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The Case for Devotion, Kittisaro and Thanissara

Nov 20, 2019 1h 48m 39 insights
Kittisaro graduated from Princeton as a Rhodes Scholar and went on to Oxford before going to Thailand to ordain with Ajahn Chah in 1976. He was a monk for 15 years. Thanissara started Buddhist practice in 1975, decided to ordain after meeting Ajahn Chah and spent 12 years as a Buddhist nun. They had known each other for years when they fell in love in 1991. They decided to leave the order so they could be together and were married the following year. They have gone on to become co-founders of Dharmagiri Sacred Mountain Retreat in South Africa and co-authors of Listening to the Heart: A Contemplative Guide to Engaged Buddhism. They are Guiding Teachers of Sacred Mountain Sangha, on the Spirit Rock Teacher Council, and are Core Teachers at Insight Meditation Society. In a wide ranging interview, they discuss their practice and how their monastic lives have prepared them for their life in a relationship. Plug Zone Website: http://sacredmountainsangha.org/ Books Listening to the Heart: A Contemplative Journey to Engaged Buddhism: https://www.amazon.com/Listening-Heart-Contemplative-Journey-Buddhism/dp/1583948392 Time to Stand Up: An Engaged Buddhist Manifesto for Our Earth -- The Buddha's Life and Message through Feminine Eyes https://www.amazon.com/Time-Stand-Up-Buddhist-Manifesto/dp/158394916X Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
Actionable Insights

1. Open to Suffering’s Message

View suffering not just as a negative experience, but as a potential messenger that can deepen your capacity to be with life’s difficulties. Approaching suffering with awareness can lead to illumination and understanding.

2. Breathe with Struggles to Understand

When facing struggles, allow your awareness to touch and breathe with the difficulty, honoring these moments. This can illuminate how you perpetuate distress and help soften grasping and rejecting, connecting you with a deeper core.

3. Understand Family Conflict Patterns

Recognize that your approach to conflict is shaped by family conditioning, and your partner’s is too. Understanding these different patterns in yourself and your partner can help you navigate disputes more effectively.

4. Pause and Name Conflict Patterns

In moments of conflict, learn to identify when you’re caught in a conditioned pattern, then consciously pause to create space for understanding and resolution. This helps break reactive cycles and allows for clearer communication.

5. Communicate Needs During Conflict

Clearly articulate what is happening for you and what you need in moments of conflict (e.g., ‘I need some space right now’). This helps your partner understand your internal experience and avoids misinterpretations.

6. Show Solidarity in Distress

In moments of deep distress or conflict, sometimes an explanation isn’t needed; a simple gesture of solidarity, like holding a hand, can be a powerful way to offer support. This helps someone emerge from a difficult emotional state by feeling connected.

7. Focus on One Thing Well

Instead of trying to understand everything superficially, choose one fundamental practice (like being with your breathing) and understand it thoroughly. This deep understanding can lead to insight into everything, as all phenomena are interconnected.

8. Become a Doctor of the Heart

Focus on cultivating inner wisdom and understanding the nature of the heart or spirit. This path, as taught by Ajahn Chah, can lead to discovering that which is timeless and transcends birth and death.

9. Practice Symbolic Bowing to Deepest Nature

Use bowing as a symbolic act to momentarily set aside your opinions and return to the fundamental ground of being. This practice honors your own deepest nature and the timeless awareness within, rather than just an external image.

10. Soften Volition for Timeless Ground

Beyond constant striving and willpower, learn to soften your volition and effort. This allows you to notice the unmoving, timeless ground of being within which all experiences of pleasure and pain arise.

11. Shift Refuge from External Reliance

Use contemplative and meditation practices to move your sense of safety and security away from an over-reliance on external circumstances. External things are inherently uncertain, so cultivating inner stability provides a more reliable refuge.

12. Find Peace in Accepting Reality

Cultivate the ability to recognize and abide peacefully with things exactly as they are, whether pleasant, neutral, or painful. This practice helps you find stability rather than seeking certainty in an uncertain world.

13. Cultivate Primary Relationship via Meditation

Use meditation to develop skill in relating to the essential elements of experience – sensations, feelings, and the fundamental aspects of being. This enhances your ability to connect with others and the world around you.

14. Allow Space for Withdrawal

Grant yourself permission to withdraw attention from external responsibilities for periods to compose, calm, and center yourself. This refreshment and grounding allows you to skillfully re-engage with the external world.

15. Shift Devotion from Self-Righteousness

Recognize that you are already devoted to things like your views and opinions, often believing you are right. Consciously shift this devotion away from self-righteousness and blind obedience to your biases towards a more open truth.

16. Devote to Truth and Inner Awareness

Dedicate yourself to understanding ’the way things are’ (Dharma) through practices of training attention and inquiry. This helps you recognize your core source of reflectiveness, inner awareness, and inner listening.

17. Return to Simple Presence

When overwhelmed by complexity, return to the simplicity of being present with your immediate experience, such as sitting or standing. This practice helps you find grounding and clarity in the moment.

18. Question Objective Worldview Limits

Challenge the purely objective, extractive scientific worldview by considering the subjectivity of consciousness and the interconnectedness of all things. This expands understanding beyond seeing reality as mere objects to be exploited.

19. Infuse Life with Awe

Cultivate a worldview that recognizes the conscious beingness and subjectivity in all things, infusing life with a sense of awe, mystery, and deep respect. This perspective acknowledges that not everything is an object, but part of a living web.

20. Embrace Humility for Planetary Crisis

Acknowledge humanity’s role in the planetary crisis with humility, recognizing that current approaches are out of harmony and require a fundamental shift. This mindset is crucial for addressing global challenges effectively.

21. Cultivate Reverence for Nature

Develop a deep sense of reverence for nature, your own body, and all relationships, integrating this sacredness into your daily actions and interactions. This fosters a respectful and sustainable way of living.

22. Drop Back to Awareness

Practice dropping back from thoughts, stories, and emotions to perceive them playing out against the mysterious backdrop of consciousness or awareness. This creates distance from mental content and reveals a deeper ground of being.

23. Experience Interconnectedness with Vastness

Cultivate experiences that allow you to feel part of a vast, mysterious totality, recognizing the interflowing nature of all existence. This can be achieved by observing natural processes, like the breath exchange with trees.

24. Utilize Religious Structures as Tools

Approach religious structures, ceremonies, or rituals as tools for spiritual exploration and transformation, rather than as ultimate truths to be blindly believed. This allows for personal engagement without dogmatism.

25. Use Physical Practices to Ground

Engage in physical practices like bowing to shift your focus away from overthinking and into a more grounded, present state. This helps to ‘get out of your head’ and connect with your body and the present moment.

26. Meet Crises Realistically with Dharma

Apply Dharma teachings to cultivate the capacity to realistically face and engage with the multifaceted crises of the world. This means not spiritually bypassing challenges, but meeting them with clarity and resilience.

27. Build Internal Resilience for Challenges

Focus on resourcing yourself and building internal capacity and reliance to meet challenging circumstances, such as climate catastrophe, with greater strength and stability. This prepares you to navigate unprecedented difficulties.

28. Do Not Shy from Reality

While building resilience, do not avoid or pretend that difficult realities, like the climate crisis, are not happening. Acknowledge them directly to foster a truthful and engaged response.

29. Consciously Name Emergencies to Act

Clearly and consciously identify situations as emergencies (e.g., climate crisis) to recognize that ‘business as usual’ is no longer viable. This realization prompts the need for radical changes and urgent action.

30. Engage in Collective Conversations

Foster and participate in collective conversations within communities to share and discuss unprecedented, multifaceted crises. Individual approaches are insufficient; collective dialogue is essential for understanding and response.

31. Prepare Collectively for Future

Consciously prepare for future challenges by collaboratively developing practical skills and strengths within communities. This involves determining collective needs and strategies to enhance group resilience.

32. Rejoice in Simplicity and Presence

Learn to touch the world lightly, finding joy and appreciation in simple things like your breath, presence, sharing, and others’ good fortune. This fosters a non-exploitative way of living that values intrinsic worth over consumption.

33. Relinquish Appropriating Consciousness

Investigate and loosen your attachment to a consciousness that defines security solely by what you own, have, or control. Realize instead your interconnectedness with a vast, mysterious totality, fostering a sense of belonging beyond possession.

34. Practice Soft Surrendering

Cultivate a soft surrendering that allows you to hold the world more lightly. This fosters appreciation for your deep kinship with other beings and Mother Earth, promoting harmony and interconnectedness.

35. Compose Self to Bless Earth

By composing yourself and consciously changing your attitude, you can positively impact and ‘bless’ Mother Earth and your environment. Your internal state has a ripple effect on the world around you.

36. Question Societal Trajectories

Deeply question the path society expects you to be on (e.g., career, marriage, settling down) to explore alternative ways of being and understanding. This critical inquiry can lead to a more authentic life path.

37. Seek Wise Teachers

When exploring inner landscapes or spiritual paths, recognize the value of finding teachers who can share what they know, bless, encourage, and guide you. A good teacher provides invaluable support and direction.

38. Practice Silent Pausing

Find quiet places to sit silently and pause, allowing yourself to connect with the resonance of presence. This practice helps you discover what you might be overlooking in your life and fosters inner calm.

39. Learn to Shift Consciousness

If seeking alternative ways of being and understanding, consider meditation as a crucial next step to learn how to shift and open your consciousness. This foundational practice enables deeper self-exploration.