Acknowledge that trying to control everything, especially in catastrophic situations, is impossible and creates immense anxiety; letting go of this need can bring tremendous relief and peace.
In times of extreme stress or suffering, aim to be ‘adequate’ rather than striving for constant heroism; being adequate means not making things worse and doing what you can to sustain yourself and your family. Don’t be ashamed to seek help to achieve this.
Recognize that associating self-worth or masculinity with absolute control over circumstances is a fallacy; external events can strip this away, leading to humility and a burning off of ego.
Consciously shift focus away from societal pressures like competitive parenting, political schisms, or material possessions towards what truly matters, fostering a profound change in perspective.
Reflect on what you consider valuable and meaningful in life, as these assumptions can sometimes create a ‘prison’ of expectations and control, hindering true peace.
Recognize that the love you need most is often self-love, and feeling this can open you up to receiving support and experiencing ‘miracles’ from others.
View love in all its various expressions as a miraculous force that changes and sustains us, and needs to be supported and appreciated.
When facing overwhelming challenges, try multiple modalities (meditation, counseling, medication, etc.) simultaneously to see what works best for you.
If meditation alone is insufficient for extreme anxiety or depression, explore low-dose antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication without shame, viewing it as a complementary tool rather than a failure.
It’s acceptable to combine meditation with other forms of support, like medication, without feeling like you’re ‘cheating’ or failing as a meditator.
Recognize that faith can provide valuable teachings and sustenance for dealing with life’s challenges, and people of faith are not just ‘blind zealots’ or ‘superstitious ignoramuses’.
If raised with faith, allow yourself to return to it when stripped of other supports, as it can provide a deep well of love, peace, and calm, even after periods of rebellion.
Actively seek out and engage in genuine conversations and fellowship with friends, faith communities, or support groups to combat feelings of hopelessness and maintain a sense of acceptance and love.
Actively seek and accept help from friends, family, and community members, especially those who share similar experiences or faith, as this fellowship provides invaluable support and prevents isolation.
Actively seek opportunities to help others, as focusing on someone else’s problems can be a powerful way to get out of your own head and be of practical use.
Making a visible effort to address problems can improve relational dynamics, as partners often appreciate the effort itself, regardless of immediate substantive benefits.
Begin with simple meditation techniques to separate yourself from immediate circumstances and feelings, creating a pause before reacting, especially when in a hyper-stimulated state.
Take time to truly concentrate on the fact that there are other living creatures around you who are probably suffering in their own way, and silently bless them with peace and wellness.
Instead of sinking below reality with negative distractions (screens, substance abuse), engage in practices like meditation to rise above immediate circumstances and gain perspective.
Recognize that witnessing the fragility of the human body can diminish the entertainment value of fictional violence; consider reducing consumption of such content.
Through witnessing the kind of beautiful and graceful and transcendent ways that some people can approach the end of their life, work towards being much less resistant to that process.
Offer belief and encouragement to children facing challenges, as this can instill a resolute determination that helps them overcome obstacles.
Recognize that while external achievements and possessions (house, car, vacations) might seem appealing, true fulfillment comes from authentic experiences and focusing on what really matters, rather than an ’empty’ pursuit of superficial things.
If a spouse gives an ultimatum regarding marital problems, take it seriously and seek counseling or other forms of help to address underlying issues before they lead to catastrophic damage.