present. This helps break habitual mental programs.

17. Reframe Small Endings as Grieving

Apply the concept of grieving and letting go to everyday ’endings,’ like finishing a book or a project. This shift in perspective allows you to be more open to new experiences and reduces attachment to what has passed.

18. Re-evaluate Enlightenment Concept

Challenge the idea of enlightenment as a static, immutable state. Instead, embrace the understanding that everything is changeable and transitory, applying this perspective even to spiritual attainment.

19. Distinguish Glimpses from Enlightenment

Understand that brief ’enlightenment experiences’ or ‘glimpses’ are not the same as sustained enlightenment. True enlightenment requires a deep, acquired steadiness of mind beyond fleeting insights.

20. Adjust Expectations of Practice

Understand that spiritual practices like Buddhism will not solve all your problems permanently, as new challenges and circumstances will always arise. This perspective helps manage expectations and reduces disillusionment.

21. Seek Spiritual Guidance

Consider seeking a spiritual teacher or guru for guidance in your practice, as Helen found her practice was not where she wanted it to be without one.

22. Overcome Fear of Practice

If you have fears or misunderstandings about spiritual practice or teachers, recognize that these can be overcome over time. Helen took 10 years to move past her initial fears and begin practicing.

23. Practice Loving-Kindness Realistically

When practicing loving-kindness meditation, send wishes like ‘may you be safe, healthy, happy, and live with ease,’ even to those struggling. If your mind argues, simply note the thought and return to the wishes, aiming for the best possible state given current circumstances, not unrealistic fantasies.

24. Undertake a Wandering Retreat

Consider undertaking a ‘wandering retreat’ by moving through streets and forests, begging for food, and living in unconventional ways. This practice, traditionally done by meditation masters, challenges attachments and deepens practice in real-world conditions.

25. Create Independent Discussion Platforms

When facing difficult or controversial issues within a community, create independent platforms (like Tricycle Magazine) to discuss them openly, own the narrative, and place them in a larger, sympathetic context.

26. Update 10% Happier App

Update the 10% Happier app to experience its new design and access new meditations. Provide feedback via Twitter or the in-app coach to help improve the user experience.

27. Subscribe to Life After Suicide

Subscribe to Dr. Jen Ashton’s podcast, ‘Life After Suicide,’ to hear discussions about grief and coping with loss.