Actively engage with your natural capacity for kindness and compassion, as this leads to greater happiness and success in life when tapped into.
Contemplate and integrate principles of cooperation and gratitude into your core philosophy of life to guide your actions and choices, moving beyond assumptions of unchecked competition.
Consciously choose to nourish your positive tendencies, as love and compassion are skills that can be trained, for instance, through meditation, aligning with the idea that ’the wolf that wins is the wolf you feed'.
Make cooperation and intentional gratitude your initial responses in interactions as often as possible, as this can positively transform your relationships and work environment.
Actively seek out experiences of awe, whether in nature, music, or art, as it fosters humility, increases sharing with strangers, and encourages helping behavior by unleashing your ‘better angels’.
Recognize that all passions, including kindness, anger, fear, and gratitude, are useful when applied in the right context, to the right degree, and for the right purpose, following Aristotle’s principle of moderation.
Understand that humans possess many different tendencies, including adversarial and pro-social ones, and acknowledging this complexity is crucial for navigating social life effectively.
Avoid relying solely on kindness or cooperation, as a broad array of strategies, including toughness when appropriate, is necessary to avoid exploitation and succeed in life.
When employing tougher tactics in conflicts or negotiations, ensure your motivation is not dehumanizing hatred or excessive rage, but rather strategic assertiveness.
Engage in competition or use tough tactics while maintaining respect for others, avoiding the desire to utterly destroy them or operating from a sense of superiority.
Allow yourself to feel and express calibrated anger (not rage or resentment) when seeking social change, as it provides strength in negotiations and advocating for your cause.
When competing, consciously maintain respect, liking, or even love for your opponents to prevent interactions from devolving into dehumanizing rage or tribalism.
Recognize play as fundamental to social life and a deep human tendency, using it to build connections, foster intimacy, and navigate challenges.
When teasing, incorporate elements like exaggeration, funny voices, self-deprecation, and laughter to ensure it is lighthearted, compassionate, and strengthens bonds rather than hurts.
Employ laughter, joking, and teasing as effective tools for navigating conflicts, dealing with challenging individuals, and managing negotiations.
Humbly recognize and adapt to cultural variations in humor and playfulness to avoid missteps and foster more effective cross-cultural interactions.
Deliberately use self-deprecation, laughter, and sweet-but-critical nicknames to make playful interactions more effective and less likely to cause offense.
Always ask for consent before engaging in physical touch to ensure respect, avoid misinterpretation, and prevent any form of harassment.
Employ strategic and appropriate physical touch, such as hugs or high-fives, to foster cooperation, improve team performance, and enhance leadership effectiveness.
As a leader, consciously balance your self-serving tendencies with your responsibilities to others, using power as an opportunity for personal growth and ethical decision-making.
Understand that holding power means affecting more people’s lives daily, which entails greater responsibility for their well-being and emotional lives.
Recognize that power is granted by the goodwill and respect of those you lead, fostering humility and preventing abuse that could lead to its loss.
Tightly connect with others and earn their trust and respect, as this network is core to your ability to do well and gain opportunities for influence; abusing this trust leads to marginalization.
Actively seek to place kind, empathetic individuals in positions of power, as their pre-existing pro-social tendencies will lead to more positive outcomes for groups and organizations.
Create environments in homes, workplaces, and educational institutions that incentivize and cultivate human tendencies for cooperation and sharing.
For women, it can be beneficial to consciously draw sharper boundaries, stand up for oneself, and negotiate hard for raises or promotions to advance personal and professional goals.
Men are encouraged to become more empathetic and engage with their emotional lives, contributing to a more balanced and dynamic social landscape.
Make a habit of daily engagement with nature, as it has been shown to have numerous positive impacts on personal well-being.
Go easy on yourself after making mistakes, as practicing self-compassion helps mitigate self-laceration and promotes mental well-being.
Contribute to addressing global challenges like climate change by consciously shifting personal attitudes and preferences towards transport and consumption.
Engage in cultural conversations that encourage and promote new models of leadership rooted in kindness and the building of strong social networks.
Explore the ‘Greater Good’ online magazine and ‘Greater Good in Action’ practices from Berkeley for scientific findings and practical exercises on cultivating positive human tendencies.
Educators should utilize the free resources from ‘Greater Good in Education’ to teach mindfulness, gratitude, and awe, helping to cultivate positive traits in students.
Tune into ‘The Science of Happiness’ podcast for expert-led discussions on research-tested strategies for living a happier life.
Download the 10% Happier app and join the free five-day ‘Ted Lasso Challenge’ to receive concrete tools and guided meditations for practicing kindness.