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The Dharma of Work | Matthew Hepburn

Aug 30, 2023 1h 6m 19 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>The office might be one of the most difficult places to not side with yourself, but it's a concept that can help you navigate challenging situations at work.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Matthew is a meditation and dharma teacher with more than a decade of teaching experience and a passion for getting real about what it means to live well. He emphasizes humor, technique, and authentic kindness as a means to free the mind from unnecessary struggle and leave a healthier impact on the world. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Beyond Ten Percent Happier, Matthew has taught in prisons, schools, corporate events and continues to teach across North America in buddhist centers offering intensive silent retreats and dharma for urban daily life. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How to change your relationship to your thoughts</li> <li>How to navigate the highs of praise and the lows of blame</li> <li>How to handle relationships at work when giving or receiving feedback</li> <li>How to bring your mindfulness practice to your workplace</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.</a><a href="http://tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-598" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/matthew-hepburn-work</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Don’t Side With Yourself

When facing contentious issues, especially at work, actively try to see the situation from somebody else’s perspective instead of automatically defending your own view, as this can prevent ego-driven conflicts.

2. Interrogate Overwhelming Thoughts

Recognize that overwhelming thoughts are often just “fabrications of the mind” or “perspectives” rather than universal truths; question them and choose not to believe in or feed them to reduce misery.

3. Own Your Weaknesses

Cultivate undefended self-awareness of your blemishes, struggles, or areas for growth, and be willing to name them, as this can disarm others and open up dialogue in relationships.

4. Reaffirm Relationship Before Feedback

When delivering difficult feedback, explicitly state your positive intention and reaffirm the importance of the working relationship, ensuring the other person feels supported and that you “got each other’s backs” foundationally.

5. Focus on the Present Moment

Avoid feeling overwhelmed by not collapsing multiple days of work into a single moment; instead, take each moment as it comes, focusing only on what needs to be done in the next few minutes.

6. Integrate Mindfulness into Work

Actively turn aspects of your work life into a meditation practice by integrating mindfulness into ordinary activities, as work is a high-potential area to invest in for well-being.

7. Build Trust for Upward Feedback

To give honest feedback to those in positions of power, focus on building a relationship over time where there is enough mutual trust and commitment to supporting each other as professionals.

8. Detachment from Praise and Blame

View praise and blame as transient “weather patterns” that come and go, rather than defining your self-worth or the quality of your work based on them, to avoid derailing focus and creativity.

9. Seek Help from Colleagues

When overwhelmed, take on perspectives that incline you towards tapping into the trusting relationships you’ve built with colleagues to ask for help or grace, as sharing a burden can make it feel smaller.

10. Accept Help Graciously

When offered help, accept it graciously, as it provides others with an opportunity to express generosity, which feels good to them and should not be obstructed.

11. Ask “What Else Is True?”

If a thought causes stress or pain, use it as an alarm bell and ask yourself “what else is true?” to find alternative, equally valid perspectives that can change your attitude and approach.

12. Lead with Vulnerability

When approaching a discussion, especially one where you are advocating for yourself or a different path, lead by vulnerably acknowledging your biggest weak points or struggles, as this can change the tenor of the conversation and foster better listening.

13. Check How & When for Feedback

Before delivering critical feedback, check in with the person by asking “is this a good time?” and “what’s the way that you want this feedback?” to give them agency and improve reception.

14. Lean on Trust & Skills

When feeling overwhelmed, relax back into trusted work relationships and rely on your developed skill sets and aptitudes, staying willing to learn and humble, doing your best moment by moment.

15. Separate Planning from Doing

Do your planning when necessary to organize tasks and breaks, but once planning is complete, shift your focus to taking each moment as it comes, recognizing that trying to mentally tackle all future tasks at once fuels overwhelm.

16. Attune to Subtle Well-being Shifts

Pay attention to subtle cues, such as reaching for a coffee cup, to notice how small moments of stress or tension trigger soothing behaviors, allowing you to become attuned to subtle fluctuations in your well-being and respond creatively.

17. Assess Workplace Honesty Safety

If you consistently feel unable to be honest and authentic in your work relationships, evaluate whether staying in that role or workplace is conducive to your overall well-being.

18. Focus on Impact, Not Fear of Blame

Care about whether your actions and work are helpful and beneficial to others, but distinguish this from cowering from potential blame or craving praise, which can undermine the quality of your work.

19. Apply Mindfulness at Work

View work as a testing ground for meditation and self-improvement, consciously bringing practices like mindfulness, patience, and kindness into the workplace, as it is a rich area for growth.